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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about bones.

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Result page:     (18 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-03 bone 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-03 Pub. Date: 2019-09-03
Image Number: 179295
Caption: I'm not afraid of public speaking, Susan. Really? Then how come every CNN asks you to go on air to discuss one of your articles, you come up with some lame excuse not to? I appeared once. I remember … I remember you looked an awful lot like Clyde that day, pretending to be you. Everyone knows the camera adds sunglasses, a goatee and different bone structure. Dios mio.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-04 bone 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-04 Pub. Date: 2019-08-04
Image Number: 178780
Caption: Triple espresso, please. No caffeine for you, Uncle Mort. Doctor's orders. I thought you might say that. That's why I brought along my doctor. He can attest that I'm perfectly healthy and can tolerate vast quantities of caffeine. Mortimer Park is perfectly healthy and can tolerate vast quantities of caffeine. His bones are strong, his blood pressure is dandy, and he's got the pancreas of a man half his age. Give my patient a quadruple espresso, stat!!! You're a great ventriloquist, but your aim is lousy.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-04 bone 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-04 Pub. Date: 2018-02-04
Image Number: 167354
Caption: More than 170 million of us might have radium in our tap water, Clyde. Radium. Do you have any idea what this means? What it mean, Big L? Canada or Bust! It means we may be drinking radioactive water. It could cause all sorts of things: anemia, bone cancer, cataracts, fractured teeth, death ... invisibility, super speed, wings, teleportation, mind-reading, laser eyes, crime-fighting, and a spandex-and-cape fetish. I'm just trying to look on the bright side of living in a country where the White House keeps nominating a person who's known for falsifying data to get around water safety regulations to be head of the White House Council of Environmental Quality. I don't drink nothin' but Pepsi, bruh, so I don't care 'bout none of this. I'm gonna have to start working out if I have to wear spandex.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-12 bone 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-12 Pub. Date: 2017-11-12
Image Number: 164249
Caption: I can't believe youtube demonetized me, bruh. All my videos used to make bank, Big L. But just this morning, right after I uploaded my new track "Take a Knee," Youtube cut all the ads off almost all my videos. Well, some big advertisers pulled out of Youtube after it turned out major ads were running on four or five white supremacists' hate-videos. So the Youtube started demonetizing anything their algorithms thin is the least bit controversial. I know, bruh. That's why I renamed all my songs. "Slav'ry Bones" now be called "Involuntary Guest-Worker Bones." "Section 8 Blues" now called "Affordable Housing Lullabies." I don't know, Clyde. I heard once Youtube starts turning off a channel's ads, nothing will change their mind. "@#$% then Neo-Nazis" now called "Cuddle Kittens and Rainbow Bunnies."
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-10 bone 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-10 Pub. Date: 2017-09-10
Image Number: 161858
Caption: My uncle keeps sending me crazy, paranoid conspiracy theories he hears on Youtube. Dr. Noodle. It all started a few years ago when he sent me an email about how the victims of the Hindenburg crash were all crisis actors. These same victims died on the Titanic! He wrote. Then he told me President Obama was setting up Femur Camps, where he'd be letting the Illuminati harvest our femur bones for voodoo incantations to turn all our frogs into insomniacs. When I asked him why on earth would anyone want to do that? he said I had been brainwashed by the cabal that runs both the fake news and the pepperoni industries. So I replied why would they waste their time brainwashing me? What would they gain from that? Does your uncle have a hobby? Get him to refer uncle!!! $$$$$$$ ... because it's possible that you're his hobby. He said they've brainwashed me into thinking there's nothing to gain from brainwashing me.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-22 bone 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-22 Pub. Date: 2015-02-22
Image Number: 122695
Caption: "Your thigh bone's connected to your hip bone … Your shoulder bone's connected to your neck bone … Your neck bone's connected to your head bone … Now hear the word of the Lord!" James Weldon Johnson wrote that almost 100 years ago. Yeah, well … I still don't see why it's James Weldon Johnson's fault you just had to pay $5,000 to get your teeth fixed. It's obvious, Lemont. For 100 years, they've been indoctrinating us at an early age into not considering teeth to be an integral part of the body. That's what lets health insurance get away with not covering dental. I bet the HMOs paid the guy not to even mention the tooth bone. It's the only explanation for such a glaring omission. First of all, I'm not sure "tooth bone" is a thing ... which is proof that a century of brainwashing works.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-02 bone 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-02 Pub. Date: 2013-04-02
Image Number: 95255
Caption: Many cable shows are pulling in better ratings than network shows. In response, the networks are making drastic changes. ABC has announced they're renaming "The View." Starting tomorrow it will be called "The Walking Dead." And from now on, Fox's "Bones" will be called "The Walking Dead." We now return you to a classic episode of "The Walking Dead Trek," already in progress. " ... He's UN-dead, Jim."
