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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (56 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-18 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-18 Pub. Date: 2017-06-18
Image Number: 158658
Caption: I read your article bashing Congressman Thugman for assaulting a reporter, you'd better watch your back, Leroy. Lemont. Whatever. You should change your name to "Enemy of the American People." Trump said so, and he's right. How was he right? There's nothing more American than a free press. Read the first amendment. The press is enshrined in the Constitution! Journalists report being beaten, arrested. Oh yeah? Well, the so-called "Constitution" also enshrined slavery. Yeah, but then the Constitution abolished slavery, with the 13th amendment. Exactly. It's crazy for you to defend yourself with a document that can't even make up its mind. No wonder they're body-slamming you guys now. I'm starting to think you'll say anything just to win an argument. That's my first amendment right. Why do you hate the Constitution?
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-10 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-10 Pub. Date: 2017-03-10
Image Number: 155383
Caption: When did you know you were in love with Vancouver? It happened one night over Skype … I said "we must be double-planets, because our barycenter is somewhere between us in space, outside of either of our bodies … and because in our orbit around it, we're tidally locked, unable to turn away form one another." When she bit her lip and told me "that was so sexy" instead of slowly backing away from her computer, I knew it was true love. Dios mio.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-10 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-10 Pub. Date: 2016-10-10
Image Number: 149609
Caption: So, why're you going to Vancouver? What was that? Can't … breathe … Well … I'm going 'cause it's the one city I've never worked out in.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-16 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-16 Pub. Date: 2016-09-16
Image Number: 148483
Caption: I've been in long-distance relationships too, so I know how you feel. The fear that they aren't as into you as you're into them, but you're too far away to pick up on the body language. The near certainty that while you're hundreds of miles away, someone else has got their hands all over them. I hadn't really thought about any of that. Thanks a lot. You're welcome. Bus. 7 9 18 27 F 6
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-01 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-01 Pub. Date: 2016-08-01
Image Number: 146688
Caption: Hi! I'm a complete stranger! You obviously came up here to enjoy the view in solitude. But I'm gonna stand right next to you as if I've never even heard of the concept of "personal space." I'm gonna avoid eye contact in hopes you'll go away. Good thing I can't pick up on body language.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-23 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-23 Pub. Date: 2016-06-23
Image Number: 144900
Caption: When are you going to teach your son about death? Never. If your toenail falls off, have you died? If you lose a foot to a grizzly bear, have you died? If a wild kangaroo rips off both your arms, have you died? If you can survive without parts of your body, who's to say you don't survive without the whole body? You can't just avoid having hard talks with your son. I don't want him to survive dying and then call me a liar.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-30 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-30 Pub. Date: 2015-09-30
Image Number: 133084
Caption: Where do you think we'll be 3,000 years from now, Susan? Do you think we'll even be recognizable as human beings? Will we all have nanites coursing through our bodies repairing damage and connecting us all to a hive mind? Will we have no bodies at all, and instead me sentient programs uploaded to the cloud to escape some global catastrophe? Will we still like pizza? Pizza is eternal.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-27 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-27 Pub. Date: 2015-08-27
Image Number: 131716
Caption: Lemont have I told you how much I appreciate having you as a friend? Thank you! I mean, some guys try to be all "alpha-male" all the time. Like this guy I'm seeing. Last night, the dude was flexing his massive biceps while he was hugging me. That was a real turnoff. I like that I've known you all my life, and I still have no idea if you have any muscles. Thank you.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-21 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-21 Pub. Date: 2015-06-21
Image Number: 128073
Caption: I've done a lot of things in my life, doc. I'm a firm believer in sampling everything life has to offer. Dr. Noodle Except for prison. I don't need to know what being imprisoned is like or visiting the Middle East. I don't really need to end up in an orange jumpsuit ... or bug-eating. No offense to the rest of the world, but that's just nasty ... or flyfishing ... or pipe-smoking ... or body-piercing ... or alligator-wrestling ... or Jazzercise ... You're being awfully negative. Why don't we try focusing on the things you DO like to do? I don't like being negative.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-26 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-26 Pub. Date: 2015-03-26
Image Number: 124644
Caption: If you could go back in time ten years, but you couldn't come back, and you would not be ten years younger would you do it? Only if I were an idiot. But if you went into the past, you could invest wisely and get rich. Yeah, but I'd die ten years earlier. We may only be decades away from figuring out how to end aging, or how to upload our consciousness to immortal android bodies. If I die ten years early, I might miss out on that. You know that stuff would only be for rich people, right? I've got $8,000 in an IRA.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-22 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-22 Pub. Date: 2015-02-22
Image Number: 122695
Caption: "Your thigh bone's connected to your hip bone Your shoulder bone's connected to your neck bone Your neck bone's connected to your head bone Now hear the word of the Lord!" James Weldon Johnson wrote that almost 100 years ago. Yeah, well I still don't see why it's James Weldon Johnson's fault you just had to pay $5,000 to get your teeth fixed. It's obvious, Lemont. For 100 years, they've been indoctrinating us at an early age into not considering teeth to be an integral part of the body. That's what lets health insurance get away with not covering dental. I bet the HMOs paid the guy not to even mention the tooth bone. It's the only explanation for such a glaring omission. First of all, I'm not sure "tooth bone" is a thing ... which is proof that a century of brainwashing works.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-13 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-13 Pub. Date: 2014-12-13
Image Number: 119938
Caption: What's wrong? England found King Richard III's remains under a parking lot. Oh what's wrong with that? I used to think the world was a lot more exciting, Susan. Whatever happened to sweaty archeologists being chased through catacombs by bad guys, uncovering ancient, booby-trapped tombs ... What happened to the booby traps? Real life's interesting enough, Lemont. A parking lot??
