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Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons

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Result page:     (16 images)


1. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2019-08-19 body 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2019-08-19 Pub. Date: 2019-08-19
Image Number: 179164
Caption: Plastic Straw Man. Or, how the right turns reason into treason. 1. Scientists warn the world about serious problem. Our food, water, air, and bodies are filling with plastic particles. 2. Some businesses stop using plastic straws, or substitute paper, and life goes on. Mountain Dew plus gravity - It's like magic! 3. Suddenly the problem becomes a conspiracy by liberals. Liberals want to take away your straws! 4. Patriotic symbolism is invoked. The Libs hate the all-American fountain drink! Will they stop at nothing to destroy our way of life? 5. Idiotic backlash ensues. I use 100 Trump straws to own the Libs! Ssssuck!
     
2. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2018-04-09 body 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2018-04-09 Pub. Date: 2018-04-09
Image Number: 170509
Caption: Fueling our Demise. Let's face it: Nothing beats the freedom to drive a giant soot-spewing aluminum phallus. Magnum XL Powerthrust. Ron Perkins. Auto industry exec. That's why we've been lobbying the EPA to gut emissions standards. FU250. Bitumen Boost. Hopefully soon we can sell actual coal rollers! Climb over any obstacle, whether it's debris from climate change-induced superstorms, or the bodies of tens of thousands of American who die prematurely each year from air pollution. Pre-order one now, and get a free all-terrain asthma inhaler for your kids! Gasp! Ssssuck!
     
3. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2016-06-06 body 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-06-06 Pub. Date: 2016-06-06
Image Number: 144448
Caption: Radical Cleric vs. Trump. Thou shalt not question the prophet! Thou shalt not question my profits! To my critics in the press: I will have my people shoot you! To my critics in the press: I will have my people sue you! Women are sex objects who should cover their bodies with clothing! Women are sex objects who should wear as little clothing as possible! If they are tens. This man is proof that Americans are enemies of Islam! This man is proof that Muslims are enemies of America!
     
4. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2015-03-25 body 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-03-25 Pub. Date: 2015-03-25
Image Number: 124876
Caption: I sat down, mumbled something in return. Soon my fires were ready and I went up to get them. Back at the table, I ate and drank while Carl chattered away. Suddenly, I panicked. I felt weird in the head. It was like nothing I'd ever felt before. I'd smoked pot less than a handful of times, tried LSD once - this was unlike either high, and out-of-body swirly sensation. I was not able to control my mind. I had trouble forming words. My body felt heavy, and I could not make the decision to get up. Blah blah blah. I thought, "am I having a seizure or a stroke?" (This is a long form cartoon. To see next panels, use "Image Number" box at left and enter 124877.)
     
5. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2014-07-21 body 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-07-21 Pub. Date: 2014-07-21
Image Number: 114268
Caption: Hey, nation-states! Do you have territorial issues? Long-lost borders you'd like to reclaim? Call 1-800 Goon Squad. We'll help you arm your rebel friends with lots of cool military gizmos.* What is it? I dunno. Try pushing a button. *Training and radar systems not included. "If your rebels have any problems at all, they can just call our hotline. Igor is standing by." Hello, Goon Squad? I think I just shot down a civilian airliner. No problem. We will send train for de bodies. Trust our proven damage control strategies! No plane here. No Russia help. You stay you die.
     
6. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2014-06-09 body 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-06-10 Pub. Date: 2014-06-09
Image Number: 112525
Caption: Soldier Falls into Hands of American Taliban. Held captive for five years by a group of repressive, gun-crazy fundamentalists … Bowe Bergdahl new faces another. Have a homecoming party and there will be consequences. These extremists become radicalized by watching incendiary tribal leaders in their man-caves. He's lucky special forces didn't send him home in a body bag. Crox News. Yeah! Stupid P.O.W.! New they terrorize the peaceful villagers of Bowe's hometown in the remote mountain regions of Idaho. Hailey city hall. (Cursing symbols). Who is it? Taliban again. ... And the Bergdahl family has received death threats that the FBI is taking seriously. Maybe there is hope for Americans after all.
     
7. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-09-12 body 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-09-12 Pub. Date: 2011-09-12
Image Number: 89282
Caption: Slowpoke. Sarah Palin and others like to call the Wisconsin teachers' union "thugs." Yes, these edu-gangsters are a menace to society, with their grammatically-correct threats … Would you like a piece of this? Detention slip. Even worse, sometimes they use "Godfather"-inspired tactics to send a message to their enemies. Aaaaah! Biology lab frog in a pool of formaldehyde. In some cases, entire classrooms are merely fronts for black-market dealing. I've got 1,000 bootleg copies of "The Very Hungry Caterpillar". Shh ... Only they know what secrets lie buried in the playground. What happened here, Miss Sprinkle? Oh, don't you worry about it!
     
8. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-05-31 body 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-05-31 Pub. Date: 2010-05-31
Image Number: 90121
Caption: Slowpoke. Better Babies Through Chemistry. The President's cancer panel just stated that babies are born "pre-polluted" with more than 300 contaminants in their bodies. We chemical manufacturers like to take a different view. "Just think: with enough PFOAs, you can have a fabulous, easy to clean nonstick baby!" This pea puree comes right off! "These fine, flame-retardant babies provide a protective layer for this fireman." Be careful, Dave! It's ok - I've got BABIES! "And who couldn't use a pesticide-filled infant as toxic bug bait at their next cookout?" With her around, I hardly get bit anymore. Kiss the Cook. Babies: We can make them better than they were.
     
9. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-02-01 body 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-02-01 Pub. Date: 2010-02-01
Image Number: 90481
Caption: Slowpoke. The Need for Speed. I'd like a Pronto Patty and a Pepsi … And make it snappy! Burger Pope. Earn your college degree in just 15 minutes! Instalum Online University. Yes! Take me through the six-second freshman orientation now! GO! Get fit in only 2 minutes a day! Total body workout for the busy executive! As Seen On TV. Why waste 70 years when you can live your life in HALF AN HOUR? Try new LIFEWINK! TM.
     
10. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-01-01 body 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-01-01 Pub. Date: 2010-01-01
Image Number: 86603
Caption: Slowpoke. The Need for Speed. I'd like a Pronto Patty and a Pepsi … And make it snappy! Burger Pope. Earn your college degree in just 15 minutes! INSTALUM Online University. YES! Take me through my six-second freshman orientation now! Go! GET FIT IN ONLY 2 MINUTES A DAY! Total body workout for the busy executive! As Seen On TV. Why waste 70 years when you can live your life in HALF AN HOUR? Try new Lifekwik! tm.
     
11. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-07-13 body 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-07-13 Pub. Date: 2009-07-13
Image Number: 90701
Caption: Slowpoke. State of the Nation. Special road trip edition. Stimulus money is being spent by the buttload on U.S. highways. Stock tip: Invest in reflecto-barrels! Not again! Putting America back to work. One lane next 12 miles. Americans are eating even worse than you thought. I'll have the oleaginous cakes and a side order of lipid sticks. Clogger's Family Chowdown. The continental truck divide separates varieties of pickups. Western. Southern. Large and powerful but also luxurious. Horns optional. Greater tire-to-body size ratio. Often clownlike. Retirement often turns the squarest Americans into neo-hippies. Bessie here is our home. life on the road - it's groovy!
     
12. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-06-29 body 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-06-29 Pub. Date: 2009-06-29
Image Number: 90699
Caption: Slowpoke. Do you suffer from cellphone inferiority complex? All my friends have Smartphones. I'm the only one left with an idiotphone! Don’t worry - there IS help available: At DR. P'S CLINIC FOR THE TELE-TROUBLED. Talk to one of our specially-trained therapists ... It's okay to have a phone that makes calls. It IS? "Our support groups let you know you're not alone." ... And then she said "That's your Phone?" I feel your pain. 5 years later ... All my friends have genius phones, and I've only got a Smartphone! 20 years later ... All my friends have core-tex TM communications implants while I still use a phone! 40 years later ... All my friends are pure energy beings and I still have a body.
     
13. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-06-15 body 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-06-15 Pub. Date: 2009-06-15
Image Number: 90698
Caption: Slowpoke. Ranger Drooly here! Now that loaded, concealed weapons will be allowed in national parks, you'll need to prepare for vacation … And battle! Check out the latest gear for … The Commando Camper. The Bradley Fighting Tent. Doosh! Surrounded by rifle-wielding yahoos strung out on crystal meth? care them off easily with this lightweight assault dome. Sleeps four. Killer Weenies. From the makers of Napalm s'mores, these hot dogs squirt flesh-dissolving acid! Is that a bear or a fellow camper? Better safe than sorry! Zing! Warning: Do not eat killer weenie. Exploding Decoy Children. 1. An animatronic decoy child filled with TNT is the last thing the bad guys will ever expect! 2. BOOM! Available in 12 ethnicities! Get in the spirit with Death Metal Campfire Songs. Bodies are bursting apart volcanic eruption of guts exploding cadavers bring forth a bloodbath to torment all life.* *Actual lyrics by Cannibal Corpse. "Because it's not a family vacation - it's war."
     
14. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2008-08-18 body 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2008-08-18 Pub. Date: 2008-08-18
Image Number: 91249
Caption: Slowpoke. NOISE WAR. It started with the cell phone dipwads. YEA, I'M HAVING MY INVERTED NIPPLE EXTRUDED TODAY! Noise-cancelling headphones ensued. Blah blah blah blah. HA! But in this age of advanced ringtones, 4-wheelers, and fat tailpipes, it's only a matter of time before we see ... Mini personal leaf blowers to clear crumbs off of public seats! A Plexiglas bubble must be added to the anti-noise ensemble. Parents can no linger hear their wee ones above the din, so they use BABY AMPLIFIERS. I think she's crying WAAA. People resort to full-body suits made of sound-dampening eggshell foam, on top of everything else. Ah, peace and quiet! I can't move.
     
15. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2005-01-01 body 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2005-01-01 Pub. Date: 2005-01-01
Image Number: 86622
Caption: Slowpoke. THE NEW ENERGY BARS. Hey, consumers! Ever noticed there's an energy bar like this one for almost every demographic? Check out these latest niche-marketed treats! LOONA Urban New Age Goddess Bar. Pro-X3 Amino Booster. Metabolic Symmetry. Gross Tanning. Total Body Bar. THIS IS NOT AN IRONY BAR. Irony Bar. Bolton Bar. Diplomacy Free! Bolton Bar. With rabid badger to enhance surliness, and vitamin B complexes for thick, bushy mustache growth. Sloth Bar. Sloth Bar for those who sit. BOOM BAR. Baby's got BAR! The Boom Bar. With built-in subwoofers, it's the only bar with block-rockin' bass! Power-Hungry Bar. Now with Wing Nuts! The RNC. tm. Power-hungry Bar. If you eat another brand, you're with the terrorists.
     
16. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2002-01-01 body 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2002-01-01 Pub. Date: 2002-01-01
Image Number: 92650
Caption: Slowpoke. Drooly Julie's Culture Corner. Ah, yes! It's that time of year again when a young woman's fancy turns to male undergrads' tawny, muscled thighs covered with a light dusting of man-fur! (Sigh) It puts me in such a poetic mood! 'Sup, bro? Abercrumbie Lacrosse. O college boy, thine leg hair is like a meadow of wild grasses through which I would cavort nakedly, leaving heart-shaped crop circles. Huwh? Are you, like, an English major? Actually, I have my PH.D. in hanky-pankypology. Old Gravy XL Athletics. Aye, behold the sturdy young scholar, with legs like golden Corinthian pillars! Would that I could snip some of your calf fuzz and weave it with others' into a giant tapestry. 'Twould be my homage to man's glorious ursine pelt! Momma warned me about girls like this! Gapp Tennis. Hey, what about me? I'm a cyclist, so I shave my legs. Ah, the sinewy, glabrous legs of bikers! Spandex swaddled, spring-loaded pistons ready for action! You can ride the Tour de Drooly anytime! Move over Bukowski!
     
Result page:     (16 images)