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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about bad thoughts.

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Result page:    2  Next  (21 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-01 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-01 Pub. Date: 2018-11-01
Image Number: 174718
Caption: I'll tell you one thing, Susan, this is not the country I thought it was. When we were kids, I thought all the bad, unfair, horrible things were all in the past. I thought Martin Luther King, Jr., the Beatles, Muhammad Ali and Mr. Rogers came along and made it all better. I want my son to have the same tragically wrong illusions. It makes for a happy childhood. I still don't think you should cryogenically freeze him and they him out when all the crazy stops. I'm just researching whether it's possible. I haven't decided.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-10 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-10 Pub. Date: 2018-10-10
Image Number: 174389
Caption: I think the worst part of being dumped is the thought that you'll just fade away. I mean, you go from being the most important person in someone's life, to being a memory. It's a slow death. You know that every day you become more and more of a distant memory. Until sooner or later ... you're just gone. One of my exes once told me that. I don't remember which one. Maybe you just have a bad memory, Lemont.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-09 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-09 Pub. Date: 2018-05-09
Image Number: 171291
Caption: This is NASA. If you're calling to ask why we abruptly canceled our lunar rover mission, press 1. Otherwise, press 2. Boop. If you're a normal human, press 2. Otherwise, press 1. Boop. We have done as you commanded. We won't go anywhere near the polar region. Please accept our apology. Please?? Oh. Wait ... my bad. I thought I'd be pressing 2. If you're a normal human who mistakenly pressed 1, please stay right where you are. Can't we just pretend I pressed 2.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-21 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-21 Pub. Date: 2018-01-21
Image Number: 166923
Caption: I got sucked into an argument with my Uncle Elroy again. Dr. Noodle. He send me a dozen article from dailynutjob.com about how George Soros is behind all the conspiracy theories about George Soros. I couldn't help it … I finally wrote back, saying "Why?? Why would he do that??" He replied "Because George Soros is trying to make people who buy into George Soros conspiracy theories look bad." Oh my. Then he sent me article after article about how Antifa spies were getting white supremacist haircuts and pretending to be white supremacists, and saying evil white supremacist things. I couldn't help it ... I finally wrote back, saying "Why?? Why would they do that??" I thought we agreed you'd meditate whenever you had the urge to ask that question. He said "because they're trying to make white supremacists look bad."
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-18 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-18 Pub. Date: 2016-10-18
Image Number: 149905
Caption: No, baby, don't feel bad. You WERE going to pick me up. It's not your fault my flight was delayed. Taxi queue. Besides, I have a phone interview with Donald Trump now, so I don't have time for you anyway. Besides, every moment I don't see you makes me long for you even more. Can we wrap this up? I have a call to make! Ohhh, you're so sweet!
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-05 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-05 Pub. Date: 2016-03-05
Image Number: 139629
Caption: You know a good way to tell your friend his breath remind you of barnyard animals? My breath is just fine, Clyde. You sound defensive, bruh. Of course I do. You said something about me that isn't true, so I'm defending myself. That's what's wrong with America: Every time an innocent person defends himself, people say that's proof he's guilty. There you go again with your defense-tivity. Your breath must be worse that I thought. I'm going to quit while I'm behind.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-23 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-23 Pub. Date: 2015-11-23
Image Number: 135622
Caption: I think the worst part of being dumped is the thought that you'll just fade away. I mean, you go from being the most important person in someone's life, to being a memory. It's a slow death. You know that every day you become more and more of a distant memory, until sooner or later ... you're just gone. One of my exes once told me that. I don't remember which one. Maybe you just have a bad memory, Lemont.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-06 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-06 Pub. Date: 2015-09-06
Image Number: 131719
Caption: I want two things from our next president. First, I want him to be America's greatest cheerleader. I want him to constantly say that America is "exceptional." I don't want him focusing on "police brutality" and all the other things that make us look bad. I want him to make sure the whole world knows that the USA is the best place to live that there's ever been, in the whole history of mankind. What's the second thing you want? I want him to do something about all the foreigners who're so desperate to come live here that they can't wait a few measly decades to do it legally. Exoneration Nation. But ... I thought you wanted him to make America seem like it's the only place worth living. Not in an invitationy way ... more as a "nanny-nanny-na-na."
