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Candorville

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-24 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-24 Pub. Date: 2019-04-24
Image Number: 177325
Caption: I interviewed President Trump the other day. He still really believes he only lost the popular vote because there were up to 5 million illegal votes … even though there's zero evidence of that. It didn't make sense 'til yesterday. Remember that line from the Seinfeld rerun we saw last night? A lie is not a lie if you believe it. America elected George Costanza president.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-02 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-02 Pub. Date: 2019-03-02
Image Number: 176502
Caption: What I believe. Part 480. My child is me. His body came first from me. His thoughts began as a reaction to me and to the world as I introduced it to him. When he judges me, I'm being judged but the most honest, innocent part of myself … So maybe my butt really IS getting big.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-25 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-25 Pub. Date: 2019-02-25
Image Number: 176497
Caption: What I believe. Part 479. I believe we're not the only species on Earth that reasons, that dreams, that loves, and that suffers. I believe that EVERY animal is sentient … Except for the tasty ones.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-22 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-22 Pub. Date: 2018-12-22
Image Number: 175484
Caption: I don't believe in voting for the lesser of two evils. I also don't believe in voting, through inaction, for the greater of two evils. That's why I'm voting for me. Me is the paragon of virtue. How could you be the paragon of virtue when I'm the paragon of virtue? (This cartoon was previously published on 2016-10-28)
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-05 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-05 Pub. Date: 2018-06-05
Image Number: 172069
Caption: Did you feel the earth shake last night, Rosencrantz? I did, Tyrone. But to be honest, I don't know if I really felt it or if I only now believe I felt it because your query planted the thought in my brain. Nonsense. You are you own person. You thoughts are your own. I could never substitute my will for your own. You're right. I stand corrected.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-08 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-08 Pub. Date: 2018-02-08
Image Number: 168183
Caption: What do you mean, do I believe aliens abduct people? You talkin' Donald Trump aliens, or is you talkin' Men in Black aliens? More like Fire in the Sky aliens, as seen in the 1993 film that's based on an actual account. I just think if that eyeball scene is real, it would explain why the whole country's so cranky. You spendin' way too much time on Youtube.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-06 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-06 Pub. Date: 2018-01-06
Image Number: 166784
Caption: 1982. Do you believe in life after death, Susan? Of course. Me too. It's the first law of thermal dynamics. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it can only transmogrify into something else … like a sea anemone. I've decided I'll be a sea anemone. Not a care in the world, it's be a welcome interlude between this life and my next one where I'm a Jedi. I don't know if you get to choose what happens to your energy, Lemont. No offense, but I think Obi-Wan and Yoda know more about that than you do.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-13 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-13 Pub. Date: 2017-10-13
Image Number: 163632
Caption: Rosencrantz, do you believe every exit is an entrance to somewhere new? I once believed such a thing, until I encountered a revolving doorway and realized it was possible for me to both exit and enter the same place at once. My eyes were suddenly opened to the thought that opposites are the same. Entering, exiting ... action, inaction ... Forgetting your companion's birthday and remembering it ... I'm still hurt, Tyrone.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-22 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-22 Pub. Date: 2017-08-22
Image Number: 161801
Caption: I posted an article on Candorville.com about how the terms "cuck," "beta," SJW" and "virtue-signalling" were essential to the resurgence of white supremacists. It's an old Nazi tactic from the 1930s. When you beliefs are morally indefensible, just label those who oppose you with belittling code words ... code words that make opposing you seen uncool. They also popularized "libtard", "snowflake," "white genocide," "neoreactionary multiculturalist" ... "Neoreactionary multiculturalist"? They considered shortening it to "Nemo," but then they heard Disney was litigious.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-19 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-19 Pub. Date: 2017-02-19
Image Number: 154023
Caption: What brings you back to therapy? I have a tough time figuring out whom to trust. I read on Facebook that Hillary Clinton was part of a secret group that baked little kittens into pies. And I believed it. But then I read on my Twitter that Facebook was full of fake news, so I believed that and stopped believing the kitten pie story. Then someone at my wife's work sent me an anonymous email telling me she was cheating on me, and I believed it. But then she told me not to worry because the guys she takes weekly business trips with is gay ... and I believed it. I think I have some horrible disorder where I believe whatever the last person told me. I don't think so. Me neither.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-31 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-31 Pub. Date: 2017-01-31
