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Candorville

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Result page:     (11 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-28 cannot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-28 Pub. Date: 2017-06-28
Image Number: 159710
Caption: Lemont's in Russia … President Putin asked that I answer all your journalist questions on his behalf. Get you to see we are not the boogeyman the American press has made us to be. If that fails, I am to poisoning you with rare gelsemium elefans death flower. Joking, joking, why you cannot take joke? Oh. Ok, then. Polonium-210 or throwing from balcony much more effective.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-14 cannot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-14 Pub. Date: 2011-10-14
Image Number: 66569
Caption: A scientific approach to the examination of phenomena must include the probability of probability. What? Do you realize that in the past two months, every single coin a passerby has tossed us has turned up heads? In actuality, I cannot remember a time, in all the long years we've been catching coins together, when they have NOT turned up heads. The probability that probability is a factor is probably improbable. Exactly what I was going to say. What're the odds of that?
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-04 cannot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-04 Pub. Date: 2011-09-04
Image Number: 64822
Caption: Couples Sessions Today. Dr. Noodle. I"ve been thinking about how you said men are nonverbal communicators. So, lately I've paying to Ebenezer's body language. Go on. His silence, his distance, his late nights at the office, all forced me to realize I cannot fulfill his needs. In opening the door to leave, he let in the light that illuminated all the roaches in our relationahip. Last week, I paused at the door before leaving with the kids, the dog and my luggage. His refusal to even look away from his baseball game so say goodbye told me he was hurting, and couldn't bear to watch. Ebenezer's courage in reaching out to me in nonverbally has made me fall in love with him all over again. Pate, please get me tix for tonight's game. Yes, Ben ... we can get back together. Wait ... we broke up?
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-28 cannot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-28 Pub. Date: 2010-12-28
Image Number: 55683
Caption: Little Billy? What the heck are you doing? I'm introducing a motion, or filing a habeas porpoise, or some other boring @#$%. No, I mean where's your Uncle Boozer, the lawyer? You said he'd be here at six! I am Uncle Boozer, and you cannot prove otherwise. Yes. Yes, I can. OBJECTION!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-04 cannot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-04 Pub. Date: 2010-11-04
Image Number: 53693
Caption: Hello, you've reached "The Law Guy." Hi, Little Billy? I’m calling to find out the status of my custody battle against Roxanne. May I speak with your Uncle Loafer? This is Loafer. No it isn't. I know the difference between the voice of a grown-up and the voice of a six-year-do. I am a grown-up. In fact, you've interrupted me doing my taxes, or watching "Price is Right," or some other boring @#$%. I'm starting to think I should've picked the second cheapest law firm. I am my Uncle and you cannot prove otherwise.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-28 cannot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-28 Pub. Date: 2010-08-28
Image Number: 51241
Caption: Hello wrong number, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. The person you're trying to reach cannot come to the phone because he or she does not live here. Please call back and inexplicably ask for the same wrong person a couple more times, hoping for a different answer. Beep. Tyrone? That you?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-11 cannot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-11 Pub. Date: 2009-03-11
Image Number: 30803
Caption: New Orleans, 1719. The prophecy I found sayeth that the vampire who gives birth shall walk in the sun… …Shall fear no flame, and shall at last know the taste of garlic twisty bread. Oh, and she will rule over mankind. We are vampires, girl! I will not hear such heresy! Besides... ...We all know you just want to be able to see yourself in the mirror. What? Cannot a manpire tell a wompire joke anymore? This P.C. fuss maketh me batty.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-07-09 cannot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-07-09 Pub. Date: 2008-07-09
Image Number: 24779
Caption: Comedian George Carlin visits Lemont's dream. Ok, so I'm dead and all the media talked about was my "seven words you can't say on tv" bit. Heh. Good stuff. No! Don't you wonder WHY that's all they talked about? Why they didn't even mention my criticism of them? Why they wanted you to believe Tim Russert's questions were "tough"? Heh. Do the "seven words" thing. They're feeding you (censored)!
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-03-28 cannot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-03-28 Pub. Date: 2008-03-28
Image Number: 22466
Caption: Political assassination is not a topic for satire, Nast. We cannot make light of such an unthinkable act. But my cartoons demanding better security for Abrahma Lincoln may prevent a horrible tragedy and spare the nation 100 years of misery and hate! Yes, yes. But on the other hand, a dozen or so readers may take offense. I see your dilemma. We're going with young Curtis' cartoon about a cow that loves lasagna.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-02-01 cannot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-02-01 Pub. Date: 2008-02-01
Image Number: 21416
Caption: This just in: Dennis Kucinich is challenging Hillary Clinton's and Mike Huckabee's victories in the Candorville primary. Kucinich says the results from Liebold's electronic voting machines cannot be trusted. Liebold argues that huge discrepancies between today's vote and earlier polls are meaningless. Kucinich disagrees, saying quote: "The election isn't until next week."
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-07-10 cannot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-07-19 Pub. Date: 2006-07-10
Image Number: 14170
Caption: June 29, 2006. In other news, the Supreme Court has ruled that the President cannot do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, even if he says we're engaged in an endless war. You ever had déjà vu? July 4, 1776. What ho! The Continental Congress hath decreed that the King cannot do whatsoever he wanteth, whenever he wanteth, even if he sayeth the empire is engaged in an endless war.
     
Result page:     (11 images)