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Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons

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61. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-09-17 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-09-18 Pub. Date: 2012-09-17
Image Number: 87671
Caption: So much of presidential races are about the personalities of the individual candidates. I don't vote for a party - I vote for the best man! But what we're really electing is a social network. Linked in. Willard Mitt Romney. Boston, MA area. Mitt has 53,271 connections. Batty casino magnate. Bush-era neocons. Wingnut thing tanks. Of course, speaking in these terms just isn't sexy. Campaign 2012. And now for the latest in the race between two extensive webs of people and institutions from which regulators, ambassadors and supreme court justices will be chosen. Many people will just never get it. I'm voting for whoever has the most beautiful children! I'm voting for whichever candidate likes pudding pops!
     
62. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-09-10 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-09-11 Pub. Date: 2012-09-10
Image Number: 87424
Caption: Real-Life Scenes from the Democratic National Convention. Pill pack emcee at Planned Parenthood rally. Obama. Women. Gulf War vet and Obama supporter arguing with Occupy protester. Pig snout. Gulf War. My view of the convention hall. Excuse me! The butts of a thousand journalists squeezed in my face. Typical Dank media person: Bags under eyes from 4 hours of sleep, commuting from South Carolina. Cellphone dead. Laptop dead. Feet sore from walking miles around security fences. British reporter who had just come from Tampa. (Gender-neutral silhouette). The people at the RNC were a bunch of tosses! We have racists too, but at least they keep it hidden!
     
63. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-09-03 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-09-04 Pub. Date: 2012-09-03
Image Number: 87151
Caption: RNC Lowlights. Bold new policy positions. I want to talk to you about love! Dog whistles galore! To do the really big stuff, you need an American! Unlike, say, a black guy from Kenya. Strategic sadism. Step 1: Ruthless obstruction of anything that might help the unemployed. Making Obama a one-term prez is our top priority! Step 2: See! Obama couldn't help you! Legacy-destroying chairs. What's that? You say I just screwed the pooch?
     
64. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-08-20 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-08-21 Pub. Date: 2012-08-20
Image Number: 86672
Caption: Sneak Preview of the Republican National Convention. Photo ops with Chick-Fil-A mascots. Marij = One cow + One bull. A performance by the Insane Gains Posse. A $100 million IRA - How does it work? It's a miracle. Buckyball Busts. Ronald Reagan. You can take my Buckyballs when you pry them out of my perforated colon! (Obama admin. wants to ban this toy that children tend to swallow.) Paul Ryan takes off his shirt for big-money donors. Ayn Randy Night. Log cabin republican.
     
65. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-08-01 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-08-01 Pub. Date: 2012-08-01
Image Number: 86650
Caption: WEALTHCARE. The right-wing Supreme Court justices were bitterly divided on health care. But there was one little-known ruling they all agreed on. We must protect the health of CORPORATE CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTIONS! Under the new Wealthcare law, all pre-existing conditions are covered. From bill tears ... To viral infections. Account Balance $4,712,893. ! Security Alert. All political money shall receive free checkups. I've lost my voice, I've been speaking on behalf of so many lobbyists! Happens all the time! To: Senator Doofus. One million & 00/100. "Better wealthcare means putting America's greatest ORATORS back to WORK! Hi-ho, hi-ho! It's off to Congress we go! To: Senator Doofus. One million & 00/100.
     
66. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-07-16 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-07-16 Pub. Date: 2012-07-16
Image Number: 86666
Caption: As The Mitt Spins. Some excuses we may hear yet … Why was I still listed as CEO of Bain after I said I'd retired? I OUTSOURCED myself, but Deepak kept putting my name on S.E.C. filings! ROMNEY. Believe in America. As for my offshore accounts, I did all that in an Ambien-induced FUGUE STATE. I also ate a quart of Rocky Road that night. Can't remember a thing! ROMNEY. Believe in America. You want to know about my OUTSIZE IRA? No mystery there. The account is in an obscure Balkan currency. It's worth 30 million DOLBLATS, not dollars! ROMNEY. Believe in America. Release my tax records? I'd LOVE to, but my wife is embarrassed by how much money we've donated to saving orphaned baby penguins. We will release some photos of the cutest ones soon! ROMNEY. Believe in America.
     
67. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-07-02 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-07-02 Pub. Date: 2012-07-02
Image Number: 86664
Caption: WEALTHCARE. The right-wing Supreme Court justices were bitterly divided on health care. But there was one little-known ruling they all agreed on. We must protect the health of CORPORATE CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTIONS! Under the new Wealthcare law, all pre-existing conditions are covered. From bill tears ... To viral infections. Account Balance $4,712,893. ! Security Alert. All political money shall receive free checkups. I've lost my voice, I've been speaking on behalf of so many lobbyists! Happens all the time! To: Senator Doofus. One million & 00/100. "Better wealthcare means putting America's greatest ORATORS back to WORK! Hi-ho, hi-ho! It's off to Congress we go! To: Senator Doofus. One million & 00/100.
     
68. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-06-04 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-06-04 Pub. Date: 2012-06-04
Image Number: 86660
Caption: The nation's most closely-watched senate race illustrates perfectly the political divide in this country. Here's a handy guide to help low-informed swing voters in Massachusetts! Elizabeth Warren. Badass Harvard professor, started consumer financial protection bureau. Amateur politician. Predicted collapse of the middle class. Would kick Wall Street's behind. Scott Brown. Former male model, extremely proud of his truck. Puts the "ick" in slick. Assisting collapse of the middle class. Kisses Wall Street's behind. Duh ... I still DUNNO!
     
69. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-05-14 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-05-14 Pub. Date: 2012-05-14
Image Number: 86658
Caption: This just in: In response to President Obama's support for gay marriage, Mitt Romney has just announced his support for BULLY RIGHTS. Live. I've had enough of this ANTI-BULLY RHETORIC! It's time for bullies to come out of the closet and be accepted for who they are. They should no linger have to hide their true selves by pretending to forget that they tormented effeminate classmates. For example. To that end, I wholeheartedly encourage BULLY MARRIAGE. The more bullies marry bullies - of the opposite sex, of course - the more BABY BULLIES there will be! Baby bullies? Do you want a swirly? Soon: Romney shows up at a BULLY PRIDE PARADE. WE'RE HERE! WE'RE SQUARE! GET USED TO IT!
     
70. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-02-20 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-02-20 Pub. Date: 2012-02-20
Image Number: 89016
Caption: Slowpoke. RNC insiders discuss voter dissatisfaction with the Republican presidential candidates. What we need is Romney's 1% economics plus Santorum's church lady routine, in an appealing package … But how? Two months later. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm pleased to announce a new candidate genetically-engineered from the DNA of Rick Santorum, Mitt Romney, Hank Williams Jr. and a Woolly Mammoth: Buck Hunter! No fat chicks. Tv ads are quickly released. Pow! Condom launcher. 99%. I love lassoin' up Occupy Wall Street protesters and usin' condoms for target practice! The GOP base is ecstatic. I could have a beer with Buck! I mean, he's some sort of mutant hybrid, but he's one of us! Next week: Scandal - Buck made using stem cells!
     
71. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-01-17 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-01-17 Pub. Date: 2012-01-17
Image Number: 89012
Caption: Slowpoke. Romney straps worker to roof of campaign bus. Breaking: Mitt Romney was spotted hauling a blue collar laborer on top of his campaign bus on the recent drive from New Hampshire to South Carolina. Conservative. Businessman. Leader. Romney. Believe in America. Romney says he wanted to bring "an ordinary American" with him on the campaign trail, but did not have room inside the vehicle. I have a large family, you know. It was either him or Tagg! Diner. Somewhere in Pennsylvania, the worker reportedly soiled himself, and Romney responded. Get me the @#*! offa here! Sploosh! Don't worry! At Bain, we specialized in hosing employees! Romney flatly denies accusations that he's hopelessly out of touch and heartless. Help! That's just the politics of envy. Like so many complainers, this guy's getting a free ride!
     
72. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-01-02 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-01-02 Pub. Date: 2012-01-02
Image Number: 89011
Caption: Slowpoke. 2012: A Mad Lib Odyssey. (Presidential candidate) will commit a gaffe during a campaign stop at a deep-fried (dessert) eatery in (rust belt state). Someone who refuses whipped cream on fried fudge is clearly out of touch with the people! (Rabidly anti-gay political figure) will be caught in a (luxury automobile) with a male escort named (beloved tv action hero). I don't know how I wound up in that car, but I do know marriage equals one man and one woman! You will intimately get to know the life story of an Olympic athlete who was run over by a (large farm equipment) at age three, and overcame a harrowing addiction to (animal tranquilizer) to become a champion at (sport you haven't thought about since the last Olympics). Wheaties. Hammer throw champ. After a brutal election cycle dominated by wildly inaccurate attack ads from (shadowy superpac), (conventional wisdom spewer) will declare "the system worked." No problems here!
     
73. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-01-01 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-01-01 Pub. Date: 2012-01-01
Image Number: 86595
Caption: Slowpoke. The Color of Welfare. From listening to people like Newt, you'd never know that more whites receive food stamps than blacks. … The African-American community should demand paychecks and not be satisfied with food stamps. (Actual quote.) Funny how republicans don't seem to single out the rural whites getting "handouts." You folks need to stop collecting other people's money and get a job! Things would be certainly be different if they did. There would have been more bombings in Oklahoma City, but Timothy McVeigh stopped to collect his welfare check! Ron Paul looks like a scrawny backwoods METHHEAD!* Crox News. *based on statements made about blacks my Ron Paul's newsletter and Brent Bozell. And what's with all the poor hicks owning HUGE TRUCKS? It's time to get these Dodge Ram-driving welfare kings off the government teat! Crox News.
     
74. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-12-27 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-12-27 Pub. Date: 2011-12-27
Image Number: 89010
Caption: Slowpoke. Makin' It with Mitt. Hi there! I'm Mitt Romney, and I'm a highly successful guy! You too can follow my inspiring, all-American path … if you don't listen to that Soviet-style cheese-rationer Obama! You see, Obama wants to redistribute wealth. That is absolutely not what we did at my leveraged-buyout firm! Bain Capital. Executives. Savings from laid-off workers. we hoovered wealth. Very different. Obama also wants to punish effort. Why, in the 13 years since I've retired from Bain and continued to collect tens of millions, it's taken a lot of effort to keep track of it all! Foom! Money button. Yes, Obama opposed a merit-based society. How dare he think my sons don't merit their $100 million trust.* *True!
     
75. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-23 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-23 Pub. Date: 2011-11-23
Image Number: 89006
Caption: Slowpoke. The Free Speech Dimension. Going a step further in their crackdown on Occupy Wall Street protesters, Oakland police impose a new rule. From now on, protesters must limit their activities to the fourth dimension or higher. "Our new "Occu-Portal (tm) sends them to a place where they no longer impede traffic, pedestrians, or anyone's field of vision." Step into the portal or you're under arrest! I am the 99%. Activists disappear, only occasionally intersecting with the third dimension. Free the wage slaves. ? Meanwhile, in Washington ... So, I'll contribute to your campaign, senator, if you'll just - Do you hear chanting? Need not greed!
     
76. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-16 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-16 Pub. Date: 2011-11-16
Image Number: 89019
Caption: Slowpoke … And the U.N. has estimated that the planet's 7 billionth person will be born right about … now! Population boom! Wait - this just in! The 7 billionth person-to-be has just issued a statement! NNN. Nattering Noggins News. Speaking from an undisclosed gestation location, she says: "Even a pre-conscious proto-human such as myself knows your world is seriously fubared." Breaking: Angry baby. "I'm not even born yet, and I already have 300 industrial chemicals in my bloodstream, you piggish dolts." "There still probably won't be any jobs two decades from now." Furious fetus! "And if I do land some soul-sucking crap work, all the wealth I create will go to some selfish dipstick making 200 times more than me." "Honestly, why bother? Count me out! Or in, as the case may be. Signed, Baby 7B. Fumin' pre-human. In other news, presidential candidate Herman Cain has suggested that the wealthiest 1% be referred to as "your overlords."
     
77. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-09-26 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-09-26 Pub. Date: 2011-09-26
Image Number: 89294
Caption: Slowpoke. Some members of the working class just can't bring themselves to sympathize with Wisconsin's public employees. Why should you get to negotiate with your boss? I don’t get to bargain with mine! Welcome to the real world! Save Workers' Rights. It seems they want everyone's job to suck as much as theirs. If my boss catches me taking a bathroom break without clocking out, he dunks my head in the toilet and gives me a swirly. That's just how life is, whiny union babies! Those spoiled union brats, always pushing for things like safety standards! If I had any arms left, I'd punch 'em in the nose! Mightyfast Meatpacking. Meanwhile ... Ah, they've turned against each other now. Excellent. Time to launch the "Unions Hate You" ad campaign. Koch Industries.
     
78. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-08-22 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-08-22 Pub. Date: 2011-08-22
Image Number: 89284
Caption: Slowpoke. The supreme court may soon strike down election laws that give public financing to poorer candidates - on the grounds that it infringes on the free speech of rich candidates. The government is penalizing the privately-financed candidate for engaging in unfettered political expression! Makes sense to me! That's right: Giving more speech to the poor means you're taking speech from the rich. Coming soon: Free speech debates! People begin holding up signs showing their annual income before speaking. Looks like I'll be doing the talking here! 21,000. 475,000. And so ... Notice: The last panel of this cartoon will not be shown, so as not to infringe on the First Amendment rights of Heritage Foundation cartoonist Albertus "Champ" Waddsworth IV.
     
79. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-07-23 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-07-23 Pub. Date: 2011-07-23
Image Number: 89293
Caption: Slowpoke. Tax Evasion Funnies. Companies are demanding a "tax holiday" to bring money back from overseas at dirt-cheap rates. Win America. That money is trapped offshore. We mustn't penalize businesses for bringing it home! Wag wag wag wag wag. (Actual Campaign.) Yes, this memorial day, let us not forget the tragic plight of our men in green stuck in foreign hellholes. I'm just dreaming of the day when I can feel the soft leather interior of an executive's wallet again. Welcome to The Cayman Islands. To that end, hundreds of corporate lobbyists will be holding a motorcycle rally in Washington, DC. Rolling Plunder. POW*MIA You are not forgotten. Prisoners of Washington - Money in Antilles. Keep the promise. Inspired by these efforts, small-time money launderers start holding their own vigils. I've got 50 grand trapped in my freezer! It's time to set it free!
     
80. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-05-07 campaign 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-05-07 Pub. Date: 2011-05-07
Image Number: 89290
Caption: Slowpoke. The President's advisers plot election strategy. Here's how we win in 2012: We pick a message that appeals to Democrats, Republicans, Tea Partiers, Progressives, Libertarians, LaRouchies, Flat-Earthers, and Neo-Primitive Anarchists. Clinton triangulated. We're going to OCTANGULATE. Researchers manage to find a point of octopartisan agreement. My fellow Americans, no "star wars" prequels were made during my first term, and none will be made during my second! Mainstream news outlets applaud the non-controversial stance. TIME. Bringing the nation together. Consensus at last. Back at Campaign HQ ... How are we doing? Well, unemployment is still incredibly high, and the country's infrastructure is falling apart, but your poll numbers are holding steady. So we're set to roll out the pro-puppy message next week.
     
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