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Rudy Park

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81. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-24 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-24 Pub. Date: 2017-05-24
Image Number: 158354
Caption: We don't suspect you of helping Russia blackmail the president. It's your college roommate, Rudy Park. He's the mole. Ithee. Thn hwcm imn hur? You and I go way back, Lemont. Of all the journalists I've monitored, you're by far my favorite. Mmble. Huh? I said "Untie me and let me go, you fascist, jack-booted thug!" Anyway, you've heard of "Deep Throat," right? Well ... first thing we need to do is come up with a good code name for me.
     
82. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-20 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-20 Pub. Date: 2017-05-20
Image Number: 158093
Caption: On today's Ask Sadie Radio Hour, we discuss one topic: The constant flirtation with fleeing to Canada. Canada has universal health insurance, far fewer killings, much less bigotry, more social mobility, better schools, less obesity, 50 weeks' maternity leave, blah blah blah. But that means nothing, because you know what they don't have? Panicky media telling you who to blame for the sky falling! We'll be back, after this message from Depends undergarments.
     
83. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-18 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-18 Pub. Date: 2017-05-18
Image Number: 158091
Caption: Rudy, you can't meet with the Russians. It'll be a disaster of epic proportions. How so? What could possibly go wrong? There are always unintended consequences with Russia. It was summer of 1988. I was a teenager on a one-man goodwill tour across the Soviet Union. Just me, my Harley and my leather jacket ... that is, until I visited the Kremlin. Let's just say I rode the last few thousand miles of that journey with a beautiful older blonde named Irina clinging to my back. Her father Mikhail was furious. He was so distracted for the next year that his entire country fell apart. Wait ... who was her father? Remind me to show you my Presidential Medal of Freedom.
     
84. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-14 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-14 Pub. Date: 2017-05-14
Image Number: 157405
Caption: Give us a drink that says "We're back in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together again. Give my snookums anything she wants. Anything her precious heart desires. Anything at all! You don't remember what my favorite drink is, do you ... dear? Oh, please forgive me for thinking you'd appreciate that I'm not a presumptuous jerk who thinks you're incapable of ordering for yourself. Like that pompous English professor you left me for ... babykins. You mean "for whom I left you." Give my darling pudding-pop the worst-tasting swill on your menu. Leave me out of this! And give me a big, strong, English muffin.
     
85. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-07 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-07 Pub. Date: 2017-05-07
Image Number: 157127
Caption: I've traveled back through time to warn: The aliens are here. Open Mike Night Presents Future Guy. They hitched rides in on Halley's Comet every time it's near. Living nanites masquerading as technology … depending on the gullibility of you and me. 200,000 years of riding horses and buggies ... and suddenly we're 3-D printing tools and cars and trees? They're everywhere, just biding time to finish their big plan. They're in your phones, your watch, your cars, and they are nearly done. The brain ... the AI ... will arrive ... in 2061. (July 28th to be exact ... that, my crew is a natural fact). I'm warning you this way 'cause it's the only way, you see. For some reason, they get confused by rhymes and poetry. In short, I've come to warn you, evolution's happening. You want your kids to survive it? Teach them how to rap ... pening. That was close. Odd ... my phone lit up for no reason, and then went back to sleep.
     
86. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-29 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-29 Pub. Date: 2017-04-29
Image Number: 157301
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? How do I tell my wife I'm not who she thinks I am? Excellent questions. It reminds me of the time I palled around with a homely lady back in the '50s. She was one heck of a dancer, but she was secretive guarded. The more I pried into her secrets, the more paranoid she grew. "Somebody's spying on me," she said. "It could be anyone." ... I read that in her diary. If you ask me, that Jo McCarthy was a real basket case. Um ... What did I call you about?
     
87. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-10 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-10 Pub. Date: 2017-04-10
Image Number: 156746
Caption: Four years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadieâ„¢ Show, our resident octogenarian asked listeners for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Dear Sadie, I was going to suggest you start a YouTube channel to share your advice with younger people. But YouTube just stabbed its content creators in the back. They stopped showing ads on videos discussing anything even remotely controversial. That's going to put so many important voices out of business. So I don't really have any advice for you. Good luck, - D.P., formerly of YouTubeLand. WHAT THE HECK IS YOUTUBE?!?! Advise Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com
     
88. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-18 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-18 Pub. Date: 2017-03-18
Image Number: 155669
Caption: Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there, I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go. Of course I'm not. What's that beeping? I hear beeping in there. You're mistaken. What you probably heard is a big truck backing up a few blocks away. I've backed up. I've put on my motorcycle helmet. I'm getting a running start. But I'm almost at the next level! ... I mean I'm almost done.
     
89. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-10 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-10 Pub. Date: 2017-03-10
Image Number: 155395
Caption: Boss, if you could be any animal on earth, which one would you be? I'm glad you asked, minion. I'd be a nocturnal, camouflaged Wobbegong at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. There I'd lie in wait, ever vigilant, ever hungry … ever ready to devour any creature large or small unlucky enough to brush against my whiskers. I'm going to back away now. No, no ... don't back away, minion ... That's when the Wobbegong will get you.
     
90. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-17 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-17 Pub. Date: 2017-02-17
Image Number: 154554
Caption: Really? You're hiring me back to replace the robot you just replaced me with? I've had a change of heart, minion. It may be cheaper to automate my café. But it dawned on me that robots don't buy very many drinks. Plus, as much as I try to let the bottom line guide me, I am, deep down, a very compassionate man. I couldn't bear the thought of you being poor and miserable. Maybe he's not such a bad man. Plus, one accidental incineration of a customer and the authorities get all weird about it.
     
91. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-29 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-29 Pub. Date: 2017-01-29
Image Number: 152972
Caption: What can I get you? An explanation about why Disney can't do what we all want the to do … and have the folks who made Rogue One go back and remake the super-lame Star Wars prequel trilogy. Would you like the inaccurate explanation or the accurate one? Inaccurate would be lovely, please. It's too soon to remake "Phantom Menace." Plus it'd be confusing. Besides, the prequels were good enough. What're you talking about? It's been 18 years since "Phantom Menace." And movies get rebooted all the time, and no one gets confused. And no, they were most definitely not good enough. Well you asked for the inaccurate version. Oh. Can I try the accurate one, then? Ok. It's because it's just easier to pretend the prequels never existed. But I want them to officially never have existed.
     
92. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-18 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-18 Pub. Date: 2017-01-18
Image Number: 153430
Caption: You've reached Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you? I'm about to leave the country. I'm taking a four-year cruise around the world. I should be back on or after January 21st, 2021. But I can only afford a ticket for myself, not for my wife. How do I explain to her that she's going to have to stay behind? Before I answer: Is this by any chance related to Donald Trump's upcoming inauguration? It's every man for himself.
     
93. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-16 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-16 Pub. Date: 2017-01-16
Image Number: 153428
Caption: Mommy and I are back from New Zealand. How was your trip? It was great. I got to see where the Hobbits lived. And there was green everywhere. Then we had to go. They wouldn't grant you and your mom refugee status? No. We tried Antarctica after that. We tried real hard to fit in. But the penguins just would not accept us as part of their society. Tell your mommy Trump's only going to be president for eight short years.
     
94. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-05 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-05 Pub. Date: 2017-01-05
Image Number: 152864
Caption: Well first of all, he can't find anything, ever. I have to find the man's socks, his toothbrush … Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. And he'll tell me he's hungry in the morning. Then he'll go in the other room, and in the evening he comes back in and tells me he's starving. It's like as soon as we got married, the man became so stupid he can't even remember how to slap some peanut butter on a cracker. No, I said tell me his good points. Those are his good points. Foul!
     
95. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-15 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-15 Pub. Date: 2016-12-15
Image Number: 152125
Caption: Boss, the health inspector is here. Excellent. My hacker just finished restoring all the inspector's social media posts dating back to 1994. Tell him "It'd be a shame if someone's career were ruined by a 20-year-old video of him doing the Macarena in the buff." Don't wink too much. But not too little, either. Very bad man.
     
96. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-05 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-05 Pub. Date: 2016-12-05
Image Number: 151819
Caption: Donald Trump's brilliant. Every time horrible news about him breaks, he distracts us will all the tweets. Like when he appointed a guy who wants to privatize Medicare. He distracted us all by tweeting that people who burn flags should lose their citizenship. That did seem to come out of nowhere. People barely ever burn flags these days. HOJ. Whenever he tweets, we'd be wise to check the back page of the newspaper. What's a "newspaper"?
     
97. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-26 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-26 Pub. Date: 2016-11-26
Image Number: 151311
Caption: (Ahem) Dear Patrons, an announcement: My new collection of spoken-word poetry drops next week. Three hours of rhythmic wisdom accompanied by the constant sound of an iMac booting up … and I'm about to treat you all to a free sneak preview. Get back to work. AHEM ...
     
98. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-21 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-21 Pub. Date: 2016-11-21
Image Number: 151306
Caption: I told you way back in 2015 that Donald Trump would be the next president. You called it. You predicted every twist and turn of the election. It was eerie. What's going to happen next, Randy? What's going to happen to us all? Trump will fund research where they use my DNA to make everyone super hot and super chill, and we'll all live in sweet, sexy bliss. HOJ. I'm not sure whether I predicted the future, or whether the future obeyed me. So that one's just in case. Good thinking.
     
99. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-06 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-06 Pub. Date: 2016-11-06
Image Number: 150036
Caption: Can I have a little water? That'll be $8. What? A cup of water is supposed to be free. It's free everywhere. Menu. Exactly. And just look at the state of America today. Bridges and roads crumbling, Obamacare costs skyrocketing … people leaving pets in hot cars, a totally dysfunctional Congress, $16 movie tickets, terrorism ... What's any of that have to do with free water?! Who knows? But we don't know that it doesn't have something to do with free water. Please ... I'm so thirsty! Fine ... whatever. $8. Trying something new even if it's repugnant is how we're going to get this country back on track.
     
100. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-05 back 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-05 Pub. Date: 2016-11-05
Image Number: 150488
Caption: I made fun of your age the other day. I'd like to apologize. That's odd. Does the blade of grass apologize to the lawnmower? Does the bug apologize to the windshield? Does the ant apologize to the boot? Those are some interesting analogies. Did they make more sense back in the middle ages when you first came up with them? I sense a boot coming
     
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