Image Number: 153972
Caption: I interviewed President Trump the other day. I think he really believes he only lost the popular vote because there were up to 5 million illegal votes … even though there's zero evidence of that. It didn't make sense 'til yesterday. Remember that line from the Seinfeld rerun we saw last night? "A lie is not a lie if you believe it." America elected George Costanza president.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-12 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-12 Pub. Date: 2016-11-12
Image Number: 150717
Caption: 1982. Do you believe in E.T.'s, Lemont? I believe in everything, Susan. Ghosts? Check. Vampires? Check. Frankenstein? Check. Bigfoot? Check. Mummies? Check. Time travel? Check. Atlantis? No. Wait … check. Then Mrs. Washington is dead wrong about you. I AM a well-rounded individual.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-28 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-28 Pub. Date: 2016-10-28
Image Number: 150198
Caption: I don't believe in voting for the lesser of two evils. I also don't believe in voting, through inaction, for the greater of two evils. That's why I'm voting for me. Me is the paragon of virtue. How could you be the paragon of virtue when I'm the paragon of virtue?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-07 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-07 Pub. Date: 2016-04-07
Image Number: 141504
Caption: Your boy George Berkeley be trippin', Big L. Thinkin' he proved the existence of God. He argued the only thing we can be sure exist in our own minds. But because there got to be things in the universe we ain't never thought of … that must mean there must be some all-seeing "God" out there, in whose mind erething exist. Later philosophers poked holes in that theory and what have you done, Clyde? That between my mind an' the big mind in the sky.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-21 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-21 Pub. Date: 2016-03-21
Image Number: 140808
Caption: People keep gettin' beat up at Trump rallies. All them people is stupid beyond belief. That's not fair, Clyde. How were they supposed to know they'd get beat up just for speaking their minds? That's not supposed to happen here. This is America. That's what I mean: this America, bruh. Why they ain't sued Trump for some of his $10 billion by now? That's ... well, ok. Yeah.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-20 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-20 Pub. Date: 2016-02-20
Image Number: 139239
Caption: You look happy, Lemont. I am happy! Because I just had an epiphany! The reason I keep choosing the wrong women, the wrong job, the wrong friends, the wrong toilet paper … it's because I just don't believe I deserve to be happy! Finding out I can't stand to be happy makes me very happy. Which ... makes me miserable.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-17 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-17 Pub. Date: 2016-02-17
Image Number: 139236
Caption: When I was little, I used to dream about a past life. I totally believe that. I used to, too. I would often sing a strange song in my sleep. Papi recorded it one night and brought it to a linguist. He recognized it as the language Nahuatl. From my dreams and the song, we deduced that I was an ancient Aztec warrior, living on one of the islands of Tenochtitlan. Apparently I led some sort of insurrection against the Spanish. In my past life, I was a hedgehog.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-27 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-27 Pub. Date: 2015-05-27
Image Number: 127502
Caption: Most people don't care about reality. They just create their own realities, whether facts and data back them up or not. I spent half an hour arguing with some nutjob online who insisted that most people hated the "Man of Steel" movie. I sent him a link to the enormous box-office take. He said that proved nothing. I sent him a link showing 74% of viewers like it. He still said most people hated it. Do you have any data that shows "most people" do that? Of course. No.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-04 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-04 Pub. Date: 2015-03-04
Image Number: 123664
Caption: I don’t believe in past lives. But I have memories of things I couldn’t possibly have done. One of my most vivid memories is of sitting along the banks of the Nile River, begging for alms from passing sheep herders. Hmmm … One of MY most vivid memories is of being a wealthy sheep herder, and having all my sheep kick up mud onto a beggar. Just because I thought it'd be funny. Coincidence, I'm sure. But that may explain why I've never like being covered in mud. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-03-20).
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-03 belief 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-03 Pub. Date: 2015-03-03
Image Number: 123663
Caption: Who is to say that the natural is any more real than the supernatural? My eyes. I believe what I can see, hear and feel. The existence of anything more is delusional conjecture. Oh really, Rosencrantz? You can't see, hear or feel your future … Don't you believe your future exists? You have just made me very, very depressed. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-03-19).
     
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