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1. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-21 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-21 |
| Image Number: |
176400 |
| Caption: |
Would you like to donate to my campaign for health commissioner? Not ever. Your arch-conservative laissez-faire values will let companies run roughshod over consumers. The only thing you'll make healthy are corporate coffers! Quite clever, no? Whatever. I take cash or checks.
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2. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-20 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-20 |
| Image Number: |
176399 |
| Caption: |
What qualifies you to run for health commissioner? Lack of experience. I'm not involved in the restaurant, nutritional or hospital industries. Therefore I won't be tempted to meddle like some liberal government obstructionist. My ignorance is the free market's gain! Suddenly, I feel euphoric and I don't know why.
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3. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-19 |
| Image Number: |
176398 |
| Caption: |
I'm declaring my candidacy. For what? Health Commissioner of Candorville, the fine nearly township from whence my clan hails. I'm going to right the ship of America. Bring it on, whiny Democrats! I miss the jungle.
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4. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-18 |
| Image Number: |
176397 |
| Caption: |
Values. Pardon? Core values. Family values. Unassailable bedrock conservative values. That's it. That's the one. That's my slogan. Guess who's running for office. Something bad is happening.
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5. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-17 |
| Image Number: |
176086 |
| Caption: |
It's the Fad Herald. I should've upgraded my phone. Hear ye. Today, a special announcement. The following is now in: Hope. Until further notice, that tingly, expectant feeling you're experiencing may be interpreted as optimism, mild euphoria, the illusion of better times ahead. Wow. Now that you mention it. Cool. Wait ... What do you man by illusion? Looking ahead to 2020 trends: Disappointment. Nah. We'll be fine, I'm sure.
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6. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-16 |
| Image Number: |
176310 |
| Caption: |
Do I really offend people all the time? You're too honest. People are different from other animals. Other animals like the truth, but people are very touchy. They like their information sugar-coated. Do you see? But what about Dr. Phil? Precisely. He's almost certainly part jungle creature.
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7. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-15 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-15 |
| Image Number: |
176309 |
| Caption: |
Stop bothering the patrons. Me? You can't just go saying whatever is on your mind. You can't tell people that coffee makes you sick, or beef is being recalled or that they're bad dressers. It offends people. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend your over sensitive, somewhat feminine nature. That's what I'm talking about! What'd I say?
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8. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-14 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-14 |
| Image Number: |
176308 |
| Caption: |
You're a workaholic. You're a downer. Really? Do you mean that? I thought I was just making conversation. I would never have said you're a tightly wound corporate drone. If I'd have though it would bother you. Maybe it's you. Just keep digging.
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9. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-13 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-13 |
| Image Number: |
176307 |
| Caption: |
I'm Herbert. Darlene. I'm busy. I noticed that. You look intense. Are you one of those people working herself to death? You're not going to have a heart attack or something? I'd just hate to witness a horrible event like that. It would be very rude of you, frankly. Not enjoying the conversation.
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10. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-12 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-12 |
| Image Number: |
176306 |
| Caption: |
Are you going to finish your pie? Why? You want the last bite? Not at all. I wouldn't put the gelatinous crud in my body, especially since some café worker probably sneezed on it. You have no idea what sort of ingredients they put in restaurant food. Do they even wash the insects here? I like washed insects. Extremely grossed out.
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11. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-11 |
| Image Number: |
176293 |
| Caption: |
Coffee gives me the runs. What? Especially espresso, and hot cocoa, and decaf. Talk about your horrific gastrointestinal experience. Anyhow, what did you get? Not as easy to make small talk at a café as I expected.
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12. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-10 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-10 |
| Image Number: |
175961 |
| Caption: |
Up next, a special report: Insomnia, The Silent Killer. Research shows that 54 percent of American adults suffer a sleeping disorder. Side effects can include lost work productivity, depression, increased heart risk … gum disease, petulance, flatulence, Ebola virus, premature writhing death. So get into bed, close your eyes, drift away, and get some rest. No pressure.
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13. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-09 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-09 |
| Image Number: |
176187 |
| Caption: |
You stink at Halo 5. I have no thumbs!
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14. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-08 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-08 |
| Image Number: |
176186 |
| Caption: |
I feel so blindsided. Laurel has a talking pet gerbil named Herbert. So? She wants to create a little family - the two of us, Herbert and Mortkey. On day, we're just two young lovers dating. The next: Boom! I'm cleaning Herbert's litter box.
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15. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-07 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-07 |
| Image Number: |
176185 |
| Caption: |
I want to introduce Herbert to your pet monkey. Mortkey? He's not my pet. He can be Herbert's new friend - His first talking animal friend. They'll be like brothers. Herbert will be so much less lonely. Wait! Unless … Does Mortkey eat a lot of rodent? Sadly, he's a vegan.
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16. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-06 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-06 |
| Image Number: |
176184 |
| Caption: |
I've been wanting to introduce you to Herbert for months. I didn't want to scare you. Don't be silly. So what if I've discovered my girlfriend has secretly raised a talking gerbil she pampers, gives back rubs to, and debates international politics with. What's so strange about that? So you're good with it. Get me Dr. Phil.
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17. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-05 |
| Image Number: |
176183 |
| Caption: |
What do you call a dangerous fish that drinks too much? A Beer-a-cuda. Okay, then you tell one, funny-man.
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18. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-04 |
| Image Number: |
176182 |
| Caption: |
Rudy, I want you to get to know my pet gerbil. I think I'm catching a cold. He's not good in new situations. I can hear you. This is weird. Don't freak out, Rudy. Trust me, it's all very normal. Want a hand bath? I want a Kleenex. Help.
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19. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-03 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-03 |
| Image Number: |
175852 |
| Caption: |
Ask Sadie! I'm 50, reasonably attractive and intelligent, but I haven't had a date in 19 years. How do I get back into the dating scene? - KC, Tacoma, WA** **actual reader question. KC, you've been out of the game for a bit, but don't be afraid to use the latest technology. First, find someone you like, then write them an email in which you explain your feelings. And threaten that if they refuse your overture, you'll dig into their past and expose their legal, personal and financial failings to the world over the world wide internet. Love can be so much more exciting in the modern age. Ask Sadie. Spreading the word of hope and live in the modern world.
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20. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-02 |
| Image Number: |
176042 |
| Caption: |
Your parents created a talking gerbil to save their marriage? That's the gist of it. And it didn't work. They found that a talking gerbil can't help people overcome their real differences. It's all my fault. It's all my fault. If only I'd been a better rodent. Oh, how I used to talk back. Too weird. Still like me?
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