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-11-19 bone 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-11-19 Pub. Date: 2012-11-19
Image Number: 90131
Caption: Where would you be without me? What do you mean? Without me. You'd be nothing. Alone, unloved, unwanted and unnoticed. By now you'd be a rotting heap of bones piled in a ditch. I tell you this because I love you. Oh. Ok.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-09-06 bone 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-09-06 Pub. Date: 2010-09-06
Image Number: 51714
Caption: How was your flight home, Lemont? Great! Really? But when you called from the airport, you were griping about how they charge $50 for each bag you check. Pfft! I got around that, easy. I'm just big-boned.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-30 bone 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-30 Pub. Date: 2010-03-30
Image Number: 45680
Caption: Date - a - chick.com. Charming, happy man who doesn't have a bitter bone in his body … … about his evil harpy ex who made his life a living nightmare … … seeks equally happy woman. Start over. Too mushy?
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-11-05 bone 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-11-05 Pub. Date: 2009-11-05
Image Number: 40342
Caption: You have two seconds to tell me who you are and why you're in my house, or my vicious dog will kill you. My name is Saxon Kenchu. What I am about to tell you will chill you to the bone and shatter your beliefs about the world. What, that you're the son of a mixed marriage between a vampire and a vampire hunter and your mother is trying to enslave the world? I read all that nonsense back when Lemont twittered it. Stupid internet spoilers.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-11-04 bone 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-11-04 Pub. Date: 2009-11-04
Image Number: 40341
Caption: Your dog is evil, Suzy-G! Sunshine is NOT evil! Tell me again why you in the cemetery at 2 a.m. It's the only place Sunshine likes to walk. Tell me again why Sunshine like playin' fetch with a femur bone. Don't nobody play fetch with no femur bone 'less they evil. Grrrrr. She likes to recycle. I think that's commendable. Your dog need Jesus.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-26 bone 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-26 Pub. Date: 2009-06-26
Image Number: 35438
Caption: The government may force us to pick from a few healthcare plans designed by government bureaucrats, Louise. Having choices we don't like is like no choice at all, Harry. In '94, when we derailed universal healthcare, we got to CHOOSE a plan that grew so expensive we couldn't afford to keep it ten years later. But at least it was our choi -- CLICLUNK. ... Harry? Louith ... my mandible thell oth ... I don't want government bureaucrats telling me what to do with MY mandible, Harry.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-07 bone 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-07 Pub. Date: 2009-03-07
Image Number: 30451
Caption: Can't sleep. This dog scares me to death. Have to sleep. Uuurp.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-12-03 bone 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-12-03 Pub. Date: 2008-12-03
Image Number: 28419
Caption: Whachaneed, whachaneed… I got tickets to the game. Let ya have 'em for fifty bones. What game? …tomorrow's Candorville Killers game? I gave you $60 just this morning to buy us tickets to the Candorville Killers game. Is that the game you're talking about? (tsk) If you ain't buyin', I got ten dudes who will.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-04-12 bone 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-04-12 Pub. Date: 2008-04-12
Image Number: 22789
Caption: Whachoo think of this new rap I wrote, Big L? I told you, Clyde, don't call me "Big L." I'm just a little big-boned, is all. Bones don't jiggle, Big L. STOP IT.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-27 bone 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-27 Pub. Date: 2007-10-27
Image Number: 19039
Caption: Sometimes I think you don't have a romantic bone in your body. Will you PLEASE stop telling that stupid joke? (A) I don't believe that happened, and (B), you're way too hard on yourself. I'm not even funny on the cellular level.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-12-24 bone 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-12-28 Pub. Date: 2006-12-24
Image Number: 15640
Caption: You're reached the home of Lemont Brown. Please leave a message. Hi baby. It's momma. Thank you for the digital picture frame you sent me and you loaded it with all those lovely photos of you and your little friends Clyde and Susan. I just have two questions, baby. First, when is this Little-Miss-Susan gonna stop leading my baby around by the nose with all this "platonic friends" nonsense? Someone needs to tell her she ain't gettin' any younger -- or prettier. Oh you two would make momma some beautiful grandbabies. She got them thick child-bearin hips on her, y'see. Second, how come you never bring your friends by?
     
Result page:     (18 images)