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Rudy Park

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Result page:    2  3  4  Next  (78 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-24 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-24 Pub. Date: 2017-09-24
Image Number: 162444
Caption: What brings you to therapy, Mr. Groupeé? You can call me "Booster." Dr. Noodle. Hey, who was that who just left your office? Was that that historian I saw on TV? Herodotus Jenkins? I can't say. He's the best. He come here this time every week? I can't say. And who's that out in the waiting room? Is that Brock Manly of "Fast & Furious 12" fame? I can't say. What brings you here? I heard you treat all the famous people. I just thought it might be nice to know the rich and famous are as messed up as me. This is a space for discussing you, not other people. I hear you, I hear you. What'd Brock Manly say when you told him that?
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-17 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-17 Pub. Date: 2017-09-17
Image Number: 162203
Caption: My Youtube channel's taking off. Mine too, little buddy. You have a Youtube channel? Of course, it's got 12.8 million subscribers. I accompanies my best-selling MANuals book series. I post a video per day. There's "Pickup Artist Mondays," "Man-Grooming Tuesdays," "Relationship Escape-Artist Wednesdays" ... "Become an Alpha in Five Minutes Thursdays" ... "New Advances in Speedos Fridays," and "Using Quantum Physics and the Multiverse Theory to Explain Why that Lady She Caught You with was Actually an Alternate Reality Version of Your Girlfriend So it's OK Saturdays." In other words, Saturdays are just fun stories about dumb guys who couldn't get away with dumb things. Viewership spikes to about 15 mil for those. Well ... anyway, like I was saying ... I'm just 87 subscribers away from hitting the 100-subscriber mark. Cool ... Hey, can I feature you on an upcoming "Stop Embarrassing Yourself Sunday"?
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-31 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-31 Pub. Date: 2017-07-31
Image Number: 161036
Caption: Hey boss, it's July 31st. A couple years ago, you said come back July 31, 2017, and we could talk about you giving me a raise. Yes, but that was predicated on the notion that you'd need a raise by now. I see you're still alive. Clearly you haven't starved to death. You smell minty-fresh, so clearly you haven't been forced out into the streets. Karl Marx said it best: "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need." I'm pretty sure that is not what Marx meant.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-24 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-24 Pub. Date: 2017-07-24
Image Number: 160763
Caption: All you young people keep whining about the country being "divided." You don't know what "divided" is. Grandmother Cohen was a general in the Union army. Her sister was a Confederate general. They didn't let women fight in the Civil War. Of course not. But as luck would have it, Great Grandmother Cohen was the best fake-beard-maker in the land. Nobody ever dared ask "Stonewall Jackson" why "he" often wore his hair in a bun. The history books always leave out the best parts.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-09 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-09 Pub. Date: 2017-07-09
Image Number: 159560
Caption: Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Hello handsome Sadie, It's Timona here greeting you from Kiev, Ukraine. Yeah we are in great political turmoil right now, but I will let you in on a secret since we are old friends. Now is the best time for to invest in the Ukraine real estate. In 2005, for inspect, a 71 sq. meter abode sold for $7,500 US Dollars. Today it sell for at only $1,100 US Dollars. Lovely school for to nearby, as well as charming Mall within walking distance with has all the conveniences. Keep this amazing opportunity quiet. I only tell YOU because of that time we made that amazing connection. You friend, Timona. Click here for to house buy. Excellent questions. I get letters like this all the time ever since I publicly announced my email address. It reminds me of the time I hired a 17-year-old nerd to track down a spammer's true IP address, name, birthdate, physical address, and bank account number ... and shipped the spammer two tons of manure purchased with his entire life savings. It cost me a vinyl record, a Mountain Dew and a crate of Cheetos, but it was worth it. Ask Sadie a question (but be careful) at asksadie@rudypark.com.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-08 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-08 Pub. Date: 2017-07-08
Image Number: 159996
Caption: Tonight, on "Cops," a local man leads police on a high-speed chase through Best Buy. It all began when clerks notices he was coming in every day to upgrade different obsolete items. When he ran out of his own obsolete hardware, he began rummaging through other customers' pockets looking for old cellphones to upgrade. He zoomed free, but cops had no trouble tracking the perp down. Please don't be Rudy. Please don't be Rudy. Please don't -- Maybe next time "Rudy" will think twice before personalizing his Segway's license plate.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-16 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-16 Pub. Date: 2017-06-16
Image Number: 159167
Caption: Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I'm in love with my brother's wife. What's the best way to ask her out? Posthumously. No, seriously. I can see myself spending the rest of my life with her. That just may end up being a beautiful five minutes.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-04 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-04 Pub. Date: 2017-06-04
Image Number: 158198
Caption: I've never been in here before. What's your best drink? That'd be the Gambler's Mocha. Sounds interesting. What's in it? Oh … a little of this, a little of that. For all you know, it's a smooth blend of hand-mixed Amedei Porcelana dark chocolate from Tuscany ... and Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee beans, hand-picked by sherpas 5,000 feet above sea level precisely at sunset ... topped with a light whip of frozen Arctic sea foam, and black diamond cream from Dubai ... for all you know ... Or it could be day-old sludge made with tap water from Flint? I thought you said you'd never been here before. Siri, where's the nearest Starbucks?
