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Dustin

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1. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-11-20 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-11-20 Pub. Date: 2017-11-20
Image Number: 164945
Caption: No fair. Give me one good reason why we should be in here cooking while they watch football. They can't cook and I hate football. Those reasons are twice what I asked for, and twice as good as I expected. I'm just getting warmed up.
     
2. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-10-05 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-10-05 Pub. Date: 2017-10-05
Image Number: 163148
Caption: I hate to give you bad news, Mr. Kaminsky, but divorce is expensive. I've prepared a breakdown in your case of how the major assets will likely be divided. I don't suppose we can ask the judge to let me off for time served?
     
3. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-09-16 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-09-16 Pub. Date: 2017-09-16
Image Number: 162401
Caption: So, would you like to go on a date sometime? I don't see why not. Excuse me, miss? I'm going to have to ask for you car keys.
     
4. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-09-12 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-09-12 Pub. Date: 2017-09-12
Image Number: 162397
Caption: So, just out of curiosity, how does one get fired during orientation? The supervisor was showing me the time clock. He said I had to clock in when I arrived for the day. And you "asked an impertinent question." Impertinent? What clock doesn't have a snooze button?
     
5. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-08-30 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-08-30 Pub. Date: 2017-08-30
Image Number: 161862
Caption: Youtube keeps asking me if I want to try a paid subscription. Why would anybody do that? There are no ads with a subscriptions, so it saves time. If people were worried about wasting time, they wouldn't be on Youtube.
     
6. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-08-28 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-08-28 Pub. Date: 2017-08-28
Image Number: 161860
Caption: I linked to this from a company website. Where are you now? I'm not sure. A product forum? Ah, technology. Now you can ask any question about any product in the world … and instantly get a dozen wrong answers. This is a blog.
     
7. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-08-09 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-08-09 Pub. Date: 2017-08-09
Image Number: 161121
Caption: Is mom mad at you? She didn't say a word when she walked through here. I think so … A little earlier I asked if it's supposed to rain tomorrow. That's it? How could that possibly upset her? I think I accidentally called her Siri.
     
8. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-08-05 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-08-05 Pub. Date: 2017-08-05
Image Number: 160926
Caption: Did you get the lantana? Um … no, sweetheart. Ed, I told you I want to plant some lantana. It's all I asked you to get while I picked up all of these other things! I'm very sorry, sweetheart. Sorry?! One item, Ed! One item! And you can't remember it? I remembered Helen ... but the solar panel pitch guy is stationed by the plants today. Oh. Okay. We can come back tomorrow.
     
9. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-07-31 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-07-31 Pub. Date: 2017-07-31
Image Number: 160921
Caption: When do you want it? I'm heading out of town. Can I pick everything up tomorrow or Wednesday? Nifty Cleaners. I can do Friday after five. So why did you ask? I was hoping you wanted Friday after five.
     
10. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-07-03 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-07-03 Pub. Date: 2017-07-03
Image Number: 159774
Caption: What a day! A female client came into my office and asked for a quickie. Divorce. A quickie divorce.
     
11. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-06-25 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-06-25 Pub. Date: 2017-06-25
Image Number: 158878
Caption: I can't believe you wore that shirt to Home Depot. What's wrong with this shirt. The Home Depot. It's orange, Ed. Everyone's going to think you work here. Home Depot people wear aprons, Helen -- orange aprons. Excuse me. Where would I find your pickaxes? Oh ... I don't work here. I just wore an orange shirt today. Hey, can you tell me where you reciprocating saws are? I have no idea. I don't work here. This is a shirt, not an apron. Later. Ed? I've been looking all over the store. Where are you? I got fed up with everyone assuming I work here ... so I started making up locations for whatever obscure item they asked me about. There must be a half-dozen furious customers looking for me, Helen. What if you run into one of them? I know -- So I'm hiding out in the employee break room until the store closes.
     
12. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-06-11 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-06-11 Pub. Date: 2017-06-11
Image Number: 158399
Caption: Why does every rate increase notice begin with "in order to serve you better"? I'm on hold with these people to find out exactly what that means. You're wasting your time. Great. A recording … how convenient. Now I'm being asked to key in my sixteen-digit account number, "in order to serve me better." Bip bip boop blip bleep boop boop. Thank you for holding. May I have your account number? Seriously? I just keyed in all sixteen digits and now you're asking for it again?! And by the way, I listened to all of your menu options and they have not recently changed. How can I provide you with excellent customer service today? Do you have a time machine?
     
13. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-06-07 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-06-07 Pub. Date: 2017-06-07
Image Number: 158662
Caption: These trendy restaurants are all the same. The waiter will ask if we've dined with them before. And no matter what we say, a recital is forthcoming. You're right. "Our plates are small and meant to be shared. The chef recommends two or three per person." Have you dined with us before?
     
14. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-06-04 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-06-04 Pub. Date: 2017-06-04
Image Number: 158135
Caption: My two best friends and I really like playing music together. Awesome. So you started a band. The Scamps. Right. It's an inadvertent marching band. Wait -- What? An inadvertent marching band? That's right We started out as just a basic garage band … but whenever we practiced, the neighbors would ask us to go play somewhere else.
     
15. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-06-01 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-06-01 Pub. Date: 2017-06-01
Image Number: 158403
Caption: My wife asked me to pick up a bouquet of flowers … Florist … for a dinner party we're having tonight. What did you have in mind? I already told you everything I know.
     
16. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-05-29 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-05-29 Pub. Date: 2017-05-29
Image Number: 158400
Caption: Are we going to work smarter? Yes, we are. Will we do more with less? Yes, we will. Can we improve our numbers? Yes, we can. Will we ask and answer our own questions? Apparently so. Am I fired? Yes, I am.
     
17. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-03-05 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-03-05 Pub. Date: 2017-03-05
Image Number: 154598
Caption: Look, mom -- it's Amazon's Echo! It has a voice-enabled assistant named Alexa that can play music, read eBooks, find directions, give the weather, and even solve problems! Alexa, how many cups are there in two gallons? There are thirty-two cups in two gallons. I mean, seriously, how cool is that?! It even keeps your calendar! Alexa, what time is Dylan picking me up tonight? Dylan is picking you up tonight at 7 p.m. That is pretty incredible. Mom, is it okay if I stay out until midnight instead of 11? I don't know, Meg. I think you'll need to ask your father. Mom! We both know he'll just say no. Why don't we ask Alexa? Well ... I suppose she can handle it. Alexa, is it okay if I stay out until midnight instead of 11? I don't know, Meg. You'll need to ask Siri.
     
18. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-02-18 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-02-18 Pub. Date: 2017-02-18
Image Number: 154308
Caption: Goal achieved. Unsalted butter … I never thought I'd ask my watch to keep me fit. I never thought I'd ask my phone how to make cupcakes.
     
19. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-02-15 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-02-15 Pub. Date: 2017-02-15
Image Number: 154305
Caption: I'm guessing the Valentine's date didn’t' go so well. She was a lister. A lister? You know -- for emphasis she resorts to verbal bullet points. I asked if she thought I was her type, and she said, "A. You don't have a steady job; B. You live with your parents; C. You appear to lack ambition ... " What would get old fast. I stopped her when she got to M.
     
20. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-01-22 ask 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-01-22 Pub. Date: 2017-01-22
Image Number: 152910
Caption: Is Meg going to be here for dinner? I don't know. She was meeting friends at the mall, so it's anyone's guess. Then I'll just call and ask her. Call her? That's hilarious. Teenage girls don't answer calls from their parents. In that case, I'll leave her a message. Seriously? I think she considers voicemail a holdover from the Paleolithic era. Well, I asked her to set it up for emergencies and she said she would. Some teenage girls still appreciate the counsel of their fathers. Boop bip boop. You've reached the voicemail of Megan Kudlick. At the sound of the tone, please send me a text message.
     
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