Wanna come over and watch the big game? No can do, little buddy. Baseball is a gentleman's sport where they tap a tiny ball and then trot around. I don't consider any game a "big game" unless there's a chance one player could accidentally squeeze another player's spine out of his nose like toothpaste from a tube. Beach volleyball is also watchable. I was actually talking about the new "Pac-Man Vs. Superman" X-Box game.
Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over … baseball season's nearly done. The time is growing short to see the man-meat hit home runs. Their rippling biceps swinging wooden bats hard through the air … their quadriceps pump, unbridled, while I sit there and stare. And when they slide into home plate, there's always a slim chance ... that if they slid in wrong, they're a-gonna split their pants! I don't think I'll ever be able to un-hear that.