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Candorville

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-02 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-02 Pub. Date: 2017-07-02
Image Number: 159209
Caption: You ever think maybe the world would've been better off if we'd lost the Revolutionary War? Seriously? You gonna say that right before the Fourth of July? It's just a thought experiment. You scared of thought experiments? C-Dog ain't scared of nothin'. All right. Let's say France never helped us win the revolution. We'd have lost. Britain probably still would've freed the slaves in 1833, so ... No civil war. No backlash to reconstruction, so ... no KKK. France wouldn't have drowned in debt. Their monarchy would've lasted longer, so ... no Napoleon. No Napoleon, no threat uniting German nationalists, so ... no World War I or II ... no Hitler. No Manifest Destiny, so no genocide of Native Americans. The UK wouldn't have turned to the Middle East and Africa to replace its lost holdings, so ... no carving up the Ottoman Empire, no chaos in the Middle East, and no ISIS. Bruh ... if you don't wanna loan me $20 for fireworks, just say so. We'd probably still have black licorice. No getting around that.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-19 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-19 Pub. Date: 2017-06-19
Image Number: 159388
Caption: Breaking news! The White House is urging Russia to intervene in the North Pole's civil war to secure the release of hostages held by elfin rebels. Click … Canadian homeowners are urged to check for bunny holes before mowing their laws, after a gruesome ... Click. After seven male senators in a row interrupted the witness' answers, Senator McCain scolded Sen. Kamala Harris for doing the exact same thing. Click. Gilligaaaan ... the Skipper tooooooo.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-08 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-08 Pub. Date: 2017-06-08
Image Number: 158828
Caption: Sir, we're not going to be flying over the North Pole. But isn't that the fastest way to Russia? Yes, but as you may know, the North Pole is a totalitarian dictatorship embroiled in a bloody civil war between state forces and elfin rebels. I don't follow the news. Anyway, my ticket says we transfer to a connecting flight there. Didn't you guys already know about this war? That's not why we're avoiding it. Santa International just melted. @#$% global warming.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-14 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-14 Pub. Date: 2017-05-14
Image Number: 157342
Caption: They got to him. I don't know how, but they got to him. Dr. Noodle. I should've seen it coming, though. After all, a guy who gets all butt-hurt about questions is the White House Spokesman in charge of answering questions. A guy who opposes paid leave and equal pay is in charge of the White House's responses to women's issues. A guy who doesn't believe in climate change is in charge of the EPA. A reputed bigot is in charge of enforcing civil rights. Trump even tried to put a guy whose company violated wage, hour and child labor laws in charge of the Department of Labor. I still don't think we know what Luke Skywalker meant by "it's time for the Jedi to end." I don't like Star Wars now that I know it's set in the Trump White House.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-26 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-26 Pub. Date: 2017-01-26
Image Number: 153704
Caption: I think the age of civility is over, Tyrone. Spare change. Will work 4 food. That's because you're totally biased. Very dishonest. A lightweight. Sad!!!
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-04 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-04 Pub. Date: 2016-12-04
Image Number: 151096
Caption: The other day, somebody in a red Trump hat actually to me to "Go back where you came from, n*****." I'm not surprised. That's been happening a lot. Trump's election encouraged white supremacists everywhere to come out of the shadows. They think it's their day again. Well this ain't Selma, an' I ain't Martin Luther the King. That fool found that out right quick, bruh. This ain't 1965. This here 2016. Fools better know "n*****s" be armed now. Oh god, Clyde! What did you do?! What did you do?! You had a gun?! No, I had an iPhone. I recorded the whole thing. Put it on Youtube. In just two hours, that fool got fired. Oh. Maybe we should all be packing iPhones for the next four years.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-30 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-30 Pub. Date: 2016-10-30
Image Number: 149667
Caption: What do you mean you're already dressed for the Halloween party? I'm going as a man who's been so crushed by the crumbling economy that he's sunk into a deep, dark chasm of despair … A man who feels so powerless and frustrated that he'll vote to overturn the rotten system, even if it means voting for a bigoted, thin-skinned, narcissistic chicken little who's always taken advantage of that system. Dios mio. Can't you tell? Make America Great Again.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-26 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-26 Pub. Date: 2016-06-26
Image Number: 144284
Caption: You want to know why I'm voting for Trump? Because I like the idea of him making America great again. Oh, me too. That way we could all build bomb shelters in our backyards. Women could wear corsets, and men could wear suits and fedoras all the time, even while jogging. BLM activist love of red velvet cake. Daily Nutjob. Hillary failed to stop Pearl Harbor. Goodnight Grandpa. Men could smoke and drink in the office like real men, and women could go back to doing whatever we say. Black war vets could be denied a lot of the benefits of the G.I. Bill and I wouldn't have to sit in the front of the bus anymore. Also confesses to having red "Little Red Riding Hood." Hillary rep'd NY on 9/11. Coincidence? Exoneration Nation. I once read that sarcasm is the lowest form of humor. I like the back of the bus. That way I could keep an eye our for all the Communists. Has aversion to pepper spray. Why? Hillary failed to stop destruction of Alderaan.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-20 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-20 Pub. Date: 2016-06-20
