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Rudy Park

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141. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-01 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-01 Pub. Date: 2015-09-01
Image Number: 131968
Caption: That Chinese stock market crash really wrecked our own market. Did you lose big when the market tanked? On the contrary. Let's say a café owner accidentally sold 12 50% stakes in his café to 12 different people. Let's say he knew it was just a matter of time before that misunderstanding landed him in jail ... unless those investors panicked and sold back the stock at an absurdly low price to the cafe owner ... and let's say the cafe owner had a few corrupt officials in China who owed him a massive favor. Wait ... you're not saying that you are responsible for the global stock market crash ... That's right. I'm not saying it.
     
142. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-27 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-27 Pub. Date: 2015-08-27
Image Number: 131660
Caption: Welcome back to the Ask Sadie Show. You're on Vancouver. Hey, when are you going to do a show on Canadian politics? There's a whole queue of drama and intrigue up here too, eh? Just the other day there was a bit of tumult about the Tories pursuing an omnibus bill out of turn. Zzzzzzzzz. Unless there's bitter animosity, hatred and bunched underpants, it's not politics! Well, some of us were a bit miffed.
     
143. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-15 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-15 Pub. Date: 2015-08-15
Image Number: 131014
Caption: This just in: A sheriff's deputy in Kentucky is being sued over a video posted on Youtube … of him handcuffing a crying third-grader's biceps behind his back in a position most of us may consider torture. The child hadn't committed any crime, but he had displayed symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder and PTSD. Breaking news!!!!! Maybe the police ARE a tad out of control. Some say the child brought it on himself by having a disability.
     
144. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-30 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-30 Pub. Date: 2015-07-30
Image Number: 130394
Caption: (Ahem) Dear patrons, an announcement: My symphony debuts online next week … and to reward you all for being loyal customers, I'm going to sing you a sample from the first single. There are no vocals yet, so I'll be singing you the oboe, woodwind and bagpipe instrumentals. Get back to work. Bee beebebeebee boo ... Boooo booboobooboo beee.
     
145. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-16 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-16 Pub. Date: 2015-06-16
Image Number: 128445
Caption: Two years ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, My son just taught me how to use an iPad, so I am writing to tell you that doing so makes me feel young again. You might want to try it. - Nathaniel from Ontario. Thank you for helping me feel young! I may not be as spry as I was back in the old days ... but at least I've never taken two whole years to answer a question!
     
146. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-09 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-09 Pub. Date: 2015-06-09
Image Number: 128137
Caption: I hear you're running for president as a Republican, Rudy. It's the latest thing. Well, do you have a Sugar Dadd - I mean, a "billionaire patron" yet? What do you mean? It's a well-known fact that Republican candidates who poll in the single digits can compete very well if they're either wealthy or backed by someone who's wealthy. I've been wanting to back my own stooge. It's the latest thing. New announcement, everyone: I'm dropping out of the race.
     
147. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-03 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-03 Pub. Date: 2015-06-03
Image Number: 127846
Caption: This is the Ask Sadie Show. We're back with a caller whose house burned down while he was being diagnosed with gout. There is a silver lining: at least you're not a muscle-bound oaf or his puny celebrity-obsessed sidekick. Both Randy Taylor and Rudy Park are world-class disappointments, so they shall remain nameless so as to spare their poor mothers the humiliation. Not cool, Sadie. Not cool. We're famous!
     
148. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-30 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-30 Pub. Date: 2015-05-30
Image Number: 127574
Caption: Rudy, have a seat. There's something I need to tell you. What is it, boss? Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. I once owned a dog. I'd tell him to "sit" every five minutes, just to show him who's in charge. That's all. You can go. But be back in five minutes. I wish this chair was cushioned.
     
149. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-17 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-17 Pub. Date: 2015-05-17
Image Number: 126205
Caption: We're back, baby! Oh, no. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr. Web. $12.50. I'll have Jell-o. Make that two Jello-os. We're celebrating. The old lady and I are back together again. What? How dare you?! I'm only four months older than you. You're on thin ice, darling. Oh, I'm on thin ice, snookums? Am I the one who invited his freeloading sister to live with us without even a discussion? Am I the one who "accidentally" left the gate open so her husband's beloved dog could run away? ... Dear? You're the one who incessantly rubs all that in my face ... Darling pudding-pie. Make mine for here, but make his to go. No, make mine for here, but make hers to go. Sorry, I'm breaking up with both of you.
     
150. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-03 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-03 Pub. Date: 2015-05-03
Image Number: 125630
Caption: Open Mike Night Presents Future Guy. They hitched rides in on Halley's Comet every time it's near. Living nanites masquerading as technology … depending on the gullibility of you and me. 200,000 years of riding horses and buggies … and suddenly we're 3-D printing tools and cars and trees? They're everywhere, just biding the time to finish their big plan. They're in your phones, your watch, your cars, and they are nearly done. The brain ... the AI ... will arrive ... in 2061. (July 28th to be exact ... that, my crew, is a natural fact). I'm warning you this way 'cause it's the only way, you see. For some reason, they get confused by rhymes and poetry. In short, I've come to warn you, evolution's happening. You want your kids to survive it? Teach them how to rap ... pening. That was close. Odd ... My phone lit up for no reason, and then went back to sleep.
     
151. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-13 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-13 Pub. Date: 2015-04-13
Image Number: 125624
Caption: Hey boss, it's April 13th. A couple years ago, you said come back April 13, 2015, and we could talk about you giving me a raise. Yes, but that was predicated on the notion that you'd need a raise by now. I see you're still alive. Clearly you haven't starved to death. You smell minty-fresh, so clearly you haven't been forced out onto the streets. Karl Marx said it best: "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need." I'm pretty sure that is not what Marx meant.
     
152. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-07 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-07 Pub. Date: 2015-04-07
Image Number: 125275
Caption: I've got this mystery pain in the side of my face. That ever happen to you? Never. Every pain I've ever had has been accounted for. Test me. Ok … back pain? The year was 2003. I'd just rescued a horse from a mudslide. But her mate got jealous and kicked me in the back. I'm going to leave here feeling inadequate, aren't I? Also, 1997: After I rescued a surfer from its tentacles, a grumpy giant octopus sought revenge.
     
153. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-29 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-29 Pub. Date: 2015-03-29
Image Number: 124105
Caption: I'm unpoor! You're what? You're looking at an employed man. After seven years of unemployment, I just got a job at Walmart. It pays slightly more than minimum wage. Congrats. The first thing I'm going to do with my new-found wealth is buy a new pair of undies. I haven't bought a new pair of undies since 2007. The second thing I'll do is pay down the interest on the principal on one of my credit cards. America is back, baby!
     
154. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-15 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-15 Pub. Date: 2015-03-15
Image Number: 123477
Caption: I can't wait till the Entourage movie comes out. Me an' my boys are going to see it opening day. You and your "boys"? What "boys"? You don't have any "boys." Of course I've got "boys." Every main character is surrounded by a group of friends. They may make fun of each other, they may get each other into trouble once a week. But they're always there for each other. I'm the main character in my life. Not really. "Main characters" make things happen; they don't just sit back and let things happen TO them. You're more of an extra in your life. Every time I post a selfie, I get at least 30 "likes." Would an extra get anywhere near 30 "likes"? I stand corrected. You're not an extra. You're just the cameraman.
     
155. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-23 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-23 Pub. Date: 2015-02-23
Image Number: 123471
Caption: Hey barkeep, double hot chocolate, double whipped cream. Sure. Everything okay? It's our family cat. Her body stopped working. I don't understand. Her body stopped working? She died. But my parents are afraid to use that word with me, so they keep coming up with the strangest explanations. At one point, they told be she went to Wichita and wasn't coming back. I'm lost. Isn't airport travel terrible these days?
     
156. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-08 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-08 Pub. Date: 2015-02-08
Image Number: 121926
Caption: The Afghanistan war officially ended one month ago. The "Af-What-Istan what" did what? What? That's what I asked you. I said, the Afghanistan war ended. You know, the war we've been fighting for the last thirteen years! We've been fighting a war for the last 13 years? That's odd ... I don't know anyone who was in it. Did we win? Holy Moses. Woulda been cool if it had kept going for 101 years, then it would be a world record. You're the best argument there is for bringing back the draft. "Draft"? You mean beer?
     
157. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-29 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-29 Pub. Date: 2015-01-29
Image Number: 122184
Caption: You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! My dog seems to be incontinent. I'm tired of cleaning up after him. Would it be wrong to give him to a shelter? Oh, I don't know. Would you ship your parents off to a "shelter" just because you're tired of helping them? Wait ... don't answer that. I once drove dad into the woods, but he found his way back.
     
158. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-18 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-18 Pub. Date: 2015-01-18
Image Number: 120915
Caption: It's the Fad Herald. Please say hoverboards are in. Hear ye, today, a special announcement. The following is now in: Totally ignoring that we're now living in the year depicted in the movie "Back to the Future, part 2." Out: Any observation about what's come true: 3D movies, tablet computers, video conferencing, wall-mounted, wide-screen TVs that display multiple channels at once, being consumed by personal electronics and hoverboards. Um ... But I've been waiting 26 years to make those observations. Me too. Same here. And I've been waiting 26 years to mock everyone who does that. I'm not sure you got this one right, Fad Herald. Also out: Questioning what you're told. Oh. Sorry about that.
     
159. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-12-21 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-12-21 Pub. Date: 2014-12-21
Image Number: 119729
Caption: Are you a "Star Wars" fan, good sir? Who isn't? I would like to propose a small wager. Ask me any question about Star Wars. Any question at all … and if I answer with 100% accuracy, I will win a free coffee and scone per day, for an entire year. Interesting. And what do I get if you answer wrong? You get this laptop computer. It's fully functional, except for a slight catastrophic logic board failure. Deal. Sucker. Here's the question: what was I wearing when I saw 'Empire Strikes Back' in the theater in 1980? Huh? What was I wearing, smart guy? Underpants. Ha! Nice try, but I always wore my Underoos OVER my pants!
     
160. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-12-08 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-12-08 Pub. Date: 2014-12-08
Image Number: 120010
Caption: Another fraternity's in the new for assaulting a woman at a party. That's why I quit PIG back in college. Pi-Iota-Gamma was the epitome of everything that wrong with fraternities. Guys would ply girls with drinks at every party, and I'd spend all night breaking down locked doors and stopping my own PIG brothers from doing anything evil. Real men don't need numbers, booze, pills or force to get anywhere with a woman. Women never even came to our parties at Lambda-Omicron-Sigma-Eta-Rho.
     
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