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Candorville

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301. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-27 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-27 Pub. Date: 2012-05-27
Image Number: 80733
Caption: Your only problem, big L, is you think you got a problem. It's like the Buddhists be sayin' … The reality we think we experience is actually just a picture of reality we construct with out mind. You goin' die soon? Uh-uh, "soon" don’t exist. The future just a picture. You in jail? No you ain't. Those bars you see is just a picture in your mind. Thug 4 Life. You can turn prison bars into a garden, just by running Photoshop on them in your head. Thug 4 Life. Whatever. I need those $250 you owe me. Your "need" to pay your rent is just a picture in your head. Ain't you listening? Thug 4 Life.
     
302. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-21 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-21 Pub. Date: 2012-05-21
Image Number: 81177
Caption: Lemme see them want ads when you done, Big L. Um … There aren't any. You lying? You tryna make sure ain't nobody can compete with you? Of course not. Lemme borrow a quarter to get my own paper. There are no quarters.
     
303. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-12 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-12 Pub. Date: 2012-05-12
Image Number: 80673
Caption: Why am I here? Well … I've been insecure about something my whole life. Dr. Noodle. You probably can't guess what it is. Everyone's always told me it's just in my head. But still, sometimes I'm so insecure about it, I won't even go outside. Having a big one's normal. Plenty of five-foot tall men have ones that look like they belong on seven-foot tall men. What? I'm talking about my armpit odor. Oh ... um ... Wait ... what are you getting at?
     
304. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-30 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-30 Pub. Date: 2012-04-30
Image Number: 47221
Caption: Mr. Fitzhugh wants you to WHAT? Take point on the big P.F. Chang's deal in Arizona tomorrow. Did you tell him you didn't want to go to Arizona, not until they repeal that law that might force cops to persecute Latinos? Thank you for the opportunity, Sir. I can't wait! ... I believe my principled stand was wasted on him. (Originally published in 2010)
     
305. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-27 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-27 Pub. Date: 2012-04-27
Image Number: 79774
Caption: Is that roll of sandpaper next to your toilet always there, or do you just break it out for guests? Another stereotype bites the dust. Thug 4 Life. Some of us don't need cotton-puff ultra-soft 6-ply pansy-wipes, Big L. There's literally a role of sandpaper next to your toilet. Look there's just some things you don't want people doing in your house.
     
306. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-20 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-20 Pub. Date: 2012-04-20
Image Number: 79551
Caption: I don’t know why, but most of the guys who write to me on date-a-dude.com turn out to be really big. Tell them your name's "Jenny Craig" and they'll leave you alone. Fat jokes are mean, Lemont. It's only mean to joke about people who're different. Everyone's fat now, so it's ok.
     
307. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-16 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-16 Pub. Date: 2012-04-16
Image Number: 79547
Caption: You got any Purell? Lemme ask you a question, Big L … Thug 4 Life. What do real men like Shaka Zulu, Hercules, Chuck Norris and Jesus have in common? Thug 4 Life. Giant beards? Giant beards? Ain't none of them ever used hand sanitizer. Thug 4 Life.
     
308. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-03-31 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-03-31 Pub. Date: 2012-03-31
Image Number: 77955
Caption: Today. What's the big deal about women not being able to get birth-control coverage from their health insurance? They can always get it from Planned Parenthood. Run! Three weeks ago. I'm glad Governor Nutter wants to defund Planned Parenthood. I hate Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood needs to go. Today. What? Run!
     
309. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-03-11 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-03-11 Pub. Date: 2012-03-11
Image Number: 76814
Caption: I notice you ain't bought my new cd yet. I thought you was supposed to be my friend, Big L. Dang. You know what, Clyde? You're absolutely right. I mean, that'd be just as bad as if, hypothetically speaking, I had written five books over the last few years ... including a new on called "Run! Vampires, Werewolves, the One That Got Away; and Other Demons ... " And you didn't buy any of them. Hypothetically speaking. Glad you agree. I accept cash, cash or cash. Thug 4 life. Dawn. By Butler.
     
310. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-19 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-19 Pub. Date: 2012-02-19
Image Number: 76093
Caption: Case #17700503-E: Clyde "C-Dog" Dogg. Compiled by Federal Agent Eugene O. Murphy. 2:17 - Called "Big L" w/ paranoid theory about gv't spying being "worse than ever." Thug 4 Life. Watched "Gilligan's Island".
     
311. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-04 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-04 Pub. Date: 2012-02-04
Image Number: 75829
Caption: Big L, you doin' wrong, tryna get office jobs and whatnot. You was a journalist. That's WHO you was. You lost your job. You didn’t lose YOU. You need to get back to writing your blog, Big L. Did you know you have over 27,000 emails from readers wondering where you be at? What? Seriously? Wait, how do You know that? That ain't important right now.
     
312. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-03 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-03 Pub. Date: 2012-01-03
Image Number: 74804
Caption: How is it I'm broke? I had three months of savings when I lost my job. It's only been two weeks. I know exactly why you broke, Big L. Well tell me, please. Ok. But first loan me $2. Time.
     
313. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-28 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-28 Pub. Date: 2011-11-28
Image Number: 73556
Caption: 1982. Mrs. Cass just taught us about the big bang. It's how the Universe started, in a big explosion. What exploded? A singularity. Mrs. Cass told us "It's like a zit. You may not know where it came from, but you sure do know when it pops." What's a "zit"? I almost never understand what Mrs. Cass says.
     
314. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-22 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-22 Pub. Date: 2011-11-22
Image Number: 73208
Caption: Where you been, Big L? Well … Roxanne said … … "You may have won custody of Lionel, but you didn’t win custody of his stuff." So I was out buying a crib, a playpen, all sorts of things. I'm picking up Lionel after work today. Cool. What he do for a living? What? What?
     
315. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-21 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-21 Pub. Date: 2011-11-21
Image Number: 73207
Caption: You won custody, but I don’t see you in any big hurry to take your son from your ex. Maybe you only wanted to "win," but you didn’t really want the responsibility. It's only been a day since the ruling. Really? Feels like it's been two weeks. Ok, ok, I'll stop talking about it.
     
316. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-20 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-20 Pub. Date: 2011-11-20
Image Number: 72591
Caption: I'm tired of people comparing Occupy Wall Street to the Tea Party. The two movements couldn't be more different. The Tea Party protests were peaceful gatherings of conservatives who resented big government picking winners and losers and controlling every aspect of our lives. OWS protesters want more government regulation. We tea partiers want government to leave us alone! Plus, these protests are violent. But all the violence is coming from the cops. Hey, they didn't get government permits. Government did what it had to do.
     
317. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-18 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-18 Pub. Date: 2011-10-18
Image Number: 66793
Caption: Apple Co-founder Steve Jobs visits Lemont's dream. How's it feel to have freed the world? Totalitarian governments and oligarchies depend on keeping the common man uninformed. Divided. You gave the common man the means to instantly speak out and organize against oppression. Big Brother's days are numbered thanks to you. You freed the common man. Thanks. You freed everyone but the Chinese slaves who build all your stuff. You need to learn where to end your compliments. Besides, sweatshops and slavery are two different things.
     
318. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-16 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-16 Pub. Date: 2011-10-16
Image Number: 66180
Caption: Dr. Noodle. Nobody talks about me anymore. I'm a has-been. A nobody. Like you. No offense, buddy. None taken. None of the big stores is even mentioning me. Mr. Claus ... you do know it's October, right? Don't rub it in, pal. In the nineties, when things were going great, stores would be all up in my business, talking about me as early as Labor Day. It's tough to cope with the loss of celebrity. But with a lot of hard work, you can avoid the usual downward spiral of booze, womanizing and rehab. Focus on bettering yourself. Shed your anger. Learn yoga. Lose weight. How'd you like a lifetime supply of coal, buddy?
     
319. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-29 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-29 Pub. Date: 2011-09-29
Image Number: 65952
Caption: Art reflect life, Big L. Yeh, I made a video about a brutha dancin' around with his EBT card ... to shine a spotlight on how 1 outta every 7 every Americans is livin' in poverty today. 1 out of every 6.5. Oh, yeh. I forgot some of them bruthas be short. What? What?
     
320. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-28 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-28 Pub. Date: 2011-09-28
Image Number: 65951
Caption: How could you make a YouTube video celebrating EBT food stamp cards? Do you have any idea how this feeds into the stereotype of black people being lazy welfare queens? Most people on welfare, an' most people usin' EBT cards, is white, Big L. But everyone in your video was black! Turns out EBT don't pay for white-face paint.
     
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