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Candorville

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221. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-28 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-28 Pub. Date: 2014-08-28
Image Number: 115531
Caption: C-Dog don’t never dream 'cause dreamin' just make real life worse, Big L. Let's say I dream I can stand on a corner or walk across the street without some cop bothering me. Then I wake up, no matter where I go, there some cop lookin' out his car window at me, just waiting for a reason to "put me in my place." If I don't DREAM things can be better, then I ain't never disappointed. I know what you mean. Last night I dreamt you weren't depressing.
     
222. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-20 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-20 Pub. Date: 2014-08-20
Image Number: 115241
Caption: Robin Williams visits Lemont's dream. Stars die all the time, just like the rest of us. But this one hurts more than usual. I think it's because you, more than any other star, made ME feel BIG. There was always a sadness behind your eyes. And whenever I saw you explode with life despite that, it was like you were fighting sadness and conquering it, and that made me feel like "THIS is what it means to be human." To be honest, sometimes that was just what it meant to earn a living. Hey, don't stop being my metaphor.
     
223. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-18 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-18 Pub. Date: 2014-08-18
Image Number: 115239
Caption: Hwha - ? Who's there? I'll put it this way: Goooood morning Vietnam! Carpe Diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary. To live would be an awfully big adventure. Three wishes, to be exact. And ixnay on the wishing for more wishes. Your move, chief. Kiss my frozen tushie! Kiss it! Kiss it! Doesn't ring a bell. Shazbot.
     
224. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-29 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-29 Pub. Date: 2014-07-29
Image Number: 114481
Caption: Nonviolence only work in certain circumstances, Big L. What do you mean? Worked in the civil rights struggle 'cause we was just demanding what the constitution already said we should have. Worked in South Africa 'cause the oppressed had leaders who didn't recognize the "other side's" right to exist. Ain't NONE a' that goin' on in Palestine, bruh. STOP HOPE-BLOCKING!!!
     
225. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-18 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-18 Pub. Date: 2014-07-18
Image Number: 113736
Caption: Bruthas just don’t dig the outdoors, Big L. That's just a myth, Clyde. According to the Outdoor Recreation Lobby, in 2012 11% of those participating in outdoor activities were black. Black people make up 13.1% of the population, so the numbers are pretty proportional. I Googled it. Bruthas don't Google.
     
226. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-17 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-17 Pub. Date: 2014-07-17
Image Number: 113735
Caption: You know why white people hike a lot more than minorities, Big L? Mythstory - myth an' history. Say "forest" to a white dude, he think of Paul Bunyan an' Davy Crockett. But they ain't no myths about no Tyrone Bunyan or Davy Estevez. Say "forest" to a brutha, he think of Kunta Kinte.
     
227. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-15 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-15 Pub. Date: 2014-07-15
Image Number: 113733
Caption: Yesterday some guy tried to tell me not all shootings at schools are "school shootings." He even said gang-related shootings don't count. What, that surprise you? What country you think you livin' in, Big L? They been shootings in "inner city" schools since the eighties. But America only started caring when white suburban kids started killing too. That's kind of cynical, Clyde. Columbine was the "Elvis" of school shootings.
     
228. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-13 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-13 Pub. Date: 2014-07-13
Image Number: 113038
Caption: Do you remember those five black and latin brothas from New York who was put in jail for assaulting a lady they never met? They sat in jail for years for that 'cause the NYPD was so sure it had to be some brown kids that they didn't bother lookin' no further. The city just had to pay those brothas $40 million 'cause of the injustice of it all. $40 million! Can you beleedat, Big L? They only one thing that would make this story better ... If somebody would pay the lady that got attacked $40 million, too. Who are you and what have you done with the real Clyde? They could also pay me $2 mil for havin' to watch it all on tv back when it happened.
     
229. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-03 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-03 Pub. Date: 2014-07-03
Image Number: 113186
Caption: What's your favorite poem, Clyde? I dig the classics, Big L. "I said a hip … hop … the hippie the hippie … "To the hip hip hop, and you don’t stop, a rock it to the bang bang boogie … "To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat." True story: that's one of the all-time best poems about man's inhumanity toward man.
     
230. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-06 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-06 Pub. Date: 2014-06-06
Image Number: 112091
Caption: Lionel's been asking me about that big bug ever since he saw me pound it 42 times with my shoe. How would YOU teach a two-year-old about DEATH, Clyde? You come to the right place, Big L. I just what to know what NOT to do. You'll need a muppet and a shovel.
     
231. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-18 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-18 Pub. Date: 2014-05-18
Image Number: 110848
Caption: I got so burned the other week when I grabbed my Massacreforce 7 Sr-25 carbine sniper rifle and rushed to support that Cliven Bundy guy. I had no idea he'd turn out to be a big old racist who'd say that "negroes" are lazy, idle porch-sitter who were better off as slaves than they are receiving public assistance. What a fool! What an idiot! We should've used the official code words! You don't say "negroes," you say "inner city." You don't say blacks are lazy parasites who should learn to pick cotton again, you say "the inner city has an 'entitlement culture.'" It's much easier to pretend racism is over when racists aren't so indelicate about it.
     
232. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-28 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-28 Pub. Date: 2014-04-28
Image Number: 110709
Caption: Ahem.* *I wanna apologize for what I said last week, Big L. Snort.* *You're my best friend. I hope you can forgive me. Ahem.* *It's ok, Clyde. You've always been like a brother to me. Cough.* *The kind you keep in the attic and don’t tell anyone about.
     
233. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-24 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-24 Pub. Date: 2014-04-24
Image Number: 110446
Caption: So you sayin' my boy Big L was overreactin' when he said I "don't exist" to him no more? Of course, pookie. A friend shouldn’t just erase you from his life just 'cause you said something he didn’t like. You and I should talk more often, girl. On the other hand, maybe joking about someone's kid wasn't the best thing to do. Hello? Did you hear me? Almost sound like somebody talkin'.
     
234. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-23 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-23 Pub. Date: 2014-04-23
Image Number: 110445
Caption: Where you goin', Big L? I was only kidding. That's not "kidding." "Kidding" is saying "there's something on your face" when there really isn't. "Kidding" is NOT saying "I didn’t realize you left your toddler with me. I haven't seen him all day." Do erebody lose they sense of humor when they become parents? You're dead to me, Clyde.
     
235. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-14 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-14 Pub. Date: 2014-04-14
Image Number: 110106
Caption: You have any plans today, Clyde? Nah dawg, that ain't how it go. The C-Dog don’t make plans, Big L. You make a plan, you spend all day tryin' to make that plan happen. … An' you fail to capitalize on the dozens of random opportunities that come outta no place ereday. Plans is for the lazy.
     
236. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-10 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-10 Pub. Date: 2014-04-10
Image Number: 109842
Caption: Are you a big boy now, son? Or are you still a little baby? Big Boy. You know what big boys do, son? They go straight to sleep instead of jumping up and down on their beds and keeping their parents up all night long. Agoo. "AGOO," I thay. Too late.
     
237. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-01 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-01 Pub. Date: 2014-04-01
Image Number: 109562
Caption: Clyde, do you think it's weird I keep a journal of all my son's firsts? First laugh, for prank, etc … ? It ain't weird, Big L. It's stupid. You settin' your boy up to be demonized. What happen if someday he mindin' his own business an' get shot by George Zimmerman? Erebody gonna look through that journal. They gonna say "he fibbed when he was two. What a thug." I told you, stop being right. It's weird.
     
238. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-21 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-21 Pub. Date: 2014-03-21
Image Number: 108867
Caption: I agree with Clyde, the Republicans are going to win BIG this year. Fear. Unlimited funds. Embarrassing launch of Obamacare … All the pieces are in place for a checkmate in six moves, followed by the traditional public pantsing of the loser. Thanks for reminding me why I never play chess with you.
     
239. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-20 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-20 Pub. Date: 2014-03-20
Image Number: 108866
Caption: Have you signed up for Obamacare yet? #@$% no. Republicans gonna win big in November. Then they gonna kill Obamacare. So if I sign up for it an' like it, I'll be disappointed when I lose it. That's not the dumbest reason I've heard. You gotta work on your compliments.
     
240. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-19 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-19 Pub. Date: 2014-03-19
Image Number: 108865
Caption: Why do you keep walking two feet ahead of me, Clyde? I don’t know what you talkin' 'bout, Big L. It's almost like you're trying to put on some primal show of dominance. Like you're trying to be the alpha male here. You always over-thinkin' things, bruh. Then how come you sped up as soon as I got next to you? Two words: "your" an' "breath." ... An' "stank."
     
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