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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about apples.

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Result page:     (19 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-18 apple 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-18 Pub. Date: 2017-11-18
Image Number: 164875
Caption: What up witcha girl Siri, bruh? What do you mean? I was mindin' my business, watchin' "Gilligan's Island." All of a sudden cops bust down my door an' demand to know what I done to my "little buddy." The rookie cop kept screamin' "Drop the coconut." Oh yeah. I forgot to mention Apple's Siri sometimes calls the police if it thinks the voices from the tv told it to call 911. I ain't even had no coconut.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-06 apple 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-06 Pub. Date: 2017-10-06
Image Number: 163374
Caption: I want apple juice. I can't give you any. Oh … why? Are you poor? You can't afford apple juice? No, it's that I'm not your dad. I'm a stranger. It's not my place to go giving you drinks. You need money, don't you? You can say so. I have seven moneys I could give you. Where are your parents?
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-15 apple 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-15 Pub. Date: 2017-08-15
Image Number: 161532
Caption: Guess what? My iPhone 7 just started slowing down. Just a month or so before the iPhone 8 comes out. Remember when my iPhone 6 started slowing down? That was just about a month or so before the iphone 7 came out. You know … Apple lawyers can hear erethang you sayin' through Siri, bruh. *I am not necessarily implying any trickery or intentional wrongdoing on the part of Apple. I wasn't never here.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-24 apple 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-24 Pub. Date: 2016-05-24
Image Number: 143638
Caption: I don't know why fools be keepin' useless junk from long ago. What the point of that is? How often you gonna open that box in your garage to look at the apple you finger-painted when you was four? They ain't no future generations gonna enshrine your third-grade diary in the Smithsonian. Ain't nobody gonna care 'bout no package Amazon delivered to your doorstep last week. I said give me back my package!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-25 apple 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-25 Pub. Date: 2014-09-25
Image Number: 116764
Caption: My Mac broke down, and I replaced it with a PC, and now I regret it. You should, dawg. Why you didnt come to me? I coulda hooked you up. I know a guy. He an' I done a lot of business. He coulda set you up with a top-of-the-line system for cheap. Long as you ain't ask too many questions. Would I get a credit for what I'd end up spending on my bail? (A) Don't stereotype, bruh ... an' (2) Yes.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-24 apple 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-24 Pub. Date: 2014-09-24
Image Number: 116763
Caption: Why didnt you tell me your Mac broke down, Lemont? Because you'd gloat. Of course I wouldnt gloat. I'd be too busy being frozen in shock that an infallible fusion of machine and heaven could ever break. Thanks for not gloating, Susan. Have you tried rebooting its angel feathers?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-23 apple 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-23 Pub. Date: 2014-09-23
Image Number: 116762
Caption: My Mac died on me again, so I thought I'd finally, after all these years, try a PC. You use a PC at work, right? Would you know how to fix a glitch? Maybe. What sort of glitch? Every time I tried installing an FTP program, it would also install an "optimizer," a "vacation planner" and a video of a cat boxing with a gerbil. You wanna know how to uninstall the programs you didn't want? I wanna know how to uninstall the angry-dent my fist put in the keyboard.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-22 apple 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-22 Pub. Date: 2014-09-22
Image Number: 116761
Caption: Zombiac Truman speaking. Hi, Truman, it's Lemont Brown. I was in a couple years ago. I brought you a new iMac and asked you to take out its guts and squeeze them into my beautiful old 2004 iMac's chassis. Well it just died, Truman. If I bring it in, you will fix it free of charge, right? Sir, do you still have a copy of the warranty I gave you? I thought I did, but I just have a paper with "ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha" written over and over in tiny print. No, that's the one.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-15 apple 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-15 Pub. Date: 2014-09-15
Image Number: 116478
Caption: I'm kind of disappointed in Apple's new smart watch. It's a rectangle. That's so 1980s. Watches are pretty much the only jewelry a hairy-chested man can get away with wearing without looking like he's in the mafia. This watch just doesnt work as man jewelry. It's too old-fashioned. You know what I'm saying? You sayin' you wanna feel better about the fact you can't afford that watch.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-02-28 apple 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-02-28 Pub. Date: 2013-02-28
Image Number: 93956
Caption: How much would it cost to repair my computer? Make and model? 2002 iMac. I see. Sir, have you thought of getting a new computer? This is the most beautiful iMac ever made. Are you gonna help me or not? Fun fact: There are over 800 million people who are younger than your computer. That's not helping!