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-17 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-17 Pub. Date: 2015-05-17
Image Number: 126511
Caption: Anytime you think bad thoughts, son, you can fix it by thinking of the one thing in this world you love most. Macawoni and cheeth? I was thinking more along the lines of "daddy." Macawoni and cheeth.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-10 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-10 Pub. Date: 2015-05-10
Image Number: 126136
Caption: I'm reading a book called "Leviathan Wakes." It tells a story from the perspective of two different protagonists. Dr. Noodle. Neither knows just how much their stores are connected. It's like I've always thought: what if I'm not the only protagonist in my own life? What if there's somebody out there who's living the other half of my story? What if we're both on separate roads that are fated to converge at some pivotal, all-important moment? And what if I don't recognize this person's significance to my life and so we fail to connect?! I still think boring everyone you meet with your whole life story is a bad idea. But if I don't recognize their significance, they might recognize mine.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-04 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-04 Pub. Date: 2013-12-04
Image Number: 104626
Caption: You wanna do the verse now, C-Dog? Whachoo mean, dawg? Thug 4 Life. That WAS the verse. Oh. My bad. I didn’t realize it was the "VERSE." I thought it was the "outdated gangsta-rap cliché nobody wanna hear anymore." Not true. These is brand new cliches.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-24 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-24 Pub. Date: 2013-09-24
Image Number: 101943
Caption: You called? Yeah, what's another word for "ventriloquist"? What? Another word for "ventriloquist," I was just wondering. Lemont, they told me at work that you called. You never call, you always text. So I thought it was an emergency and dropped EVERYTHING! Would now be a bad time to ask how your day's going? And why don't you have your phone on you?!?!
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-12-17 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-12-17 Pub. Date: 2012-12-17
Image Number: 91099
Caption: Mesoamerica, 3114 B.C. Great Itzamna! Who goes there?! Relax. I'm Lemont Brown. I was drifting off to sleep, and thought "Imagine if I could go back in time and get someone in the media to write a story … " … About how the world's going to end in 2012. Might change everything." Are you cisin the death god or a dream from bad maize pudding? Huh?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-23 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-23 Pub. Date: 2012-08-23
Image Number: 86185
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I was looking forward to 2013's "Star Trek 2" film. … But then I realized: When I watch it, I'll be a whole year older. When did I start feeling bad about the thought of being a year older? Look on the bright side … I'll still be a year younger than you.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-03-11 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-03-11 Pub. Date: 2012-03-11
Image Number: 76814
Caption: I notice you ain't bought my new cd yet. I thought you was supposed to be my friend, Big L. Dang. You know what, Clyde? You're absolutely right. I mean, that'd be just as bad as if, hypothetically speaking, I had written five books over the last few years ... including a new on called "Run! Vampires, Werewolves, the One That Got Away; and Other Demons ... " And you didn't buy any of them. Hypothetically speaking. Glad you agree. I accept cash, cash or cash. Thug 4 life. Dawn. By Butler.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-15 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-15 Pub. Date: 2011-11-15
Image Number: 72983
Caption: BTW, where are you, Sasha? Tap tap tap tap tap t- In bed, typing on my iPhone. Webster's snoring. Your husband? But … … the last time we chatted, you said you were about to leave him. Tap tap tap t- I had second thoughts. Maybe it's not so bad. You said you'd packed a dufflebag with your green card, license, $3k in cash and the address of a safe house ... ... after her told you to stop talking to your friends and threatened to fire any of his male employees who so much as smiled at you. Maybe it was just his way of saying "I love you." It was his way of saying "I OWN YOU!" Tap tap t- tap ta- t-
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-23 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-23 Pub. Date: 2011-10-23
Image Number: 66463
Caption: On Today's Sunday Morning Political Show, we have -- BOOOO! Um ... We have the audience from the last few republican presidential debates. The ones who booed a gay soldier ... ... Cheered at the thought of a hypothetical comatose man dying because he has no health insurance ... ... And errupted with joy at the mere mention that Rick Perry executed people. ... Lots of people. Thank you for joining us, debate audience. I don't deserve to be here. I've been bad. I've gotten used to the notion that we're all in this society together. Whip me. Take away my unemployment insurance ... Um ... We'll be right back. Let my HMO deny me because of pre-existing conditions again! I deserve it! Punish me!
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-10 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-10 Pub. Date: 2011-03-10
Image Number: 58316
Caption: Facebook Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Lemont … It's like 1994 all over again! First I get back in touch with you … and just now I got a message from Susan Garcia! She and I were closer than sisters back in college. I don't know why she stopped talking to me. Do you remember Susan? Yeah, I hang out with her all the time. Just today she was feeling bad about not asking how my court case was going. She thought I was feeling like nobody cared. I told her not to worry, 'cause YOU were giving me moral support. Tap tap tap tap tap. OMG ... Lemont ... What? What's wrong? Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. Um ... Nothing. You're so cute sometimes. Maybe we can ALL hang out! Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-25 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-25 Pub. Date: 2010-10-25
Image Number: 53533
Caption: Times are tight and we have an 8-year-old to feed. Should I cancel our cable and internet? It'd save us $100/month. #$%& no. Then y'all'd have to actually talk to each other. That'd be MORE costly. Really? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice $2. Right now. If your wife cheatin', you don't know. If your 8-year-old emotionally disturbed, you have no idea. A $100 cable bill cheaper than alimony and a therapist. I hadn't thought of it like that.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-03-01 bad thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-03-11 Pub. Date: 2007-03-01
Image Number: 16388
Caption: Fox's show about Obama started with shots of jumping Africans and ended with "Don't tell mama, I'm for Obama." How can you say that's not racist? Thought you'd never ask. What's this? My uncle gave me this book. Changed my whole life. "The Delusional Black Man's Guide to Interpreting the Behavior of Others." Page 87: "That security guard's only following you to make sure nothing bad happens to you."
     
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