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Rudy Park

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121. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-09 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-09 Pub. Date: 2016-05-09
Image Number: 143039
Caption: I bet you've filled your head with so many tweets and Instagrams that you've crowded out all your actual memories of your own life. Nonsense. I remember way back, all the way to … well let's see … oh, I've got it … My earliest memory was opening an America Online cd, putting it in our old PC, and seeing that symbol. You do realize that was the 1990s don't you? You must have already been in your teens. You are a very sick generation! I get misty-eyed when I think back to "you've got mail!"
     
122. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-05 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-05 Pub. Date: 2016-05-05
Image Number: 142739
Caption: Play the last Donald Trump speech. Playing … Take out all the bragging. Processing … Ok, ready. Playing … Hello! … if … but you know what? They didn't count on … when … they said "Mister Trump" … and why … penguin … goodnight. Maybe put back some of the bragging. Processing ...
     
123. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-15 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-15 Pub. Date: 2016-04-15
Image Number: 141818
Caption: What was Rudy like as a child, Mort? He was a very adventurous young man. Every time I visited, he would tell me about his exploits. About how he climbed mountains with some other child named Q-bert … He'd tell me about how he'd spend hours and hours collecting coins with his friends Mario and Luigi ... who just put the Joker back in Arkham Asylum? This guy!! I don't know what that means, but it sounds very strenuous.
     
124. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-23 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-23 Pub. Date: 2016-03-23
Image Number: 140828
Caption: What were you doing during the Iraq war, Randy? What are you talking about? We knew each other back then. That was like 10 or 13 years ago. You can't expect me to remember every little detail about something that happened so long ago. I regularly delete old memory files to make room for all the new data constantly coming my way via Facebook, tweets, Instagram, etc. I wish I didn't have to do that. I wish I could just expand my storage by sticking a flash drive in my nose. Why don't you try? Maybe it'll work.
     
125. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-21 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-21 Pub. Date: 2016-03-21
Image Number: 140826
Caption: You're like the grandpa I never had, Mort. You never knew your grandpappy, Randy? Oh, no, I knew him. Grandpa Randy was an intrepid archaeologist who broke hearts and defeated villains all over the world. "Indiana Randy's" life story became the stuff of legend. They even made some movies based on his exploits. I'm just saying you're nothing like him. I was going to see those films back in the '80s, but the matinees were past my bedtime.
     
126. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-03 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-03 Pub. Date: 2016-03-03
Image Number: 139845
Caption: Guess what else I found on Youtube, Randy? Evidence Vladimir Putin is an immortal. There are two photos of soldiers who look exactly like Putin, taken in 1941 and way back in 1920. Exactly like him. Could be they're related. The notion of "genetics" is a huge conspiracy by the immortals. I found that out on Youtube.
     
127. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-26 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-26 Pub. Date: 2016-02-26
Image Number: 139582
Caption: Do you think it's too late for me to go to law school and position myself for an appointment to the Supreme Court? Yes, unfortunately. You'd have to go back in time and start preparing early. By that I mean WAY back. As in you'd have to ensure that the cells that formed you had genes that would give you intellectual curiosity, above-average intelligence, and ambition. But you do still have time to become a layabout. You seem to have prepared very well for that. What? You'd still get to wear a robe all day.
     
128. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-24 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-24 Pub. Date: 2016-02-24
Image Number: 139580
Caption: I wonder who the next Supreme Court justice will be. Well, the president has a habit of disappointing liberals, so we can be sure of one thing … It won't be a radical Socialist ideologue who'll swing the court back to the left. Are you sure? I have it on good authority. How can you just sit there slurping coffee while the president isn't returning my calls?!
     
129. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-02 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-02 Pub. Date: 2016-02-02
Image Number: 138611
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? What'll it mean if Trump ends up winning? Excellent question. It reminds me of questions very few people asked 80 years ago when Mussolini came to power in Italy. Other questions that went unasked back then: "Is sucking down smoke all day long bad for me?" "Is it a bad idea to buy radioactive beauty cream?" "Is cocaine really the best remedy for indigestion?!" People sure were dumb back then.
     
130. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-26 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-26 Pub. Date: 2016-01-26
Image Number: 138314
Caption: I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy. Which part do you miss most? Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what tv shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission? Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors.
     
131. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-03 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-03 Pub. Date: 2016-01-03
Image Number: 136619
Caption: Open Mic Night Presents The New Year's Baby. I'm telling you now, hold on to your hats. I'm not like the last guy you knew. I'll scream and I'll shout and I'll lie to your face. And in the end, I'll blame you. 'Cause none of you cares about who's the best choice; all you care's that your side wins. It's election year, and all bets are off ... so settle in, my friends. 2016. And, oh ... by the way, I may need your help ... for it seems I have soiled myself. That makes tow of us. Bring back 2015!!!
     
132. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-23 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-23 Pub. Date: 2015-12-23
Image Number: 136904
Caption: You asked to see me, boss? Yes, Rudy. We have a serious problem here. I'm going to need you to stop humming the 'Star Wars' theme 24/7. Disney is notoriously litigious. If they catch wind what you're publicly performing the theme, they may sue the café for royalties. Daaaa ... daaaa ... duh-duh-duh daaaaaaa ... daaaa ... duh-duh-duh ... wait, what? If you cost me my livelihood, I'll do to you what Han did to that Tauntaun.
     
133. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-30 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-30 Pub. Date: 2015-11-30
Image Number: 135992
Caption: Darlene, would you like to have lunch with me? Darlene. Lunch. Noon. Sandwiches. Lemonade. Be there. Hi, Darlene. Say, you've got to eat. I've got to eat. We have a lot in common. Stop rehearsing and get back to work. You wouldn't want to go out with me ... would you?
     
134. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-29 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-29 Pub. Date: 2015-11-29
Image Number: 135088
Caption: Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to confuse spearmint with peppermint? I must be the biggest jerk in the world. You said it. I didn't ... dear. Give us a drink that says "You're just like your meddling mother." Give us a drink that says "My mother was right about you." Leave! Both of you!
     
135. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-28 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-28 Pub. Date: 2015-11-28
Image Number: 135704
Caption: I'd like my money back. The celery smoothie didn't make me lose weight at all. I've been drinking three a day for two weeks, yet I've gained 17 pounds. Did you add any sugar or honey or anything to it? Don't try to change the subject. No refunds.
     
136. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-14 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-14 Pub. Date: 2015-11-14
Image Number: 135087
Caption: You're on "Ask Sadie" What's your problem? I want to go back to work. But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do? You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves! If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little "Lord of the Flies"-ish, but that builds character! ... in the survivors.
     
137. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-10-27 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-10-27 Pub. Date: 2015-10-27
Image Number: 134464
Caption: Armstrong, I have an idea. Advertise the café on hippo-owners.com. What? It'll generate buzz. People will be all like "Why are they advertising on hippo-owners.com?" Hippo owners will flock to the café, to see if there's anything hippo-related going on. I also have another idea ... Does it involve backing slowly out of my office?
     
138. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-10-22 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-10-22 Pub. Date: 2015-10-22
Image Number: 134163
Caption: Welcome back to "The Ask Sadie Show." You're on Connecticut. What's your problem?! How can I get my landlord to stop parking in my parking spot? Excellent question. It's possible it's just an innocent misunderstanding. It's equally possible to innocently rent a circus elephant that likes to sit on cars. The lawyers have asked me to clarify that your question and my answer are not necessarily related. Gotcha.
     
139. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-27 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-27 Pub. Date: 2015-09-27
Image Number: 132290
Caption: The fad herald cometh. He'll be proud. I'm already tired of my new iPhone 6s plus. Hear ye, hear ye. The following are OUT. Cable and satellite tv. Anything with soy. The term "anchor baby." The following are now IN: Streaming shows online. Whey protein. The term "anchor baby." The following is now out: The term "anchor baby." Also out: Selfie sticks. Keeping it old school is in. But the phrase "old school" is out. Are lumberjack beards still in? Mine's taking forever to grow. Is "anchor baby" back in, yet?
     
140. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-16 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-16 Pub. Date: 2015-09-16
Image Number: 132592
Caption: Armstrong, why did you fire me? I need to know. Gross incompetence. You used the café's line of credit to buy and ad on the "Ask Sadie" show. Business plummeted by 100% the very next day. We were closed the very next day. I could hire you back, but it would mean a new contract and less pay. Very bad man. Your new contract requires you to provide me with health insurance.
     
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