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-09 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-09 Pub. Date: 2017-04-09
Image Number: 156035
Caption: Open Mike Night Presents the Comedy Stylings of Rudy Park. Did you hear about the iPhone that hired the best wedding planner in the country because it wanted a great reception? Clap. And then there was the autocorrect programmer who got rejected when he asked a lady out on a debate. The romance didn't last long when the cable tv box found out how spacey the satellite tv box was. Get off the stage! The one who invented binary code was a real zero. Boo. Hiss. I don't even get that one, and I'm glad.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-02 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-02 Pub. Date: 2017-04-02
Image Number: 155501
Caption: I have a date tonight. She's coming over. I need to get home and clean it all up. Not so fast, little buddy. Cleaning is a delicate art. Clean too little, and she thinks you're a slob. Clean too much, and she thinks you're hiding something. It's almost as if you haven't read chapter 7 of the manual. What manual? "Mancleaning: By Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." You wrote a whole book about cleaning? It's the follow-up to "How to Reach the Tenth Level of Passion by Feng Shui-ing Your Dust Bunnies." It's all part of my best-selling "MAN-ual" series.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-09 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-09 Pub. Date: 2017-03-09
Image Number: 155394
Caption: Randy, if you could be any animal there is, which one would you be? Easy: I'd be a Bonobo monkey. But not just any Bonobo monkey, I'd be the king of all Bonobo monkeys. They resolve all their conflicts with a little good, old-fashioned, hot, steamy lovin'. They're the best animal to be. DO you agree? Totally, of course. No conflict here.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-21 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-21 Pub. Date: 2017-01-21
Image Number: 153433
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: The Talk. Specifically, how to have "the talk" with your younguns before they hear about it on the streets or from their president. The best thing to do is to use the tried and true Cohen method: Teach your child that within the pants of every member of the opposite sex lurks a monster that'll drain them of ambition, turn them into mindless automatons, and cause them to make fools of themselves. I'm talking, of course, about iPhones. Keep your younguns off the tweeter-machine!
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-13 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-13 Pub. Date: 2017-01-13
Image Number: 153096
Caption: You know what I like best about fake news, Randy? It can be crazy and have shady sources and be obviously nothing but nonsense, and it'll still be believed. Like that fake story about Saddam Hussein and those weapons of mass destruction and stuff. Fake news is only "fake news" if it's not from people who say they're real news. You can't tell me Wolf Blitzer's beard is real.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-07 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-07 Pub. Date: 2016-12-07
Image Number: 151821
Caption: What's the best way to distract people when they're mad at you? Simple, little buddy. I cock my head to the side, smile, and say "guilty as charged." Then I ask for their phone number. This tends to fill them with hopeful anticipation. And it's a well-known fact that you can't hold both hopeful anticipation and recrimination in your brain at the same time. When I said "You," I meant *me*, not *you*. Oh. In that case, you might want to try begging forgiveness.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-27 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-27 Pub. Date: 2016-11-27
Image Number: 150586
Caption: You've reached Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you? It's an emergency, Doctor Randy! I see a beautiful, sexy, confident, smiling lady at the end of the bar. Hold on, she … yeah she totally just looked at me. What do I do? Absolutely nothing. It took you 6.2 seconds to tell me she looked at you and to ask me what you should do about it. My exhaustive research has proven a man has only six seconds to respond affirmatively to a look of interest. After that, he'll either lose his nerve or whatever response he gives will seem rehearsed. Your best move now is Randy's Recovery #67: First, gaze off into the distance as if you're a tortured soul deep in self-reflection ... I can do that.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-23 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-23 Pub. Date: 2016-11-23
Image Number: 151308
Caption: Did you ever have a bff, Sadie? Several. But not a single one of those ninnies held up their end of the deal. What do you mean? Did they betray you? Did they come to their senses and unfriend you? No. They died. All my bffs have died on me. So watch yourself or I'll bff you next. The term's not usually used as a threat.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-14 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-14 Pub. Date: 2016-11-14
Image Number: 151036
Caption: I'm going to miss having a cool president. He didn't walk, he strutted. Reminded me of John Travolta in his prime. The best part of the Saturday Night Fever sequel is the end, where Travolta wins and then struts out into the night to that Bee Gees song. If they don't play "Stayin' Alive" as Obama walks to that helicopter and waves goodbye on inauguration day, it'll be a crime. Sorry, I don't get any references older than my iPhone.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-11 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-11 Pub. Date: 2016-11-11
Image Number: 150764
Caption: Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out of my life. She and he were always a little too close anyway. - C. Post, Seattle WA. Maybe for my midlife crisis, I'll try oversharing! It seems to make you happy. Advise Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-05 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-05 Pub. Date: 2016-09-05
Image Number: 148226
Caption: Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally. I've topped myself, minion. It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence; we have to simultaneously tear down the competition. Behold: My masterpiece. "100 percent of those who drink coffee King's coffee will die." Best part is it's technically true.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-28 best 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-28 Pub. Date: 2016-08-28
Image Number: 146881
Caption: I'm tired of working, Randy. One of my ancestors put it best. It was the early days of the Roman republic. Randius Taylorus Maximus was a soldier in the Roman phalanx. That bored him to death. All the clumsy formations, all the cumbersome gear, all the losing ... so he deserted and joined up with the Spartans. That's where he stopped "working" for a living, and got to do what he loved. He got to oil up and go into battle half-naked, with nothing but his shield, his sword and his loincloth. Years later, he adventured across the world on the back of Tito, the last living woolly mammoth. That's when he met Buddha, who took credit for Randius' motto: "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." I just meant I felt like taking a nap.
     
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