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-10 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-10 Pub. Date: 2014-09-10
Image Number: 116185
Caption: If the celebrities didnt want the world to see their naked pictures, they shouldnt have taken naked pictures. That's ridiculous. That's like saying if you dont want your money stolen, you shouldnt have put your money in your wallet. That's a dumb analogy. What I do with my own money is nobody's business. But what women do with their bodies IS? I'm glad we can agree on something.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-06 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-06 Pub. Date: 2014-08-06
Image Number: 114619
Caption: The world moves really fast, Susan. It feels like just a few years ago I was on the cutting edge 'cause I knew how to program a website with HTML. But it's as if I blinked for a second, and the whole world ran past me and I don't have the skills to keep up. STOP IT!!!! (Originally published on 2012-02-02).
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-28 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-28 Pub. Date: 2014-05-28
Image Number: 111791
Caption: When are you going to teach your son about death? Never. If your toenail falls off, have you died? If you lose a foot to a grizzly bear, have you died? If a wild kangaroo rips off both your arms, have you died? If you can survive without parts of your body, who's to say you don't survive without the whole body? You can't just avoid having hard talks with your son. I don't want him to survive dying and then call me a liar.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-29 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-29 Pub. Date: 2013-12-29
Image Number: 105216
Caption: When I woke up this morning, I felt like a sumo wrestler was holding my whole body down. I posted about it on Facebook, and 17 "friends" "liked" it. The whole experience is making me doubt humanity. No, I know, Susan You brought me soup and medicine. When if think of "humanity," I don't mean to include you in that. What on earth do you mean by that, Lemont? I'm sick, I don't have to know what I mean by anything. Excuse me, I have something to go "like" on Facebook.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-22 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-22 Pub. Date: 2013-12-22
Image Number: 104853
Caption: Sup, Big L. How your family be doin'? Oh my God Bus. Clyde Do you feel any sudden numbness? Maybe some weakness in your face, arm or leg? Especially on one side of your body? Are you having any trouble walking? Huh? What the @#!$ is you talkin' 'bout, Big L? Clyde, you NEVER express any interest in the well-being of others ... So when you asked about my family ... Naturally I assumed you'd had a stroke. I have been feelin' sleepy at night. That a symptom?
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-22 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-22 Pub. Date: 2013-08-22
Image Number: 100554
Caption: Lemont Have I told you how much I appreciate having you as a friend? Thank you! I mean, SOME guys try to be all "alpha-male" all the time. Like this guy I'm seeing. Last night, the dude was FLEXING his massive biceps while he was hugging me. That was a real turn off. I like that I've known you all my life, and I still have no idea if you have any muscles. Thank you.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-17 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-17 Pub. Date: 2013-06-17
Image Number: 98183
Caption: Hi! I'm a complete stranger! You obviously came up here to enjoy the view in solitude. But I'm gonna stand right here next to you as if I've never even heard of the concept of "personal space." I'm gonna avoid eye contact in hopes you'll go away. Good thing I can't pick up on body language.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-03-07 body 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-03-07 Pub. Date: 2013-03-07
Image Number: 94133
Caption: Why's everyone think adults should want to have kids? Because we can. We're built for it. It's like someone who's born with legs but doesn't want to walk. Or someone born with eyes who doesnt want to see. Or someone born with super powers who doesnt want to wear tights and fight crime. It's important to know where to end an analogy. ... A Vulcan who doesn't want to mind-meld.
     
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