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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (58 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-13 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-13 Pub. Date: 2017-10-13
Image Number: 163632
Caption: Rosencrantz, do you believe every exit is an entrance to somewhere new? I once believed such a thing, until I encountered a revolving doorway and realized it was possible for me to both exit and enter the same place at once. My eyes were suddenly opened to the thought that opposites are the same. Entering, exiting ... action, inaction ... Forgetting your companion's birthday and remembering it ... I'm still hurt, Tyrone.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-10 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-10 Pub. Date: 2017-09-10
Image Number: 161858
Caption: My uncle keeps sending me crazy, paranoid conspiracy theories he hears on Youtube. Dr. Noodle. It all started a few years ago when he sent me an email about how the victims of the Hindenburg crash were all crisis actors. These same victims died on the Titanic! He wrote. Then he told me President Obama was setting up Femur Camps, where he'd be letting the Illuminati harvest our femur bones for voodoo incantations to turn all our frogs into insomniacs. When I asked him why on earth would anyone want to do that? he said I had been brainwashed by the cabal that runs both the fake news and the pepperoni industries. So I replied why would they waste their time brainwashing me? What would they gain from that? Does your uncle have a hobby? Get him to refer uncle!!! $$$$$$$ ... because it's possible that you're his hobby. He said they've brainwashed me into thinking there's nothing to gain from brainwashing me.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-26 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-26 Pub. Date: 2017-08-26
Image Number: 161805
Caption: I saw all them tweets you made this mornin' about how both sides need to come together … about how even though both sides have very different views of what our defining principles ought to be, we should respect each other. I was almost with you right till the last tweet, which don't make no sense, bruh. #startrekdiscovery fans + #oldschooltrek fans, stop the madness! is pretty self-explanatory, Clyde. What language is you even speaking?
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-20 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-20 Pub. Date: 2016-12-20
Image Number: 152370
Caption: You still haven't told me what was so great about your trip to visit your girl "Vancouver." She and I are both writers. So … we told each other stories. She was fascinated by my life. That's beautiful. And I was by hers. She was an enthralling book and I was savoring every word. With your track record, she was probably fiction. I must be really into her, because I even loved all the typos.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-15 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-15 Pub. Date: 2016-12-15
Image Number: 152113
Caption: Maybe I should just go back to America and forget about "Vancouver." If I cross this street, walk up that hill, and knock on her door … I'll ruin it for both of us. In-person romance is way different from Facebook. In person, you can't delete or edit your comments before hitting "send." You can't send perfect photos with perfect lighting and perfect angles. I would say "Stop being a punk #@$%," but we don't cuss in Canada.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-15 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-15 Pub. Date: 2016-07-15
Image Number: 145820
Caption: I'm not mad at you so much as I'm disappointed in you, Lemont. Oh come on, Susan, Clinton is fair game. I'm so tired of that. People just love what I write when I go after a politician they hate. But as soon as I go after one they like, they're "disappointed." Nobody likes to see their own sacred cow barbecued. Last time I used that analogy, I got tons of "disappointed" letter from both the Cow Advocacy Society and the Barbecuers Guild. Dios mio.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-23 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-23 Pub. Date: 2016-06-23
Image Number: 144900
Caption: When are you going to teach your son about death? Never. If your toenail falls off, have you died? If you lose a foot to a grizzly bear, have you died? If a wild kangaroo rips off both your arms, have you died? If you can survive without parts of your body, who's to say you don't survive without the whole body? You can't just avoid having hard talks with your son. I don't want him to survive dying and then call me a liar.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-17 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-17 Pub. Date: 2016-01-17
Image Number: 137381
Caption: The more I hear Donald Trump talk, the more I like him. I thought you said Trump was an embarrassment. That he was totally bigoted and un-American, and didn't in any way represent the Republican party. You said you'd never vote for him in a million years. Yeah, but that was before. Before what? Newsweak. Before now. We're closer to the election now. Now is when both Republicans and Democrats start to forget what we said before, and fall in line behind our parties' front-runners. Well technically that time would be after the primaries, but I figure, why wait? Well, I'm still going to wait.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-07 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-07 Pub. Date: 2015-10-07
Image Number: 133460
Caption: There was something captivating about the lady I met in Vancouver. Her eyes were like milk chocolate. Her voice was music. Her scent was intoxicating. We spent a magical night together. She mentioned she's been talking to some other guy and now she's confused. She wants us both. But still, I've got a good feeling about this. Dios mio.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-25 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-25 Pub. Date: 2015-08-25
Image Number: 131714
Caption: Why we be watchin' a home improvement show, Big L? We both renters. Why'd you turn it to business news? Neither of us got no investments. Why'd you turn it to "Facts of Life" reruns, both of us men, dawg. You want me to turn it to "I owe Big L $2, I'd better pay him back"? Quiet. Tootie 'bout to say something.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-10 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-10 Pub. Date: 2015-05-10
