Moose is an environmental nightmare, Nana. I beg your pardon? The beef and cereal in his chow is worth 10,000 SUV miles. But consider his offsets. He cleans my floor with natural solvents. I don't need a power-sucking burglar alarm. He listens to all my problems, free of charge. And he saves me from having to join a gym. SO ... I am not ... reducing my canine footprint.
Why can't we go vegetarian, mom? It's not so easy. You're letting the giant forces of agribusiness run your life! Mo-om! Dad and I are starving! Where's the beef? It's the smaller forces of agri-vation that give me problems.