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Candorville

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-13 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-13 Pub. Date: 2018-09-13
Image Number: 173985
Caption: Lemont … I've been thinking about your theory that The Eye of Africa is actually the lost city of Atlantis. I checked it out on Google Earth. Not only is it exactly as Plato described it, but all the sand in the Sahara to its west looks like it was pushed toward Atlantis by some ancient cataclysm. And that could've been the impassable barrier of mud he mentioned that cut voyagers off from the sea. Problem is, the whole thing is 485 meters above sea level. Details.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-11 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-11 Pub. Date: 2018-09-11
Image Number: 173983
Caption: Bus is late. Fake news. What? Have you interviewed the bus dispatcher? Have you been here all day? It's just as likely the bus has been running early all day. And so we missed it. But I guess that wouldn't fit in with your bus is late narrative. Not everything in this country has to be an argument. Yes it does!
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-10 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-10 Pub. Date: 2018-09-10
Image Number: 173982
Caption: Did you know they've probably found the advanced, lost city of Atlantis, Susan? They found it decades ago in the Sahara Desert. They call it The Eye of Africa. It fits almost every description Plato wrote: Equidistant, concentric rings of land and what probably used to be water ... mountains to the north showing evidence of ancient rivers, etc. You'd think an army of archeologists would've gone there by now to explore ... but nope. Nothing. I still don't think it's true that They don't want to admit Africa ever created anything. Do you have any idea how many people insist aliens must've built the pyramids.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-07 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-07 Pub. Date: 2018-09-07
Image Number: 173883
Caption: I read that news article you wrote comparing the president to a mafia boss. You mean my humor column? It was totally inaccurate. Yes, the president called Cohen his fixer. And yes, he keeps praising stooges who don't flip on him. But he never gave Jared Kushner the title of patsy. He never threatened to make Mueller's career sleep with the fishes. And he does not celebrate signing every executive order by yelling bada-bing! (Sigh) you always know someone has no argument when he gets extra-literal about everything. A person can't get literal. A person's interpretation does that. Don't you know anything?
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-05 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-05 Pub. Date: 2018-09-05
Image Number: 173881
Caption: .I don't know if I ever tol' you but … I used to cut Mr. T's hair back in the day. I don't brag about it much, but I'm the one who came up with his iconic hairstyle. Oh, he wasn't happy about it at first. But I said to Mr. T … Mr T? What some people call an accident, a wise man would call an opportunity ... Let me look in the mirror for a second. The mirrors are currently out of order.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-03 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-03 Pub. Date: 2018-09-03
Image Number: 173879
Caption: I been thinkin' 'bout John McCain, bruh. How the whole country got together to worship him when he died. When he got captured, he tool it like nobody else alive prolly coulda taken it. Can't take that away from him. But he was wrong about a lot. He supported wars, invasions an' arms sales that got a lot of people slaughtered ... but then, so did America. An' that's why people love him. 'Cause if he still cool, that mean the rest of us still cool too. I think it was because of his sense of humor.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-30 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-30 Pub. Date: 2018-08-30
Image Number: 173791
Caption: I can't get anything done at all until I've had my morning coffees. I think I may have a problem. The first step is admitting you've got a problem, Susan. I'm proud of you. Now that you know, you can do something about it. You can probably go into rehab for this sort of thing, with all the other junkies and addicts. I just meant I think I'm out of coffee. Junkies isn't politically correct, but if Trump can be blunt, so can I.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-27 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-27 Pub. Date: 2018-08-27
Image Number: 173788
Caption: Now that the airduct … or whatever it was … had led me back to 2018 … I was moments away from finally interviewing a toddler in one of Trump's internment camps. I could hear him, just around the corner. He was sobbing. He was hysterical. He was calling out for his mother. He was just around the corner ... But so were the armed guards. By the time I got the glue, the fake beard and the janitor disguise, the child's cries had stopped. Wait ... back up. I almost blew my cover when I lost control of the spinny-mop thing and it dragged me down the hall.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-26 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-26 Pub. Date: 2018-08-26
Image Number: 173498
Caption: What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Nothing. That's the problem. I'm not troubled or preoccupied or traumatized by anything. I'm satisfied with where I am in life. I'm single, but I'm good with that. I crave new things, but all my apps keep upgrading themselves every week, so I feel fulfilled. I can't think of a single thing I'm unhappy about. And that makes me sad ... because you're afraid this means you aren't introspective enough? Nah. I've never even thought about whether I'm introspective enough.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-25 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-25 Pub. Date: 2018-08-25
Image Number: 173659
Caption: Now that the air duct … or whatever it was … had led me back to 2018 … I was moments away from finally interviewing a child in one of Mr. Trump's internment camps. I could hear him, just around the corner. I heard him crying out for mama! over and over.. I had no idea what condition he would be in. But nothing I imagined could prepare me for what I would see. His crying grew more and more hysterical. I was just meters from him. I rounded the corner. And there, right before my eyes, was ... to be continued. Told you not to have that jumbo lemonade. Telling stories makes my mouth dry.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-23 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-23 Pub. Date: 2018-08-23