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-11-30 apple 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-11-30 Pub. Date: 2012-11-30
Image Number: 90361
Caption: The Arab-Israeli Conflict: One Man's Analysis. Tap tap tap t - Another solution: Take a page from Apple and Google. Tap tap tap t - Tap. Both sides should claim they invented hummus, then spend all their time suing each other Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. We'd get peace, and maybe more innovation in the hummus industry. Tap tap tap.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-03-14 apple 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-03-14 Pub. Date: 2012-03-14
Image Number: 77314
Caption: I wanna apple. Eat your banana. I dont wanna banana. But you said you did, just ten minutes ago. Do you have any idea how lawge a pewcentage of my life ten minuth ith? Ith like a yeaw in gwown-up time. In that case, if you dont eat your banana, you won't get any food at all for six years.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-18 apple 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-18 Pub. Date: 2011-10-18
Image Number: 66793
Caption: Apple Co-founder Steve Jobs visits Lemont's dream. How's it feel to have freed the world? Totalitarian governments and oligarchies depend on keeping the common man uninformed. Divided. You gave the common man the means to instantly speak out and organize against oppression. Big Brother's days are numbered thanks to you. You freed the common man. Thanks. You freed everyone but the Chinese slaves who build all your stuff. You need to learn where to end your compliments. Besides, sweatshops and slavery are two different things.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-09-19 apple 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-09-19 Pub. Date: 2010-09-19
Image Number: 51944
Caption: 2010. Look at this! Racist signs at the tea party rallies! That means the tea party is racist! You can't blame the whole institution for the actions of a few bad apples. 2002. Look at this! Huge corporations are ripping us off! That means capitalism is broken! You can't blame the whole institution for the actions of a few bad apples. 1976. Look at this! "Welfare queens" buying houses and fancy cars on my taxpayer money! that means welfare is a huge fraud! You can't blame the whole institution for the actions of a few bad apples.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-28 apple 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-28 Pub. Date: 2010-02-28
Image Number: 44351
Caption: Am I speaking with whoever programs the iPhone's touchscreen keyboard? That's me. Is there a problem? How come when I type something, the cursor often skips around and inserts my new text into text I've already typed? Hmmm. Read me an example, I'll try to diagnose the problem. I tried to send a text that said "Kerry, that movie was awful but you're a lot of fun anyway." The iPhone sent it as "Kerry, that movie was a lot of fun anyway. But you're awful." I see. Here's what's going on ... You must have really fat fingers. ... Excuse me? You keep pigging the "return" key while you type. ... I'll call back after you've had your coffee. Make sure you don't accidentally pudge-dial Microsoft.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-28 apple 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-28 Pub. Date: 2009-03-28
Image Number: 31152
Caption: Yo Big L, you shoulda been at the club tonight, it Susan? I guess you're wondering why I'm here. It certainly wouldn't be because I took a dog for a walk, then next thing I knew, I was at Lemont's place, unlocking the door, inviting the dog in. And I certainly wouldn't have seen the dog log on to Lemont's iMac, delete a bunch of files, and EAT his external hard drive. Ok. You have a key? I always gotta use a hairpin. Can't you at least listen to me in my DREAMS?!
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-13 apple 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-13 Pub. Date: 2009-01-13
Image Number: 29374
Caption: Are you from the great house farm too? Huh? Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, shorty? I am Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey. I belong to Captain Anthony. I think perchance I am lost: last I remember, I had purloined an apple and was hiding behind a tarred fence. I believe I fell asleep. Upon awakening, I found myself in this strange place. What do you call this farm? "The Inner City." Never before have I glimpsed a plantation of such mammoth proportions!
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-07-23 apple 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-07-23 Pub. Date: 2008-07-23
Image Number: 25214
Caption: C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice. $.50. C-Dog, I've got an IRA and a 401K. But what would give me a better return on investment? Tsk. You need to be more risky. Here what y'do: Take fifteen, sixteen Apple. "Apple" as in Mac and iPod? Yeh. Then flip 'em for big profits when the economy pick up. Ok. So I should buy fifteen or sixteen hares of Apple stock. You could do that too. What? What?
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-07-05 apple 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-07-06 Pub. Date: 2005-07-05
Image Number: 10872
Caption: Yo Lemont, I bought Apple's Garageband software with my Vista card, so I can finally burn my own album.
     
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