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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-10-17 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-10-17 Pub. Date: 2017-10-17
Image Number: 164071
Caption: Mike Pence Spots Some People Kneeling! Oh, Dear! But dear! They might be praying! Praying for what? Puerto Rico? We can't take that chance!
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-10-03 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-10-03 Pub. Date: 2017-10-03
Image Number: 163535
Caption: The Search is on for Tom Price Replacement. C'mon, we've got binders of sadistic doctors. Look harder! But we need someone who has no regard for the taxpayer' loves or their money. Most of these doctors are normal decent people … What is wrong with them? I think we have to face it. We may never find another Tom Price. Drat the luck ... Not as easy as you think ... Wait a minute ... Here's a possibility. Males, creepy, really, no really, very. Do not re-cycle.
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-09-22 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-09-22 Pub. Date: 2017-09-22
Image Number: 163249
Caption: The West thing they can starve North Koreans into submission. And possibly millions of North Koreans may starve to death. But our enemies overlook one important fact. I won't starve.
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-09-06 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-09-06 Pub. Date: 2017-09-06
Image Number: 162553
Caption: To Rebuild or Not to Rebuild. What do you think, honey? The weather says it's gonna rain some more. That there is nothin' but fake news. I say we stay here. Texas.
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-08-24 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-08-24 Pub. Date: 2017-08-24
Image Number: 162077
Caption: History Doesn't Repeat Itself, But It Rhymes.* Historic marker. Underground Railroad. Slaves from the south used this route fleeing to Canada. Later … undocumented workers used this route fleeing to Canada. *Attributed to Mark Twain.
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-07-20 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-07-20 Pub. Date: 2017-07-20
Image Number: 160707
Caption: Russian Lawyer Lady Natalia Veselnitskaya, Former Trump Whisperer, Questioned by Vladimir Putin. Oh, Great One, we have misjudged the Americans. They are crazy but not stupid.
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-06-19 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-06-19 Pub. Date: 2017-06-19
Image Number: 159611
Caption: What's in the GOP Health Care Bill.. Well, we can't tell you what's in the bill, but you get the idea … Oxygen.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-06-18 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-06-18 Pub. Date: 2017-06-18
Image Number: 159610
Caption: President's Lawyer Gets a Lawyer and then … Well, as the president's lawyer … Good, but as your lawyer I would advise … Naturally as the president's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer I have to add to that … And as your lawyer, I must caution … Looking at the situation as the presidents lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer ... Well, as your lawyer and therefore the president's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer ... I must say as the president's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's ... And as the president's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer. Run it by legal. Maybe. Hmm ... What d'you think?
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-06-15 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-06-15 Pub. Date: 2017-06-15
Image Number: 159414
Caption: All Hail! Recent Trump Cabinet Meeting. Oink! Hosannas and praise unto … eh .. .well, I'll tell you later. What an honor, to be actually making more money! All honor to me … I can't tell you what an honor it is actually, I can't tell you … A blessing and an honor ... all in one! What an honor! What? Me worry? Back to New York! I don't remember ever being so honored. I don't remember anything ... Well, the three best things about Trump are ... I. Um ... Ooops! The best father-in-law a boy could have! 4 sale. Children of America, help is on the way ... if you have the money. What an honor! I have never been so honored! I'm not a doctor, well actually I am but ... Dad ... maybe you can honor us with a tweet. Now, hold still ... President of ...
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-05-26 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-05-26 Pub. Date: 2017-05-26
Image Number: 158591
Caption: Housing Secretary Ben Carson Says Poverty is a "State of Mind". But ma … the reason we don't have any money is 'cause you think we don't have any money …
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-04-23 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-04-23 Pub. Date: 2017-04-23
Image Number: 157447
Caption: Where's the Fleet? Massage oils. Alternate massage oils. Sorry dear, but I have to manage the Navy, don't I? Realistic destroyer. Realistic. Navy. Collect them all. Carrier. T.
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-07 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-07 Pub. Date: 2017-03-07
Image Number: 155562
Caption: There's Your Proof! Ah! Hah!* *Former President Obama observed tapping the phone of President Trump, just as bold as brass! Mr. Obama was moonlighting for Con Ed, and was bad (or sick) at the time. But you want proof? Here it is. In cartoon form, drawn from eyewitness reports.
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-01-28 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-01-28 Pub. Date: 2017-01-28
Image Number: 154123
Caption: Señor Spicer Explains About the Wall. Ok, who will pay for the wall? Ok, that will be the Mexican government. Ok, not, actually - there will be some sort of tax. Well, not exactly a tax, but more like a fee. Ok, not a fee, but a sort of thing at the border. Ok, not exactly a thing, but sort of a concept. Actually an idea, right, well, and idea that is based on a whatchamacallit so that we get some money somewhere and nobody notices ... Feliz Na Idad.
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-01-02 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-01-02 Pub. Date: 2017-01-02
Image Number: 153023
Caption: Putin Says He Will Not Expel 35 American Diplomats. But Mr. President, we must punish these Americans. They are still here, aren't they? Oooh, he is so smart! Da. Nyet.
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-12-22 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-12-22 Pub. Date: 2016-12-22
Image Number: 152614
Caption: Mr. Trump's Friends Like the Swamp. Drain the swamp? What are you talking about? We like the swamp … Did I say drain the swamp? Did I say that? Ok, I did say it … but I didn't mean it. I just said it. I thought I heard you say it. See? You thought you heard him say it. You thought ... Who cares? What's he saying now?
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-12-18 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-12-18 Pub. Date: 2016-12-18
Image Number: 152522
Caption: History doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes. Mark Twain.
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-11-22 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-11-22 Pub. Date: 2016-11-22
Image Number: 151489
Caption: Ivanka and Jared Kushner, Adviser to Presidents. Look, darling, the last print issue of the New York Observer, your newspaper you paid ten million dollars for. Ha-ha! I'd love to see it, but I must go advise the president on how to manage the economy. NY Observer. Fail ... Gov't for Dummies. The Art of the Deal.
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-11-09 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-11-09 Pub. Date: 2016-11-09
Image Number: 150967
Caption: Ours was not a campaign but an incredible great movement. Donald Trump. November 9, 2016. Employees must wash hands.
     
20. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-10-28 but 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-10-28 Pub. Date: 2016-10-28
Image Number: 150423
Caption: Pentagon Demands Signing Bonuses Back From Soldiers After they Return From War Zone. Well, yes, it was our mistake. But think how much more patriotic you look to the folks back home. Pento.
     
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