Image Number: 173657
Caption: I couldn't see. The air ducts surrounding me were a void. But there was something … a whimper, up ahead. Mama … Mama … I inched toward the sound. That's when I felt a … a presence. Behind me, in the distance. My feet grew cold, as if something … dead were breathing on them. Mama! I reached the vent just in time and calmly climbed through it. Calmly don't sound like you, bruh. Who's telling this story.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-21 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-21 Pub. Date: 2018-08-21
Image Number: 173655
Caption: … So I kept crawling through the air duct, searching for a vent that'd lead me to a refugee in one of the President's baby jails. But every vent led to a different moment in time and space. A different atrocity. Air ducts sprawled and twisted and meandered in every direction. For miles. Maybe farther. My phone had long since died, and so there was no light. I was alone. I was lost. I almost gave up. But then, a whisper from somewhere in the void echoed along the cold metal ducts. t said Be still And listen of the cried of the child. Yeah, right. Since when do tiny kids cry when total strangers rip them from their parents? What? They had to have been coached. Bus.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-18 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-18 Pub. Date: 2018-08-18
Image Number: 173504
Caption: 1982. Why do you like me, Lemont? Because you believe me. When I told the class that Meadowlark Lemon gave me a Harlem Globetrotters basketball and bought me ice cream, they all laughed. But you didn't. That's why you're my best friend. I can tell you anything, Susan. Why, I remember telling you that I ran into Sulu from Star Trek, and he told me I looked familiar, and he gave me a pat on the head. I don't remember you saying any of that nonsense. I also like you because you're a very good listener.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-16 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-16 Pub. Date: 2018-08-16
Image Number: 173502
Caption: America betrayed its Japanese citizens. Stole their homes. Shipped them at gunpoint to concentration camps. Demeaned them. Dehumanized them. Declared them aliens. Abused them … but when I interviewed five-year-old George, he was … ok. Not happy, but … ok. His dad had told him it was all part of their vacation. Wait ... back up ... you're saying you snuck into an air duct here in Candorville ... and climbed out of it in an internment camp in Arkansas in the year 1942? That's not important right now. Important part is, kids can be ok with anything ... as long as they've got mom and dad there to lie to them.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-15 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-15 Pub. Date: 2018-08-15
Image Number: 173501
Caption: So then I climbed out of the air duct to interview the little refugee. I was four, but now I'm five. It was my birthday. There was something off about his story. Two army men with bayonets put us on a train. We got to ride it for four whole days. Were you scared when they took you from your parents? They didn't. We're all here. We get to stand in line for food together. We get to see the machine guns pointing at us together. Veteran journalist that I am, I didn't jump to any wild conclusions. What year is this? Is this 1942? This is 1942, isn't it. We get to say the pledge of allegiance every day together ...
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-14 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-14 Pub. Date: 2018-08-14
Image Number: 173500
Caption: Wait … You snuck into the wrong refugee internment camp? Seemed so. I was trying to reach Rudy Park and the other survivors of the town that got swallowed by a sinkhole. But it seemed I accidentally snuck into one of the President's baby jails instead. Oh ... so then what happened? Y'know, never in a millions years did I imagine I'd say either of those sentences. Focus.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-13 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-13 Pub. Date: 2018-08-13
Image Number: 173499
Caption: So … Anderson Cooper distracted the guards while I snuck into the air duct to cover the real story. The architect who gave me the blueprints marked a path that'd take me to the refugees Mayor Thump had imprisoned … but I seemed to have made a wrong turn. Psst! You there ... Are you a refugee? Don't think so. My daddy said I'm on vacation.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-03 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-03 Pub. Date: 2018-08-03
Image Number: 173244
Caption: Rosencrantz, I think there was a diversion yesterday, and we let it slip away unexplored. Will eat for food. Speak for yourself, Tyrone. I seized the opportunity. I exploited it for all it was worth. For the first time in days, I experienced laughter. I experienced joy. I experienced satisfaction. Not directly, I mean. I saw another man experience it. But that's just the same, when you think about it. I'm jealous. That's something at least.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-02 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-02 Pub. Date: 2018-08-02
Image Number: 173243
Caption: Do you ever wonder whether you ever wonder? Stop it. I once thought I thought, but now I'm not sure I think I think. Stop it. I'm just saying, how do we know our thoughts are our own and not placed in our heads by a higher power? Aren't you the least bit curious about the curiosity known as curiosity? Stop it.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-23 but 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-23 Pub. Date: 2018-07-23
Image Number: 173087
Caption: So what happened when you broke into that refugee prison? Ixnay on the isonpray. I told you, it's just you and me here. Is it? I already told you, that's not a drone, that's a bird. Ok. But like I said, you can't be too careful these days. I already told you, I'm not smashing my cellphone.
     
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