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Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons

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41. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-07-29 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-07-29 Pub. Date: 2013-07-29
Image Number: 99937
Caption: The Right To Bear Bags. And now a word from the plastics industry: You may have heard some trash talk lately about plastic shopping bags. Some cities have even banned them! Time for some facts. "So plastic bags gum up recycling machinery, and New York City alone dumps 100,000 tons of them into landfills each year." "That is nothing compared to your right to carry individually-wrapped slices of American cheese in a plastic package in a plastic bag." Krapft Singles. "Why, if the polymer police get their way, this gorgeous living work of art some wrongly call the 'Pacific Garbage Patch' might not exist for out grandchildren!" Any new taxes on disposable sacks, and we're throwing re-usable totes into the Boston Harbor! Plastic Party Patriots. "Plastic Bags: Our Last Line of Defense Against Tyranny!"
     
42. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-07-15 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-07-15 Pub. Date: 2013-07-15
Image Number: 99391
Caption: An ugly decision. The Iowa Supreme Court has reaffirmed its ruling that a male boss can fire a female employee for being too attractive. It's not about gender. It's about saving this man's marriage! Seven crusty dudes. Ladies of Iowa! Worried that you'll be fired for being a looker? You need this! Iowa Worker Protection Kit. Do you have the Jenkins Files? Right here, sir! If you are fired, call the hotline. Union for the unemployably hot. Oh, he saw you without the disguise? I'm sorry. Let me put you on babe stamps. 1-800-Too-Foxy. Unfortunately, overturning the decision will be an uphill battle. As all of us have been distracted by picturing the plaintiff's lawyer naked, we'll have to declare a mistrial.
     
43. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-06-17 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-06-17 Pub. Date: 2013-06-17
Image Number: 98368
Caption: Surveillance Bait. National Security Agency. "We see what you did there." We understand people are angry about our data collection methods. So we're changing the way we do things. Privacy now! Introducing a new company: SPOOKLE. Spookle. Offering everything from a search engine to a lightning fast browser! Upload your adorable cat videos - or calls for a holy war - to SNOOPTUBE! SnoopTube. Sign up for a free spookmail account! Snooptube, that sounds sketch - hey, check out this video of a rapping penguin! Yeah, I don't trust them not to - wow, this browser is really fast! It at first you don't succeed, spy spy again!
     
44. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-03-04 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-03-05 Pub. Date: 2013-03-04
Image Number: 94317
Caption: A few years ago, a company called Twitter took off at south by southwest. Here's a sneak preview of … THIS YEAR'S HOT STARTUPS! Rr - This app eliminates the "e" from words that end in "er" to make them coolr. Works on "-or" too! Jennifr, I left my dinnr in the refrigeratr. The Mobile Hattr - Find yourself walking around town needing a lid? Ping the Hattr! A roving chapeau dealer will come to your rescue. 1. 2. Go-Gettr - This app fulfills the promise of all other apps by transforming you from a lazy, disorganized slob into an efficient superhuman with the swipe of a finger! (Note: Still in beta.) Before. After. CEO. And the hottest startup of them all: Gadget Spa. They'll take your fave device on a much-needed vacation so it's relaxed and ready for 24/7 use! Screen-revitalizing mud mask.
     
45. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-01-21 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-01-22 Pub. Date: 2013-01-21
Image Number: 92735
Caption: Lance's Harsh Landing. What if Lance Armstrong's troubles forced him to live like the rest of us? I don't care how fast you can bike up the Pyrenees - How fast can you process customer service calls? I'm sorry, sir, but with your history of drug use, I'm afraid we can't offer you health insurance. Well, without any sponsorships, it looks like you can only afford this used Schwinn fixie. On the bright side, you'll be a total hipster! Guess it's back to just watching Oprah on tv like everybody else ...
     
46. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-01-14 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-01-15 Pub. Date: 2013-01-14
Image Number: 92395
Caption: Bright Ideas from Wayne LaPierre. I'm from the NRA and I'm here to help! Call me crazy, but I've got another idea that just might work! "First, let's find all the lonely, disturbed teens out there and arm them." Hey kid, aren't you sick of all the wedgies, swirlies and insults? Have a Bushmaster! "Won't be long until mass carnage is the NORM." And today there were shootings at McKinley High, Central Middle School and Watkins Prep. News 7. Up next: weather! "The bad guys won't be so special anymore." I just shot 20 people, and I can't get my manifesto published ANYWHERE! Whatever. Pass the nuts. "Until one day, NOT blowing away a crowd makes headlines." Herald-Press Tribune. MAN HOLDS FIRE. "He always seemed like such a violent boy." -Neighbor. "And the shooting spree fad will end." I'd kill my classmates, but that would be SO 2013. You're welcome!
     
47. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-06-01 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-06-01 Pub. Date: 2012-06-01
Image Number: 86621
Caption: Slowpoke. Consumer Comix Presents LET THEM EAT SLIME. Hi there! I'm here from the meat industry to discuss our filler product made from connective tissue and scraps treated with ammonia. Some call it "pink slime." We prefer "lean beef trimmings."* *Actual term. Don't think of it as incredibly low-grade cow-related by-product. Think of it a "what's for lunch" - if you're eating USDA SCHOOL LUNCHES, that is! They're about to buy 7 million pounds of the stuff, God bless 'em! Don't worry! A George Bush Sr. - appointed USDA officer - and former president of the National Cattlemen's Association - once deem it safe. So relax ... And get our new cookbook! The Institute For Increasingly Abstract Notions of Meat presents The Scrappy Chef. Cooking With "Pink Gold." Your family will love these classic dishes from Tendon Tacos to Ligament Lasagna to my personal favorite, Grandma's Ammonia-Treated Meat-Like Balls! Mmm-mmm!
     
48. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-21 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-21 Pub. Date: 2011-11-21
Image Number: 89610
Caption: Slowpoke. Violent spin. A Palin aide claims that a map targeting democrats - including the recently-shot Gabrielle Giffords - doesn't who rifle sigh crosshairs, but surveyor sembols. Betha didn’t know I've got a thing for cartomagraphy! Clearly we are mistaken to erad violence into right-wing rhetoric! When senate candidate Sharron Angle (R - NV) called for "second amendment remedies" ... I mean we should all buy guns to help support the economy! It'll help small businesses and steelworkers! When REp. Michele Bachmann (R - MN) called for voters to be "armed and dangerous" over carbon credits ... I simply wanted them to have arms so they could call their elected officials in Washington! Together, we can put the global warming hoax in danger! When Giffords' tea party opponent ran an ad saying "Get on target for victory in November - Help remove Gabrielle Giffords from office - shoot a fully automatic M-16 with Jesse Kelly" ... I just wanted to improve peoples. hand-eye coordination at the voting booth! Some of these ballots are so confusing, you need to be an expert marksman!
     
49. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-07 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-07 Pub. Date: 2011-11-07
Image Number: 89608
Caption: Slowpoke. I hate the government! It never helps the little people - Only the Walls Street bankers! Has it occurred to you that any time the government tries to help ordinary Americans or regulate Wall Street, you call it tyrannical? Grr … You and your fancy smart talk! Don't tread on me! Actually, I don't have to ... AIG. Bank of America. Monsanto. Pharma. AHIP. Goldman Sachs.
     
50. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-10-09 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-10-09 Pub. Date: 2011-10-09
Image Number: 89000
Caption: Slowpoke. Welcome back to Politics 101 with Professor Perkins. Today we'll be discussing the word "entitlements." This is an actual billboard spotted in Washington State. Should people collecting entitlements be allowed to vote? Note the two possible meanings of "entitlement." Entitlement programs. Your hard work is rewarded later. Sense of entitlement. Spoiled brat who thinks the world owes them something. Calling Social Security an entitlement invites this confusion. What is we called babies entitlements? Doctor, where's my son? Who do you think you are. The queen mother? Just because you gave birth to him doesn't mean your entitled to keep him! Next week: Should people who don't understand entitlements be allowed to vote?
     
51. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-09-12 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-09-12 Pub. Date: 2011-09-12
Image Number: 89282
Caption: Slowpoke. Sarah Palin and others like to call the Wisconsin teachers' union "thugs." Yes, these edu-gangsters are a menace to society, with their grammatically-correct threats … Would you like a piece of this? Detention slip. Even worse, sometimes they use "Godfather"-inspired tactics to send a message to their enemies. Aaaaah! Biology lab frog in a pool of formaldehyde. In some cases, entire classrooms are merely fronts for black-market dealing. I've got 1,000 bootleg copies of "The Very Hungry Caterpillar". Shh ... Only they know what secrets lie buried in the playground. What happened here, Miss Sprinkle? Oh, don't you worry about it!
     
52. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-09-05 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-09-05 Pub. Date: 2011-09-05
Image Number: 89280
Caption: Slowpoke. Dictator Do's and Don'ts. Are you a dictator facing a popular democratic uprising? Here's some helpful advice. Don't get too melodramatic. Maggots shall feast on your ocular jelly! Do make celebrity cameos. Dancing with the Tyrants. That Mubarak sure can Watusi. But don't be ridiculous. In all your decades of bloodshed and turmoil, what was your worst moment? When Kanye West insulted me. Today. Do write a revisionist autobiography. Muammar Perqins. Call me "Colonel Democracy". Who knows - Maybe they'll name an airport after you.
     
53. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-06-18 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-06-18 Pub. Date: 2011-06-18
Image Number: 89287
Caption: Slowpoke. The Mental Stimulus Plan. I'm pleased to announce a bipartisan plan to address unemployment. We can't tell you what it is, but I promise many of you will soon be happier. That night during "Celebrity Apprentice." You are feeling verrrry sleepy and able to pay your bills. On the count of three, you will awaken knowing you have a deeply satisfying job. 1 ... 2 ... 3! The unemployment rate plummets as jobless claims cease. Hold my calls - I've got a meeting with Bono. Actual Reality. Obama's poll numbers soar ... Or so he believes. My fellow Americans ... He thinks he's still President! He has no idea the supreme court ended his term ad installed Michelle Bachmann.
     
54. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-01-01 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-01-01 Pub. Date: 2011-01-01
Image Number: 86599
Caption: Slowpoke. GOProeducts tm. With tennis star Maria Sharapova launching her own candy called "Sugarpova," what brands can we expect from the stars of the GOP? Paul Ryan's Suckers for Suckers. They look like a serious lollipop, bit unwrap them and there's nothing there! Big Mitt Chew. The bubble gum that ties your tongue in knots! Heawth insuwanth ... Mmmmf ... Mandathes ... Big Mitt Chew. Newt Loops. Just follow my nose ... Which way the political wind blows! So sweet, you want to cheat on your diet ... for America! Pauly Belly. Civil rights act-free jellybeans from Ron and Rand Paul. Separate bit equal black bean jar.
     
55. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-09-19 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-09-19 Pub. Date: 2010-09-19
Image Number: 89896
Caption: Slowpoke. In a parallel universe, and obscure preacher in Florida declares his support for and Islamic Center in Lower Manhattan. Islam and Christianity both have Abrahamic roots. What we need is greater interfaith dialogue, not hatred. He immediate dominates the cable news cycle. Breaking: Reasonable Religious Leader Calls For Tolerance. Up next: Outburst of non-inflammatory rhetoric. On the streets of Pakistan, confusion breaks out. DIE, AMERICAN SCU - Wait, what did he say? It was something not stupid! I do not know how to respond! And somewhere in America, a lone nut yells. HEY, I'M DOING SOME REALLY OFFENSIVE STUFF OVER HERE! Anyone listening? Hello?
     
56. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-04-12 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-04-12 Pub. Date: 2010-04-12
Image Number: 90115
Caption: Slowpoke. With "Iron Chef," "Chopped," and now "Food Wars," it seemed cooking shows are becoming more extreme. Coming soon to a cable channel near you … KILLER KITCHEN. THWACK! Contestants must create culinary masterpieces while flinging cooking implements at the opposing team. JULIENNED! The winning chef gets to shred the loser into a salad topping. Now THAT'S what I call a CHEF SALAD! Dish of the Dead. More brains! I'm not really tasting the baby flesh. Judges. Nuclear Noshin'. Who can prepare the best post-apocalyptic feast? And today's ingredients are ... Radioactive beetles and vaporized cow dust.
     
57. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-03-08 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-03-08 Pub. Date: 2010-03-08
Image Number: 90485
Caption: Skowpoke. World's Scientists Flummoxed by Snowstorm. This just in! A recent snowstorm has climate scientists baffled! Totally Breaking News: Global Warming - NOT! What can I say? I didn’t see this one coming at all. A SNOWSTORM! Can't argue with that. Dr. James Hansen, NASA. "The intergovernmental panel on climate change has called an emergency session to address the issue." Greetings, fellow scientists! SNOW? WTF?! How could this happen? A lifetime of research - ruined! Order, order! "Meanwhile, other climatologists are taking the news in stride." Come July, you will all forget the snow and believe our hoax again! BWAH HA-HA! Next week: Rain in Europe disproves drought in Africa!
     
58. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-01-01 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-01-01 Pub. Date: 2010-01-01
Image Number: 86602
Caption: Slowpoke. Snack Gentrification. It happened to doughnuts and hot dogs. Now the humble cupcake has been reborn as a hip urban delicacy. Before: Kiddie food. After: Call of the Cupcake Boutiques Confectionary. Foie Gras Lollipop - Schnapps Cakes are here! How will the upscale junk food trend continue? Alt-country pork rinds. Acoustic singer-songwriters start selling puffed pig skin on the side, leading to widespread acceptance among the literati. Bonnie Prince Billy tm Pork Rinds. Corn nut connoisseurship. Experts can tell what corn variety a nut comes from by it's bouquet. Today we're trying some jubilee supersweet, country gentleman, and extra-tender 272Q. That's jubilee all right! Sniff! The craft peep movement. The Easter treat goes year-round, as local artisans produce signature batches of micropeeps. Dirk Jenkins, Peepmaster, and his creations. "The People's Peep." "Cyclopeep."
     
59. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-01-01 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-01-01 Pub. Date: 2010-01-01
Image Number: 86643
Caption: Slowpoke. Millions of Americans are demanding their FREEDOM TO BE SCREWED. Health care reform threatens out way of life! If the' government usurps my right to crushing medical bills, there'll be HELL TO PAY! Militias spring into action. Troops, this act of consumer protection will not stand. Give me denial of pre-existing conditions of GIVE ME DEATH! Please Tread On Me. ... And secession follows! Today, Idaho, Utah, Arizona and the South declared independence from the U.S. claiming "it is our constitutional right to be reamed by corporations six ways from Sunday," the new confederacy calls itself "THE F*@K ME STATES." Civil War. Bit the rebellion soon fragments. Wait a minute. Now that we're the leaders of the F*@K ME STATES, that makes us ... A GOVERNMENT! Holy crap! Let us hope the citizens take up arms against us!
     
60. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-12-28 call 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-12-28 Pub. Date: 2009-12-28
Image Number: 90480
Caption: Slowpoke. Decade of Doom. Sometime in 1999. Oh yeah, you should totally see "The Blair Witch Project." Oasis. Hark! I am here to warn you about the future! The World Trade Center will soon be destroyed by airplanes. The '00s are coming! Endless war will ensue and the economy will collapse! Circuit City and Linens-N-Things stores will no longer exist! A beauty queen from Alaska will come close to running the world! People will spend their days doing something called Tweeting! The '00s are coming! But we WILL elect a black President ... Who is that guy? Just some whackjob! Oasis.
     
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