Image Number: 144897
Caption: I'm sick of people saying women earn 77 cents for every dollar a man makes. That's been debunked already. It's more like 95 cents. They earn only a nickel less when it's the exact same job. You know a lot of industries still won't hire women for the "exact same job"? I don't see what that has to do with anything.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-27 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-27 Pub. Date: 2016-05-27
Image Number: 143641
Caption: It's too bad the National Cartoonists Society's awards ceremony happens to be in Memphis tomorrow. Tennessee just passed a law allowing therapists to discriminate against lesbian, gay, and transgender people. So now these hundreds of cartoonists are going to be basically supporting a new Jim Crow state. Every hamburger will have segregation sauce. Every glass of booze will be a glass of separate-but-equal. Every Snickers they pull from the minibar will taste of nougaty injustice. I'm getting very hungry.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-01 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-01 Pub. Date: 2015-12-01
Image Number: 135924
Caption: Hey, Clyde, did you hear? Donald Trump's supporters beat and kicked a "Black Lives Matter" activist, and Trump condoned it. It's not quite "Brownshirt" level stuff yet, but it's certainly unamerican. Whachoo talking' bout, Big L? Civil war Jim Crow Mexican-American War ... Indians ... out-of-control cops ... gangs ... domesticated violence ... Beatin' down people you ain't like is as American as it get, bruh. I'm talking about Constitution-America, not America-America.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-30 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-30 Pub. Date: 2015-11-30
Image Number: 135923
Caption: I'm tired of people comparing Donald Trump to the fascist dictators of World War II. I mean sure, he still won't rule out forcing Muslims to register in a database. And sure, he condones it when his supporters beat and kick protesters. But what happened over there back then could NEVER happen here. Why couldn't it happen here? Because they were them and we're us.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-21 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-21 Pub. Date: 2015-09-21
Image Number: 132812
Caption: When my momma was a kid, the really old folks she knew were Spanish-American war vets and veterans of the Civil War. When we were kids, the really old folks we knew were World War I veterans. Now, the really old folks out there are World War II and Korean War veterans. Vietnam vets are getting pretty gray, too. Kinda makes you think, right? It make me think we fight too many @#$% wars.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-03 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-03 Pub. Date: 2015-08-03
Image Number: 130583
Caption: I don't understand why Bernie Sanders isn't polling better among minorities, Clyde. He's our best ally in the race. He's fought against mass incarceration and mandatory minimum sentences for decades. He wants undergraduate education to be free to students, like K-12. He's strong on voting rights ... Yeh, but bruh ... the man name is "Bernie." That's like Bert an' Ernie put together. A muppet don't have no business askin' for my vote. I can't believe your vote counts as much as mine.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-05 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-05 Pub. Date: 2015-02-05
Image Number: 122420
Caption: 1982. If you could be anyone in the whole wide world, who would it be? Anyone at all. I would be Harriet Tubman. Not only do I love railroads, but I'd get to be the hero who led the slaves out of Egypt. Only I'd have to be "Harry Tubman." That doesn't have the same ring to it. Dios mio. Or maybe I'd be Fonzie.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-03 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-03 Pub. Date: 2014-11-03
Image Number: 118495
Caption: Are you going to vote tomorrow, Clyde? What for? "What for?" How about for all the people who fought and suffered and died to win you the right to vote? They all on the ballot? That's not what I'm- Oh, never mind.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-28 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-28 Pub. Date: 2014-08-28
Image Number: 115531
Caption: C-Dog dont never dream 'cause dreamin' just make real life worse, Big L. Let's say I dream I can stand on a corner or walk across the street without some cop bothering me. Then I wake up, no matter where I go, there some cop lookin' out his car window at me, just waiting for a reason to "put me in my place." If I don't DREAM things can be better, then I ain't never disappointed. I know what you mean. Last night I dreamt you weren't depressing.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-29 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-29 Pub. Date: 2014-07-29
Image Number: 114481
Caption: Nonviolence only work in certain circumstances, Big L. What do you mean? Worked in the civil rights struggle 'cause we was just demanding what the constitution already said we should have. Worked in South Africa 'cause the oppressed had leaders who didn't recognize the "other side's" right to exist. Ain't NONE a' that goin' on in Palestine, bruh. STOP HOPE-BLOCKING!!!
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-11 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-11 Pub. Date: 2014-05-11
Image Number: 110574
Caption: No caption. (Lemont and Clyde wade in the ocear. Clyde carries Susan on his back and Lemont carries an NSA agent on his).
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-11 civil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-11 Pub. Date: 2014-03-11
Image Number: 108528
Caption: I'm going to Uganda next week to write an article about their harsh anti-gay laws. Can you watch my son for me while I'm gone? I wish I could, Lemont, but I have a mmble to do so I just can't. You just mumbled. You didnt say an actual thing. No, I dont think that happened.
     
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