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Candorville

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141. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-18 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-18 Pub. Date: 2016-03-18
Image Number: 140513
Caption: I agree with Clyde, the Republicans are going to win big this year. Fear. Unlimited funds. Gerrymandering voting districts … All the pieces are in place for a checkmate in six moves, followed by the traditional pantsing of the loser. Thanks for reminding me why I never play chess with you.
     
142. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-17 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-17 Pub. Date: 2016-03-17
Image Number: 140512
Caption: Have you signed up for Obamacare yet? #@$% no. Republicans gonna win big in November. Then they gonna kill Obamacare. So if I sign up for it an' like it, I'll be disappointed when I lose it. That's not the dumbest reason I've heard. You gotta work on your compliments.
     
143. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-16 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-16 Pub. Date: 2016-03-16
Image Number: 140511
Caption: Why do you keep walking two feet ahead of me, Clyde? I don't know what you talkin' 'bout, Big L. It's almost like you're trying to put on some primal show of dominance. Like you're trying to be the alpha male here. You always over-thinkin' things, bruh. Then how come you sped up as soon as I got next to you? Two words: "Your" an' "breath." ... an' "stank."
     
144. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-26 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-26 Pub. Date: 2016-02-26
Image Number: 139564
Caption: I need to find myself a woman, Big L. What about your girlfriend, Clyde? My what? Your girlfriend, Imani. She's with you like all the time. She's sitting right there. Sometimes it's like you don’t even know I exist. AAAH! (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-02-07).
     
145. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-24 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-24 Pub. Date: 2016-02-24
Image Number: 139562
Caption: What's it like havin' a kid, Big L? I'll put it this way, Clyde … You remember how when we were kids, a single drop of water on a little blade of grass would be amazing to you? No, I don’t remember that. Well … now I do. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-02-05).
     
146. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-10 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-10 Pub. Date: 2016-02-10
Image Number: 138873
Caption: Y'know what the thing be about Youtube, Big L? If you upload secret video you took of the worst double date in history, you can get 7 million views in just a few hours. But if you drop a music video you been workin' on for weeks, you get just a fraction of that. You recorded me on my date?! You uploaded it to Youtube?! We talkin' about my music video now. You've ruined my life, Clyde. Erethang ain't always about you, bruh.
     
147. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-09 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-09 Pub. Date: 2016-02-09
Image Number: 138872
Caption: You ain't thanked me for watchin' your baby boy while you was on your date, Big L. Oh, I didn't? Maybe that's because I came home, he asked how my "booty call" went. Where would he learn such a phrase, Clyde? He's two! Most fellas woulda just turned on Sesame Street. I gave the boy vocabulary lessons. Not thanking you.
     
148. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-24 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-24 Pub. Date: 2016-01-24
Image Number: 137727
Caption: I told my wife all about us, Jenny, and she left me. That means we can finally be together, like we wanted. All the things we dreamed about over Facebook can finally come true. We can finally take that long walk along the beach … make love under the night sky on a bed of roses ... dress like big teddy bears and mud-wrestle ... All the beautiful things that we alone dared to dream are finally about to happen, Jenny. No ... this isn't Robert ... No ... this isn't Sam ... Jenny, are you joking with m -- No, this isn't Randy ...
     
149. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-19 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-19 Pub. Date: 2016-01-19
Image Number: 137945
Caption: How long you gonna be here, Big L. Oh, I don't know … If my son and I are in your way, we can leave: Even though it's 40-below outside … and even though you come over to my place ALL THE TIME whether I'm home or not. If you want us to leave, Clyde, just say the word. The word. NOT LEAVING!!!
     
150. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-01 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-01 Pub. Date: 2016-01-01
Image Number: 137117
Caption: Oh, you got a big date tonight? Glad you came in. I could do somethin' for you. I could tell you ain't no haircut in the world gonna make a woman like you. If she like you, she like you. In fact, only thing a woman like more than a man who's all put together is a man she can put together. I don't think we like the same type of woman. Women like a scar, too. I could give you one. That'd be extra.
     
151. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-28 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-28 Pub. Date: 2015-12-28
Image Number: 137113
Caption: Let's take a moment for a brief interlude, between what was, and what will be. All the days in all the years we've been partnered have been the same, Tyrone. Wake up. Scrounge. Reflect on our dire circumstance but do nothing to change it. And then drift back to sleep. But it occurred to me today, in every story I've ever read, there's been an interlude between the status quo and the big change. I feel interludy. Do you feel interludy? Not even a little bit.
     
152. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-10 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-10 Pub. Date: 2015-12-10
Image Number: 136222
Caption: I took your advice. I'm going on a double date next week. Susan and her allegedly perfect man vs. me and my lady friend from Vancouver. Yeh this gon' turn out real well. Did you just hear what you said, Big L? That guy can't be perfect. Vancouver is perfect. There can be only one perfect. I'ma sell tickets to this.
     
153. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-06 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-06 Pub. Date: 2015-12-06
Image Number: 135628
Caption: How come you never come to my book signings? I ain't have all that free time, Big L. C-Dog busy. Gotta keep it hustlin'. You know how I do. How you do what? What do you mean, "How you do what?" "How I do … " "How we do … " It's an expression, bruh. No it's not. It's just an incomplete sentence. What you're "expressing" is that you can't finish a sentence. I feel like expressions used to be clever. Since when has not finishing a sentence been clever? And you wanna know why I ain't go to your book signings. What a lazy country we've become.
     
154. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-03 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-03 Pub. Date: 2015-12-03
Image Number: 135926
Caption: We never talk about the finer things. Who's your favorite artist, Clyde? That'd be "Big Oatmeal," down by the car wash. Brutha be spray-paintin' all over them t-shirts he sell. The art he be spittin' would take a brutha's breath away. No, I mean out of all of history's great artists which one's your favorite? The one who could paint my momma picture on a t-shirt for $4.95.
     
155. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-01 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-01 Pub. Date: 2015-12-01
Image Number: 135924
Caption: Hey, Clyde, did you hear? Donald Trump's supporters beat and kicked a "Black Lives Matter" activist, and Trump condoned it. It's not quite "Brownshirt" level stuff yet, but it's certainly unamerican. Whachoo talking' bout, Big L? Civil war … Jim Crow … Mexican-American War ... Indians ... out-of-control cops ... gangs ... domesticated violence ... Beatin' down people you ain't like is as American as it get, bruh. I'm talking about Constitution-America, not America-America.
     
156. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-27 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-27 Pub. Date: 2015-11-27
Image Number: 135626
Caption: You know they're working on robots you can have nookie with? Aiight, bruh, that's it. C-Dog puttin' a stop to this train wreck right here. I done put up with your Star Track, an' your Babylon 9, an' your Yoda voicemail greeting, but this spit just got outta control. I'ma go get "Pookie" an' "Big Oatmeal" an' the rest of the boys, an' we gonna have a intervention. I didn't say I was going to buy one, or anything. Go home an' say goodbye to your Doctor Who toothbrush, bruh. Katrina's Ghost.
     
157. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-18 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-18 Pub. Date: 2015-11-18
Image Number: 135315
Caption: Whachoo gon' do for Thanksgiving, Big L? Visit momma. Lionel's almost three, and she hasn't seen him in months. She's going to be so surprised when I show up with my boy, a turkey dinner and flowers. She ain't know you comin'? What if she ain't there? Well, then me missing Thanksgiving would be HER fault ... and the only logical thing for Lionel and me to do would be to camp out at the theater and wait 'till "Star Wars" opens. I see what game you runnin' bruh. You ain't slick.
     
158. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-17 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-17 Pub. Date: 2015-11-17
Image Number: 135314
Caption: I know what you 'bout to say, bruh, an' I ain't wanna hear none of that. How could you possibly know what I'm about to say, Clyde? I known you since we was 6 months old, Big L. We done had every conversation we could possibly have. You gonna talk about science fiction. I could tell by the way you almost bouncin' on your toes, all giddy. I always know what you gonna say by the degree of geekiness in your stance. Old friends are the worst. It's a disgusting display, bruh.
     
159. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-09 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-09 Pub. Date: 2015-11-09
Image Number: 135006
Caption: What's your IQ, Clyde? Why you wanna know, Big L? If I say my IQ 108, you gonna think what I have to say ain't worth spit? An' if I say my IQ be 152 … what then, you gonna suddenly imbue erethang I say wit' fifteen layers of meaning, an' question what you always thought was our dynamic? I think I'd like to go with the 108. Good call, Big L.
     
160. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-03 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-03 Pub. Date: 2015-11-03
Image Number: 134722
Caption: Hello, Tara: I just want to say … I love my son more than life itself. My love will always be with him, no matter what happens. I've lived a long life. Seen many things. Gone many places. I have no regrets. By the way, I'm having a major medical procedure done tomorrow. But if my son doesn't call me before then, no big deal. I just don't want HIM to have regrets. (Hopefully I don't accidentally send this text to him, totally by mistake.) (Sigh) Better call momma. People have been known to die from tooth-cleanings. Just saying.
     
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