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Candorville

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361. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-29 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-29 Pub. Date: 2010-04-29
Image Number: 46756
Caption: You going to your college reunion? Tsk. I don't know Big L. Ahem. Why not? Sigh. 'Cause everyone else probably went on to be successful … Snort. Whereas I haven't yet done anything significant with my cow. Cough. Um … what? Cough cough. I mean "with my LIFE."
     
362. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-28 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-28 Pub. Date: 2010-04-28
Image Number: 46755
Caption: My ten-year college reunion comin' up next week, Big L. But you only went to a two-week online doctorate program. Just a YEAR ago. It was an accelerated program.
     
363. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-26 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-26 Pub. Date: 2010-04-26
Image Number: 46753
Caption: I think everybody should learn at least one new thing every day, Clyde. For instance, by lunchtime, I learned my computer was missing. I feel you, Big L … I learn many things e'reday. Like today … I learned all your online passwords is "Clyde-give-me-back-my-computer." GIVE ME BACK MY COMPUTER! You should at least add some numbers to that @#$%.
     
364. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-14 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-14 Pub. Date: 2010-04-14
Image Number: 46247
Caption: Big government's a drug pusher. Say what? Paved roads, power lines, running water, schools, hospitals, planes filling the skies … Who asked for all that? I didn't! I shouldn't have to pay for any of it! Well stop using it all then. I can't! It's in my veins, man, my veins!
     
365. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-19 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-19 Pub. Date: 2010-03-19
Image Number: 45148
Caption: Lemont, I made a big mistake. Enormous. I'm scared to tell you. I faked a relationship with Dick Fink to teach you what it's like to have a friend hook up with the wrong person. I mean, so your relationship with Dick Fink drove me so crazy, I hallucinated vampires, got institutionalized and almost lost my job. It's not like you FAKED the relationship or anything unforgivable like that. What was the mistake? I ... Uh ... tried to order a whopper at McDonald's?
     
366. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-29 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-09 Pub. Date: 2008-01-29
Image Number: 21413
Caption: How was I to know that big dude would kick you in the head? Clyde, you insulted his parrot, hid behind a trash can and threw your voice so it sounded like I said "What, @#$%?" Well, yeh… but… I didn't even know you were a ventriloquist. Believe it or not, they've had stranger conversations.
     
367. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-28 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-08 Pub. Date: 2008-01-28
Image Number: 21412
Caption: SQWAWK! BIG L! This big #@$% sho' look dumb widdat bird on he shoulder. Sqwawk!
     
368. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-23 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-23 Pub. Date: 2010-02-23
Image Number: 44346
Caption: Obama's been president for a whole year, the high unemployment is all his fault. No, he inherited this mess from the last administration. Obama's been president for a whole year. The big bank bailouts were all his fault. No, he inherited that mess from the last administration. Obama's been president for a whole year. It's his fault health care costs so much. No, he inherited that mess from the last administration. Obama inherited a successful War in Iraq from the last administration. No, Obama's winning this war. He's been president for a whole year.
     
369. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-06 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-06 Pub. Date: 2010-02-06
Image Number: 43633
Caption: One second after the big bang, the universe had expanded … … And had already created the building blocks of the stars. Yet it takes me five minutes to make a tuna sandwich. Dios mio, Lemont. Let's face it: I'm a slacker, Susan.
     
370. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-04 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-04 Pub. Date: 2010-02-04
Image Number: 43631
Caption: Yeh, Big L. My plan was to pawn your couch an' stuff to raise quick cash for my new business … … then use the profits to buy your stuff back while you was still gone. If you hadn't come back early, the plan was to never let you find out about any of it.
     
371. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-02 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-02 Pub. Date: 2010-02-02
Image Number: 43629
Caption: Y'know my fiancée Roxanne? Big L, you my boy. I was just clowning you all this time, callin' her "evil" and what not. I always liked your girl. She special. You an' she gonna have a happy life together. I just told her I'm leaving her and suing for custody. I always hated that evil (bleep) about time you put her (bleep bleep) in her place. Good talk, Clyde.
     
372. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-01 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-01 Pub. Date: 2010-02-01
Image Number: 43628
Caption: Where you been at, Big L? It's almost like you been gone for days. I've been gone for weeks. You sure? I think I would know. I've lost interest in whatever it was we was talkin' about. I've missed you too, Clyde.
     
373. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-29 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-29 Pub. Date: 2010-01-29
Image Number: 43365
Caption: Roxanne? How'd you get in here? It's way past visiting hours. I just want you to know Daddy took care of your health care bills as a wedding gift. After we're married, Daddy'll teach you the family business, we'll get you a normal haircut, and we'll move to a big house Daddy bought us in posh hills. Oh, Lem-Lem, I'M SO EXCITED!!! Is this a bad time to tell you I've leaving you and suing for custody of Lionel?
     
374. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-18 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-18 Pub. Date: 2010-01-18
Image Number: 43146
Caption: Where is he, Doctor? Can I see him? Yes, but you must brace yourself. Lemont Brown is no longer the man you knew. When paramedics brought him in, he'd been beaten so badly he looked NOTHING like his I.D. … Almost as if a big muscle-man had repeatedly sat on his head. Dear God! His nose! His chin! I can hardly bear to look! He looks ... so ... shifty and untrustworthy now! He's going to need your support.
     
375. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-03 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-03 Pub. Date: 2010-01-03
Image Number: 42488
Caption: You have a deep-seated aversion to … Deep-WHATED? Deep-seated. Are you sure it's not "deep-seeded'? No. I'm sure it's "deep-seated." But that makes no sense. Deep-seeded makes sense. A seed, a germ of a problem planted deep in the soil of the mind ... ... Too deep to find and kill before it sprouts into a big, gangly PROBLEM TREE. (Sigh) Ok. Your aversion to discussion emotion is so "deep-SEEDED" that it manifests itself into endless nitpicking. Gnat-picking would make more sense. I mean, only kids and dogs get nits. EVERYBODY gets gnats.
     
376. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-07 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-07 Pub. Date: 2009-12-07
Image Number: 41699
Caption: Our guest today is Lemont Brown, author of the book "Katrina's Ghost." Why don't you tell us about yourself, Lemont? Golly! Of course, Sadie! First of all … I really AM that nerd Lemont Brown. I am NOT his friend C-Dog, impersonating him on his book tour in order to hide from the big-muscle brother of a chick I've horribly, horribly wronged. We'll be right back. I was born at an early age ...
     
377. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-11-20 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-11-20 Pub. Date: 2009-11-20
Image Number: 40989
Caption: Lemont Brown? Your editor sent me to take you on tour to promote your new book, "Katrina's Ghost." Nah, I'm C-Dog. I'm hidin' in Lemont's crib from some big-muscle brotha. I did his sister wrong. An' now he wanna kill me. You know how is, playa. HEY!!! ARE YOU C-DOG?!!! Golly. No! I'm Lemont Brown! I'd love to chat. But I'm on my way to a book tour. Oprah's waiting, Mr. Brown.
     
378. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-11-17 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-11-17 Pub. Date: 2009-11-17
Image Number: 40986
Caption: You the loser who's doing my little sister wrong? Treating her like she doesn't exist? Probably. Who your sister is? If you don’t start communicating with her like she deserves, I'ma crack your head like a corn nut. Tsk. Don't worry, big man, my momma told me to ALWAYS be communicable to women. ... And that's what I am to ... whatever the @$#% your sister name is. I'm coming over to stand on your face.
     
379. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-11-16 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-11-16 Pub. Date: 2009-11-16
Image Number: 40985
Caption: My big brother says I'm crazy for loving you. I always tell him he just doesn't know you, boo. I love you, C-Dog, 'cause you're so smart and handsome and witty and tall and strong. But how come you never tell me why you love me? Talk about me for once. It's like sometimes you don't even notice me. Thought I heard something buzzing.
     
380. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-10-27 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-10-27 Pub. Date: 2009-10-27
Image Number: 40265
Caption: If you really Lemont from the future, tell me somethin' important. All right. Democrats wimp out, we don't get universal health care … … So a million or so Americans will die prematurely over the next 60 years. One of 'em, ironically, was close to discovering the cure for death. I said important, @#$%! (Sigh) ... In 2015, there'll be a big budget "Gilligan's Island" movie starring Wesley Snipes and Tom Hanks. Now we talkin'. I was hoping my memories of you were distorted by the senility. Will Kanye ever stop bein' a punk-@#$?
     
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