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1. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-21 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-21 |
| Image Number: |
180494 |
| Caption: |
Gotta talk. You look shaken. I was visited by Christmas ghosts who warned me about the dangers of my frugal ways. I've got to change. I've got to figure out a way to hide my behavior from ghosts. I'll give you a nickel to fashion me a costume. Armstrong 1, Ghosts 0.
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2. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-19 |
| Image Number: |
180492 |
| Caption: |
Armstrong, you have been a terrible Scrooge and it has hurt many lives. Look: May I have my first cost of living wage increase in a decade? Next decade. Despair. I can't afford to upgrade my iPhone. Mistake. Who cued up the tale of Tiny Rudy?! Show me more despair.
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3. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-18 |
| Image Number: |
180437 |
| Caption: |
Last week, stingy café owner Armstrong Maynard was visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past. (We know it's early, but the ghost was booked). Our story continues … Lemme guess, Ghost of Christmas Present? Yep. Cough cough. You're a smoker? What, I don't get enough grief from Ghost of Christmas Future? Cigarettes kills you. Wise up. Cut it out! I'm haunting you!
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4. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-11 |
| Image Number: |
180338 |
| Caption: |
Armstrong Maynard, waaaake uuuuup!!! Waaaaaaaake uuuuuuuuppp!!! Give me a break. Heavy sleepers are absolutely the worst part of the haunting business. Bang on a pot!
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5. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-09-27 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-27 |
| Image Number: |
179531 |
| Caption: |
You're right. I know I'm addicted to my iPhone. I know I buy a lot of apps. I do it because I'm bored. If I don’t do this, I'll ask Randy for dating tips. Or play a joke on Sadie, or pester Darlene, or ask Armstrong for a raise. Where did everyone go? What about my intervention? Thwack!
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6. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-09-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-19 |
| Image Number: |
179409 |
| Caption: |
Citizen journalist alert! What now? Cort and Armstrong are going together to see Sean Hannity speak. So? HOJ. They're going together. Like on a date! Like we go to the movies? You're not listening! Trying as hard as I can not to.
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7. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-05-30 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-05-30 |
| Image Number: |
177822 |
| Caption: |
Laurel, it's Rudy. Are you busy? It's noon. I'm at work -- teaching. Of course. I'm sorry to bother you. By the way, Armstrong cut back my hours, Computer Villa has banished me, I'm bored and broke and I'm a loser. Talk to you later. Oh give me a break.
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8. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-04-20 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-04-20 |
| Image Number: |
177237 |
| Caption: |
Rudy, have a seat. There's something I need to tell you. Oh no. Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. I've made a decision. I've decided not to fire you. I love that such a personnel decision is considered news around here. Relieved and disgusted.
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9. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-01-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-01-16 |
| Image Number: |
175855 |
| Caption: |
Armstrong is doping the girls on Team Caffeine with Sadie Cohen saliva? Slips it into their cocoa. The team hasn't lost in months. They're monsters. Do you realize what this means? Well I suppose I do grasp the full implications. We should bet on the team. I've contacted a bookie.
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10. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-01-15 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-01-15 |
| Image Number: |
175854 |
| Caption: |
Armstrong is giving performance enhancing drugs to the girls on the café's basketball squad. Steroids? Far more powerful and dangerous. Yowza. Sadie Cohen saliva. The spittle of champions.
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11. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-10-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-10-11 |
| Image Number: |
174418 |
| Caption: |
Sir, your latest research troubles me. It['s irrefutable. You and Armstrong regularly upgrade your devices at precisely the same time of the month. Your upgrade cycles are synchronized. Nonsense. That suggests I have no control over when I upgrade. I'm not some drone who upgrades without even thinking about ... uh oh. You were saying, drone?
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12. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-10-09 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-10-09 |
| Image Number: |
174416 |
| Caption: |
Rudy, am I correct that you and Armstrong each just upgraded your laptops? Yeah, so? And last month, if I'm not mistaken, you and Armstrong each upgraded your phones. Again, so? Don't you see what's happened to you and Armstrong? You've synchronized your cycles. What? Your upgrade cycles! They're in sync! What in the world are you talking about? What in the world indeed?!
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13. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-07-12 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-07-12 |
| Image Number: |
172762 |
| Caption: |
Sadie was nominated as Most Obnoxious And Caustic Talk Show Host of the Year. She's so anxious about winning (Which she wants) she's asked Armstrong to open the envelope. What's it say? It says. Wait for it. Congratulations. WOOHOO SUCKERS!!! You're the biggest jerk on radio. |
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14. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-06-13 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-06-13 |
| Image Number: |
172242 |
| Caption: |
Armstrong told me to get all our regulars to show up. What for, you miserable dork? Tap tap tap tap tap. I'm not supposed to tell people what a horrible calamity's about to strike. He said not to panic anyone if I care about them … Well played, cretin. I just texted what I told you to the guy who audited me.
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15. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-05-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-05-18 |
| Image Number: |
171511 |
| Caption: |
I can't believe you're going to sue me, Rudy. What kind of person sues his own friend? I'm not. I dropped the lawsuit, Armstrong. I re-checked the programming in the cryptocurrency I created, and it has a flaw I'd overlooked. I forgot to put a dash on command line 457,000 so as soon as 457,000 people traded the currency, the entire currency collapsed. Sorry I accused you of hacking my computer and stealing all my money, boss. So you're saying you're sorry you willfully and maliciously slandered me? Wait ... are you recording me on that computer?
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16. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-05-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-05-05 |
| Image Number: |
171063 |
| Caption: |
Boss? I was cleaning out the bunker like you said to, when I stumbled across blueprints for an O'Neill cylinder. You're imagining things, minion. The front page was a to-do list: Step five was herd genetically modified people onto orbital O'Neill cylinder. Step four was slip fattener into coffee. Step three was become minister of cafes. Step two: Elect Trump. Relax, it's just a short story I wrote in the '80s when I was a hatchling - I mean when I was a kid. Step one was assume identity of original Armstrong Maynard.
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17. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-04-21 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-04-21 |
| Image Number: |
170597 |
| Caption: |
So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.
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18. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-01-08 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-01-08 |
| Image Number: |
167104 |
| Caption: |
I'm not sure the advice you gave me about Andrea Wheaton is working, Mr. Armstrong. Details. I asked her to form a romantic partnership, just like you said, where she'd be a 50% sharehoarder. Shareholder. She didn't bite? She threw the prospectus in the trash. If a girl throws your prospectus in the trash, she's not the girl for you.
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19. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-12-25 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-12-25 |
| Image Number: |
166539 |
| Caption: |
Boss? There was a scrawny pigeon taped to my bedroom window this morning. A post-it note stuck to its back said "Sincerely, Armstrong." So it wasn't a dream! Last night, as I slumbered in my bed, I was visited by three spirits. They took me on a tour of Christmases past, present, and future. I used the tips future-me gave me to tell past-me to save money so present-me can buy the right obscure stocks, so future-me can reap huge dividends in 2047. Very. Bad. Man. The ghosts said something about my not appreciating you. So I swung by and left you a Christmas dinner, to pacify them.
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20. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-11-20 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-11-20 |
| Image Number: |
165176 |
| Caption: |
Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."
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