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Candorville

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Result page:     (12 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-12 automatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-12 Pub. Date: 2018-10-12
Image Number: 174391
Caption: Dear Lemont Brown, Because we raised your APR, your most recent automatic payment to Feudalbanc Massacard was short by one cent. So we've charged you a $75 late fee. Unless you have as many lobbyists in Congress as Feudalbanc does, there is absolutely nothing you can do other than pay up. To admit defeat, sign here: Lemont Brown.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-09 automatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-09 Pub. Date: 2018-05-09
Image Number: 171291
Caption: This is NASA. If you're calling to ask why we abruptly canceled our lunar rover mission, press 1. Otherwise, press 2. Boop. If you're a normal human, press 2. Otherwise, press 1. Boop. We have done as you commanded. We won't go anywhere near the polar region. Please accept our apology. Please?? Oh. Wait ... my bad. I thought I'd be pressing 2. If you're a normal human who mistakenly pressed 1, please stay right where you are. Can't we just pretend I pressed 2.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-08 automatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-08 Pub. Date: 2018-01-08
Image Number: 167089
Caption: How was your New Years? Great. This year, I was designated good guy with a gun. You know how every year, bozos all over America fire off their semi-automatic rifles into the air to ring in the new year? Well, the NRA has a hotline for that. You call it, they send out a good guy with a gun to blast all those bullets out of the sky before they can come back down on you and your kids ... You're joking, right? Of course I'm joking. Everyone knows those bullets don't come back down.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-09 automatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-09 Pub. Date: 2017-07-09
Image Number: 159502
Caption: It's hard to debunk the whole "fake news" thing when so-called "journalists" keep lying, or keep not correcting their "mistakes" take Joy-Ann Reid, for instance. Who she? She has a show on MSNBC. The other week, after that former Bernie-supporter shot at those congressmen ... somebody tweeted "too soon to mention Bernie owes his entire political career to the NRA? Particularly his support of assault rifles his R opponent decried?" "Journalist" Joy-Ann Reid retweeted that, adding "I hope we have the maturity as a country to confront facts like this at the same time we're thinking of victims and keeping level heads." But it wasn't a fact. Sanders opposed assault rifles. The NRA backed him in that one race to punish the Republican who'd just changed his position on assault rifles. A Vermont gun store owner said at the time, "At least [Bernie's] consistent" with his opposition to semi-automatic rifles. A simple Google search would've told her that, apparently Joy-Ann Reid doesn't even Joy-Ann read. This whole thing was so you could say that joke, wasn't it.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-16 automatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-16 Pub. Date: 2016-02-16
Image Number: 139235
Caption: I'm tired of people saying Marco Rubio sounds like a robot. Since when has repeating oneself over and over again been robotic? He doesn't sound anything like a robot. Robots say "I'll be back" in a thick Austrian accent. Or they say "I suggest a new strategy, Artoo: Let the Wookiee win." Or they say "Danger, Will Robinson!" Don't worry, people won't be talking about Rubio for much longer.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-15 automatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-15 Pub. Date: 2016-02-15
Image Number: 139234
Caption: I can't stop telling jokes about how when Marco Rubio calls people, they think it's a robocall. M.A.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-04 automatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-04 Pub. Date: 2015-11-04
Image Number: 134723
Caption: Dear Lemont Brown, Because we raised your APR, your most recent automatic payment to Feudalbanc Massacard was short by one cent. So we've charged you a $75 late fee. Unless you have as many lobbyists in Congress as Feudalbanc does, there is absolutely nothing you can do other than pay up. To admit defeat, sign here: x Lemont Brown.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-29 automatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-29 Pub. Date: 2014-09-29
Image Number: 117056
Caption: I've been considering all the things I do absentmindedly. This morning alone, I cut my toenails, picked my nose, spit, whistled and scratched my unmentionables. Just thinking about all the things I do without thinking about it makes me feel exhausted. That doesn't explain why you ate my taco. (This cartoon was published originally on 2012-05-29).
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-29 automatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-29 Pub. Date: 2012-05-29
Image Number: 81463
Caption: I've been considering all the things I do absentmindedly. This morning alone, I cut my toenails, picked my nose, spit, whistled and scratched my unmentionables. Just thinking about all the things I do without thinking about it makes me feel exhausted. That doesn't explain why you ate my taco.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-21 automatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-21 Pub. Date: 2012-04-21
Image Number: 79552
Caption: Hello, Presidential candidate, your robocall has reached the home of a registered voter. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm out searching for the nonexistent job your party promised you'd deliver last time you ran for office. I'm Lemont Brown, and I approved this message.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-11-04 automatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-11-06 Pub. Date: 2006-11-04
Image Number: 15100
Caption: Mixing politics and religion cheapens religion, Reverend. Drop out of this mayoral race, or I'll see to it you lose this church. Oh, Deacon. Deacon Roscoe, my good fellow. Let me tell you a story. (click) That only works when you're on the phone. Oh. You may be right.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-05-14 automatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-05-18 Pub. Date: 2005-05-14
Image Number: 10448
Caption: I forgot to tell you, there's a convenience fee of 75 cents for paying with your ATM card….
     
Result page:     (12 images)