Image Number: 126136
Caption: I'm reading a book called "Leviathan Wakes." It tells a story from the perspective of two different protagonists. Dr. Noodle. Neither knows just how much their stores are connected. It's like I've always thought: what if I'm not the only protagonist in my own life? What if there's somebody out there who's living the other half of my story? What if we're both on separate roads that are fated to converge at some pivotal, all-important moment? And what if I don't recognize this person's significance to my life and so we fail to connect?! I still think boring everyone you meet with your whole life story is a bad idea. But if I don't recognize their significance, they might recognize mine.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-20 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-20 Pub. Date: 2015-02-20
Image Number: 123055
Caption: Hi, Sasha. It's Lemont Brown. I just heard you got divorced. No need to call me back, I just wanted to let you know I'm proud of you for finally leaving that jerk. Things didn't work out between us because of the timing, and we've both moved on, but I just want you to know I hope you're happy ... because making a pass at you right after I find out you're newly divorced would be a turnoff. Right? Or not? Anyway, farewell. Unless you WANT to call me back.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-31 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-31 Pub. Date: 2014-07-31
Image Number: 114483
Caption: It's so easy to just say they're all nuts, but what's YOUR brilliant solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict? Remember the east coast-west coast rap war from the 90's? Remember how Biggie an' Tupac mommas hugged each other an' told both sides to cut that #$%&@ out? It's ok to admit you don't have a solution, Clyde. Ain't nothin' a million mommas huggin' it out can't fix.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-30 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-30 Pub. Date: 2014-07-30
Image Number: 114482
Caption: What do you mean we're hypocrites? 'Cause we get why Israel use violence, but we act like we dont get why Palestinians do it too. Israel been under siege since it started. But the Palestinians been livin' under military occupation for about as long. America started a revolution over some tea bags, so we shouldn't act like we don't get it. Israel has a duty to defend its own existence. That's why they both wrong: 'cause they both RIGHT.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-23 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-23 Pub. Date: 2014-07-23
Image Number: 114098
Caption: I had a dream last night. I dreamt that Israel's Prime Minister was Captain Kirk, of the starship Enterprise. And I dreamt Palestine's leader was also Captain Kirk, of a different Enterprise. Both ships were squaring off in orbit of Cestus III. The Metrons who lived on Cestus got annoyed and beamed both Kirks down to the planet to fight one-on-one. Who won? Not sure. There was lots of shirtlessness and karate chops, and then I woke up.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-29 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-29 Pub. Date: 2014-06-29
Image Number: 112735
Caption: The first date is the worst, isn't it? It's like a job interview, only you're not supposed to ask about the benefits you'll be getting. By "benefits," I dont mean anything dirty. Not that there's anything wrong with being a little dirty, if both parties agree on that. ... I just mean "benefits" like health insurance and time off from work. ... Not that I'm implying you're a gold-digger or anything like that. ... Why don't we just order? I'll have a taxi.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-28 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-28 Pub. Date: 2014-06-28
Image Number: 112916
Caption: If you had a friend who was always starin' at his girl, whisperin' to her, publicly caressing her, never letting her outta his sight an' ignoring erebody but her Wouldnt you do somethin' to stop that #*$@? I SAID GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE. Nah-ah, both y'all need a break.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-28 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-28 Pub. Date: 2014-05-28
Image Number: 111791
Caption: When are you going to teach your son about death? Never. If your toenail falls off, have you died? If you lose a foot to a grizzly bear, have you died? If a wild kangaroo rips off both your arms, have you died? If you can survive without parts of your body, who's to say you don't survive without the whole body? You can't just avoid having hard talks with your son. I don't want him to survive dying and then call me a liar.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-10 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-10 Pub. Date: 2013-11-10
Image Number: 103223
Caption: Update your Date-a-Dude.com profile: Looking for: A man who's a good listener. Unlike all the OTHER guys I've dated. Also A man who doesnt want to date me just to prove to his friends he can date a pretty woman, or just to prove to himself that he isn't gay. I am SO OVER guys like that. A man who isn't a lying, cheating jerk like the last guy I dated. Actually, like ALL the guys I've dated. Maybe like all guys, period. A man who doesn't have any KIDS or any CRAZY, JEALOUS EX-GIRLFRIENDS. The guy I'm hung up on right now (I'll probably tell you all about him) has both and it's REALLY annoying. In short, I want someone with no baggage.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-08 both 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-08 Pub. Date: 2013-10-08
Image Number: 102497
Caption: I'm tired of people blaming republicans for the government shutdown. It's both sides' fault. I mean, libs refused to negotiate Obamacare. They insisted it was a done deal. Thank God For Culture Clash. SINCE WHEN has something been "done" just because it was passed by both houses of congress, signed into law by the president, and upheld by the Supreme Court? Since 1787. You're not supposed to answer hypothetical questions.
     
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