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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about bells.

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141. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-29 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-29 Pub. Date: 2019-06-29
Image Number: 178260
Caption: Have you ever thought of being a nun, Sadie? Of course. Years ago I dreamt of converting and becoming a cloistered nun. I thought it would be the one vocation that would take advantage of all my talents. But that was before I discovered that nuns being abusive, vindictive, soul-crushing harpies was just a stereotype. Besides, the vow of chastity would've put a serious hitch in my get-along. Conversation over now.
     
142. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-28 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-28 Pub. Date: 2019-06-28
Image Number: 178259
Caption: People will normalize anything, Clyde. If I told you 20 years ago we'd be bombing 7 or 8 countries, jailing babies, and electing bigoted game show hosts as president … you'd probably have had me committed. Nah I'd have turned you out like I did just here. 20 years from now scares me.
     
143. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-27 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-27 Pub. Date: 2019-06-27
Image Number: 178258
Caption: Germany, 1933 … I'm tired of you calling the places where we house Jewish people concentration camps. That diminishes the atrocity those barbaric British in South Africa did to the Boer people in their actual concentration camps. That could never happen here. You owe the Boer people an apology. Gute nacht opa.
     
144. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-26 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-26 Pub. Date: 2019-06-26
Image Number: 178257
Caption: As I was saying, you can't call what we have concentration camps because that diminishes what happened in the Holocaust. Never again means never again will we let people commit genocide. I always thought it meant never again will we let people even begin to do things that led to genocide ... like calling people an infestation and locking them in camps. You thought wrong.
     
145. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-25 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-25 Pub. Date: 2019-06-25
Image Number: 178256
Caption: You know why else our cozy camps aren't concentration camps? Did you just say cozy camps? Yes. How else would you describe camps where thousands and thousands of people get to cuddle in cages to house much fewer … where we intern tiny tots, and where scarce resources have so far cause the gentle parting of 30 adults and children (that we know of)? Gentle part- ... do you mean death? I mean expiration.
     
146. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-24 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-24 Pub. Date: 2019-06-24
Image Number: 178240
Caption: I'm tired of people calling the places where we imprison refugees and the children we took from them concentration camps. So what if they meet the dictionary definition of concentration camp. Did you just think quotation marks around dictionary? We don't know that I did that.
     
147. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-23 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-23 Pub. Date: 2019-06-23
Image Number: 178215
Caption: One pair of Levis, please. Which cut? Extra-slim cut. Ripped or not ripped? What? Smooth or corrugated? Uniform or multicolored? Studded or non-studded? Built-in-Millennial-charger-pocket or Boomer regular? MAGA red or Dem lining. Just plain old regular jeans. That'll be $250. What?! Special order. We don't make 'em anymore.
     
148. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-22 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-22 Pub. Date: 2019-06-22
Image Number: 178165
Caption: Sir, what do you mean you restored the YouTube ad budget? I canceled that because our ads were running on white supremacist videos, and not on anti white-supremacist videos! We don't discriminate against minorities, Garcia. Not even against bigot-Americans. They're not a minority! That's it. I'm sending you to insensitivity training.
     
149. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-21 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-21 Pub. Date: 2019-06-21
Image Number: 178164
Caption: We cut our ad budget for YouTube because of all the hate for hate of hate content. You … what? Well, first they demonetized a few bigots and white supremacists so our ads wouldn't run on their filth. We thought that was fine. But then they also demonetizes people who made videos opposing those bigots. As if both sides were equally bad. I'm so tired of both-side-ism ... on both sides. Stop that.
     
150. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-20 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-20 Pub. Date: 2019-06-20
Image Number: 178163
Caption: When are they going to impeach President Trump already? I'm so over all this. Hey … Better be careful. Doesn’t your ad agency handle government accounts? It's just you and me, here … and our cellphones. And drones. And parabolic receivers. And a government that uses all of them ... and snooping neighbors. As I said, impeachment is totally unnecessary and wrong. What was that?
     
151. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-19 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-19 Pub. Date: 2019-06-19
Image Number: 178162
Caption: I read the President's going to start keeping migrant kids at Fort Sill … one of the concentration camps where we kept Japanese Americans during World War II. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. Santayana. It's one of the most-repeated quotes ever ... which means all of mankind probably needs to see a ... what do you call a memory-doctor? I forget.
     
152. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-18 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-18 Pub. Date: 2019-06-18
Image Number: 178161
Caption: Someone posted a video of themselves all dressed in camo … wearing night vision goggles and hunting hogs, dogs and other wild animals. It made me wonder: Do you think hippos and tapeworms brag to each other every time they take one of us out? I wonder what they'd upload to youtube ... if they had fingers and thumbs.
     
153. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-17 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-17 Pub. Date: 2019-06-17
Image Number: 178142
Caption: White supremacist moves into town … Florida teen accused of posing as a doctor. Denies diagnosing patients … Middle school teacher secretly ran white supremacist podcast … AR-15 rifles to protect crops from hogs … What on earth do you Google that makes youtube think you want to watch all that? The most inbred people of all time.
     
154. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-16 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-16 Pub. Date: 2019-06-16
Image Number: 178092
Caption: Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are all confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout, they're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions. Those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't so bad. Just tell them you were being sarcastic. Ok. Oh no! Now they're saying I'm being defensive and must have something to hide! Say the media took you our of context. Ok. Oh no!
     
155. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-15 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-15 Pub. Date: 2019-06-15
Image Number: 178025
Caption: I've totally forgotten why I ever started coming here. Dr. Noodle. I guess that means I'm cured, right? I mean, whatever it was, it must not be bothering me anymore. M.A. Actually, it's more likely you've repressed the memory. Stored it away where it can't hurt you ... or so you think. But don't worry, with an extra session per week, we can tackle this setback together. I'm going to miss you, Doc.
     
156. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-14 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-14 Pub. Date: 2019-06-14
Image Number: 178024
Caption: A book agent who follows my work has been asking to rep me for the last five years. And I keep saying no. I already publish my own books. That way, I have total control. Nobody can tell me what the book should be about. Nobody can give me some artificial deadline. Nobody can ... tell me what my book cover should look like. Nobody can reject your work. I've always felt really strongly about covers, Susan.
     
157. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-13 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-13 Pub. Date: 2019-06-13
Image Number: 178023
Caption: I've narrowed down the list of who I want to write the foreword to my next book, Clyde. The ones that made the cut are Slimeball, Slippery James, Puppet Jones, Lamb the Sham, McMuffin, Fat Jerry, Crazy Nancy, Wacky Jacky, Pencil Neck, Mr. Magoo, Dumb as a Rock, and Mr. Peepers. I would've chosen The Dumbest Man on Television, but he was kind of standoffish when we met. Psycho Joe was surprisingly friendly. In other words, you still upset the President ain't nicknamed you.
     
158. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-12 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-12 Pub. Date: 2019-06-12
Image Number: 178022
Caption: What do you mean? I mean, you need an assistant, bruh. For what? I write all my site's articles, I take all the photos, I film all the videos, I sell all the ads … and everything's just how I like it. Then I get someone to do all the unimportant @#$%, like gettin' you lunch. Last time I did that, my lunches kept coming half-eaten. No, I told you, that's how they made it.
     
159. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-11 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-11 Pub. Date: 2019-06-11
Image Number: 178021
Caption: I was standing by my car when some lady poked me in my bottom. You don't have no car, Big L. If one part of your story a lie, then can't nothin' 'bout the rest of the story be trusted. It's called an Uber, Clyde. No, it's called goosing. What? What?
     
160. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-10 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-10 Pub. Date: 2019-06-10
Image Number: 178020
Caption: … So I said Yeah, I self-publish my own books. You know why? … Because it's not 1950 anymore. By self-publishing I keep all the profits. And since most people buy online, I can sell just as many books as a traditional publisher … So stop mocking for it. Bruh ... that was no way to talk to your momma.
     
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