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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-20 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-20 Pub. Date: 2018-06-20
Image Number: 172384
Caption: Periodically, Sadie Cohen gets jacked up on caffeine, then goes to the US post office. Once she gets to the counter, she starts chatting and asks endless questions, stopping up the line for hours, frustrating to no end the people behind her. It's her favorite practical joke and, frankly, one of the darkest things the human eye can witness. Enjoy! What's your opinion of the two-day certified mail to Wichita? Move it, lady!
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-09 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-09 Pub. Date: 2018-06-09
Image Number: 172100
Caption: What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-01 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-01 Pub. Date: 2018-06-01
Image Number: 171961
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Wondering. In my day, when a body said I wonder why dust bunnies are called dust bunnies, it led to all sorts of delightful speculation. We could while away hours debating whether it was a marketing ploy by big broom ... or whether it dated back to Napoleon, who had a fetish for dirty rabbits. And if we were lucky, opinions could get so heated that fisticuffs would ensue. Wondering is just one of many lovely human experiences utterly ruined by Google.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-19 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-19 Pub. Date: 2018-05-19
Image Number: 171512
Caption: What's your question for Ask Sadie? Should I invest in crypto? Only if you're a nincompoop who can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality. Besides I was always more partial to Comet the Horse, Streaky the Cat and Beppo the Monkey. Krypto was the most unimaginative pet Superman ever had!!! What? What?
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-12 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-12 Pub. Date: 2018-05-12
Image Number: 171300
Caption: What's your question for Ask Sadie? Who do you thin has the best fries? McDonald's or Arby's? That depends. Which one is still fried in cattle grease? I know one or the other of them caved in to the anti-clogged-arteryists and switched to vegetable oil years ago. Health-fetishists ruin everything! Health isn't bad. Health is like everything else, too much of it is unhealthy!
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-09 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-09 Pub. Date: 2018-05-09
Image Number: 171297
Caption: Ask Sadie Advice Hour, what's your problem?! NASA. I just read an article about how NASA canceled yet another moon mission. What are they hiding??? Excellent question. As you all know, I was an astronaut on the top-secret final Apollo mission back in 1973. Did you realize Apollo fro Battlestar Galactica was played by the lovely, departed Richard Hatch? I once worked soldering hatches on nuclear submarines. Wait ... are you trying to chance the subject? Submarine sandwiches, contrary to popular misconception, are not actually meant to be eaten under water. Coverup!!!
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-04 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-04 Pub. Date: 2018-05-04
Image Number: 171062
Caption: Hey little buddy, the pizza delivery guy's out there in the café looking for you. I told him where I was … please … please tell me you didn't order a pizza and tell them to deliver it to the men's room. Please tell me that. The bathroom is not a sanctuary. Ask him how badly he wants his tip.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-03 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-03 Pub. Date: 2018-05-03
Image Number: 171061
Caption: Ask Sadie is back. You're on, caller. What's your problem? My wife finally answered my emails. She wants me back. She says she's sorry she left me for her personal trainer. She said making mad, passionate love to him has become unfulfilling. She said she's tired of the excitement, tired of his fancy house, tired of the lavish trips around the world, and tired of him not snoring like a jackhammer, like I always do. Let go and move on, you ninny!!! She said she's especially tired of his ability to understand sarcasm.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-27 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-27 Pub. Date: 2018-04-27
Image Number: 170879
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear esteemed Sadie: I live in Macau and I'm a big fan. Your country recently began bombing the country of Syria. It seems not to bother you that it's not exactly LEGAL. What do you say about the opinion polls for the past many years? When asked what is the greatest threat to world peace, people all over the world consistently say "the United States." I continue to hold you in great esteem. - Liayanyo Huang. WHERE ARE THESE INGRATES? WE OUGHTA "ESTEEM" ON OVER THERE AND LIBERATE THEM. I mean - Thank you for writing. Ask Sadie at asksadieshow@gmail.com.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-26 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-26 Pub. Date: 2018-04-26
Image Number: 170878
Caption: What do you mean you want me to vote illegally this November? I'm registered. Yes … but Ernesto isn't. Ernesto Mumumba Chang Yurchenkovitz is an illegal immigrant who tunneled his way across the Atlantic to vote for tax-raising liberal café regulators. Report to the alley at two a.m. Someone who's definitely not me will leave you a big fake mustache, a Yo Soy Ernesto t-shirt, and an ISIS membership card. When you're caught voting, public sentiment will swing our way. You have some never asking me to do this after refusing to let me take a potty break. Stop whining. My inside man at ICE will make sure you're probably not deported.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-19 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-19 Pub. Date: 2018-04-19
Image Number: 170595
Caption: The March Kaiser Family Foundation study showed that 59% of Americans now favor Medicare-for-all. That's almost 60%! When asked if they'd favor it if people were still allowed to buy private supplemental insurance, the number skyrocketed to 75%. This ruins everything. I was used to calling it a leftist position. But if most people want it, isn't it now the centrist position? Don't panic, little buddy. Political labels are about mockery, not accuracy. That sounds awfully leftist of you.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-17 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-17 Pub. Date: 2018-04-17
Image Number: 170593
Caption: Can I ask you something man-to-man? Shoot. Let's say person A developed a crush on person B, who happens to be less productive. Let's say person A then conducted a study that concluded there's a 78.9% chance that such a crush leads to dating, then to cohabitation, and finally to person B becoming a a drain on person A's resources. Hypothetically, what's the best way to get person B to compensate person A for the time I ... he ... spent conducting the study? Very bad man.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-11 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-11 Pub. Date: 2018-04-11
Image Number: 170358
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie: My name is Morgan Peterson and I work with the finance house here in the Netherlands. Our late client, Mr. Williams, bequeathed his entire $650,000,000 estate to you. He was a big fan of your show. Anyway, so that the funds can be transferred to you, all I need is your bank account number and password, your social security number, name, address, phone number, birthdate, and the times when you are away from home. There is no risk to you. Sincerely, Morgan Peterson. I will hunt you and your family to the ends of the earth and squeeze you all to death with my bare armpit. I mean ... thank you for writing. Ask Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-07 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-07 Pub. Date: 2018-04-07
Image Number: 170209
Caption: How was your date last night, little buddy? I'm not sure. We were having a great time, laughing, joking … when out of nowhere she said that's rude. That's what I asked. She answered you're acting all annoyed all of a sudden. I said Why? She said … You sighed. Please tell me your response was simply I didn't mean anything by it. I helpfully informed her that a sigh is a reflexive bodily function we do subconsciously several times an hour to reinflate the alveoli in our lungs to allow for the transport of oxygen and carbon dioxide. Sigh.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-06 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-06 Pub. Date: 2018-04-06
Image Number: 170208
Caption: Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! I don't want to vaccinate my kids. But my husband does. What do I do? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Mother Cohen and Father Cohen were arguing about vaccinating us kids. Father Cohen accused her of being a pawn of the Illuminati's attempt to use diphtheria to mutate us into ape-people. Mother Cohen accused him of being anti-Darwinian. That's when Father Cohen brought up her illicit fling with Chuck Darwin, and all heck broke loose. Um ... thanks?
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-03 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-03 Pub. Date: 2018-04-03
Image Number: 170205
Caption: Boss, someone called The Fixer is here to see you. Excellent. Go out and tell him I want him to teach you everything he knows. I don't see why I should have to keep paying him when I've got my very own minion. Pay extra attention to the issue vague threats to shut down lawsuits part. If he asks why I didn't fire him myself, you tell him I've moved to Botswana. Very bad man.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-01 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-01 Pub. Date: 2018-04-01
Image Number: 169596
Caption: Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't exactly go as planned. So I said to him I thought you were the Union! And I got up and walked out. Which was just as well, because in retrospect I'm sur ehe was trying to become my sugar daddy. And what was the question again? Ask Sadie. Almost answering questions since 1920-something. Send questions to asksadieshow@gmail.com.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-30 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-30 Pub. Date: 2018-03-30
Image Number: 169901
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Donald Rump. In other words, we'll be discussing the childish way people mangle the names of politicians with whom they disagree. Such as Barack O-Blame-A, Ronald Raygun, George W. Tush, Shrillery Clinton, Jimmy Farter, Gerald Bored, Herbert Loser, Cow Pen Coolidge ... and one from great-grandma Cohen's day ... Abraham Stinkin'.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-24 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-24 Pub. Date: 2018-03-24
Image Number: 169643
Caption: Ask Sadie Advice Hour, what's your problem?! Could you explain your joke for the other day about the flying squirrel and the great acorn. Nothing doing. Jokes are never funny once they're explained. Please? I'm sure I'll still find it funny. Sigh. Fine ... When I said my ancestor was a flying squirrel who prayed to the great acorn to get rid of the triceratops who were trampling her magnolias, I was implying that that's why the asteroid wiped out the dinosaurs. That's not funny. I will hunt you to the ends of the earth!!!
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-23 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-23 Pub. Date: 2018-03-23
Image Number: 169642
Caption: What's your question for Ask Sadie? What's the most humane way to get squirrels out of my garden? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time one of my ancestors had a similar question. Ironically, she was a spunky flying-squirrel-like creature who prayed to the great acorn to do something about the triceratops that kept stomping her magnolias. My advice: Go great-acorn on those squirrels!!! Did that really happen? It's family lore! I don't question it!
     
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