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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (21 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-10 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-10 Pub. Date: 2017-08-10
Image Number: 161294
Caption: You remember the other day, when I said we're behind a lot of other countries in a lot of areas? Well, I wrote an article about that for Candorville.com. Within 15 minutes, I counted over 3,000 replies that included a variant of the phrase "If you don't like it here, go someplace else." So I did a little more research, and then posted an article about how we're far behind a lot of other countries in "going someplace else." ... That's when I found out we're number one in the amount of angry comments posted in all-caps. I been out of the state once. That was weird.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-21 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-21 Pub. Date: 2017-04-21
Image Number: 157016
Caption: Y'know, this world could be a paradise. For the amount of money the world spends on war … We could pay people to leave the rainforests alone. We could feed everyone. We could give everyone health care and an education. We could plant gardens everywhere. The big flower industry would hire armed goons to protect the roses.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-07 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-07 Pub. Date: 2016-07-07
Image Number: 145505
Caption: Garcia, it's come to my attention that you earn substantially less than your male colleagues, even though you do better work. That is totally unacceptable. I've discussed it with the partners, and we'd like to offer you a raise. CEO of the Year 2002. From now on, you'll be earning only slightly less than your male colleagues. I'm only slightly less disgusted. She's accepted. Draw up the paperwork.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-23 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-23 Pub. Date: 2016-01-23
Image Number: 137949
Caption: Hello, creditor, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown after 8p.m. In case you didn't notice, I retyped the fine print in the credit application you approved. I changed it to "company agrees to pay Mr. Brown twice the amount of his debt if company ever calls him after 8p.m." At the sound of the beep, let me know where to send the bill. Beep. Click!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-30 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-30 Pub. Date: 2015-10-30
Image Number: 134386
Caption: Dear Lemont Brown, you've been prequalified for a debt consolidation loan from Lendingstone! You're guaranteed a loan of up to the entire amount of your debt! But since you've run up enough debt to need something like this, you're a poor credit risk; so we'll only loan you a tiny fraction of what you need. Sign here to get just enough to free up one of you cards, which you'll then use to run up even more debt. Lemont Brown.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-10 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-10 Pub. Date: 2014-05-10
Image Number: 111022
Caption: The suit-animals tossed me $85 in coins today, Rosencrantz. They gave you $84.50. So? Do you assume that makes you better? Do you not have even a flicker of doubt about that whole system of self-worth measurement? Suppose it had come down against you, with ME getting 50 cents more? It could easily have happened ... ... And by your system, that'd make you inferior. Shouldn't you be shining my shoes?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-09 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-09 Pub. Date: 2014-05-09
Image Number: 111021
Caption: I feel the spell about to be broken, Rosencrantz. What? It's been a very good day. Nice breeze, good company. Thank you. That means something bad's about to happen. We must pay for every measure of pleasure with an equal amount of pain. I'm still not letting your thump me on the head with your shoe. Rosencrantz, don't be an idiot. Do you want something even worse to happen?
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-18 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-18 Pub. Date: 2014-01-18
Image Number: 106176
Caption: Hello, creditor, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown after 8 PM. In case you didnít notice, I retyped the fine print in the credit application you approved. I changed it to "Company agrees to pay Mr. Brown twice the amount of his debt if company ever calls after 8 PM." At the sound of the beep, let me know where to send the bill. BEEP. Click!
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-21 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-21 Pub. Date: 2013-11-21
Image Number: 104085
Caption: Google told me how to get you to go to sleep. Bwing it on! Experts divaricate on the matter. Mindell advocates progressively shortening the amount of time I remain in your room. Ferber, contrarily, posits closing your door for successively longer periods of time. The AAP postulates allowing you to select your own pajamas and sleep with teddy bears and other transitional objects will ameliorate your odds of success vis-a-vis somnolence. Zzzzzz. Brazelton posits that. I thaid Zzzzzz. (Originally published on 2012-04-12).
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-09 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-09 Pub. Date: 2013-06-09
Image Number: 97405
Caption: Rev, you know how you announced that we need $100k for renovations? Why do you ask, Marlin? Well Ö A congregant named Steven Warren put a $100,000 check in the donation plate. I donít know if we should cash it: it seems like it must be a mistake. For one thing, the largest donation we ever made before was $50. "Looketh not a gift horse in the mouth." Not an official verse, but it should've been. Also, he mistakenly signed it "Mick E. Mouse. "Letteth not an unconventional nickname stop you from cashing a check." Not an official verse ...
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-03 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-03 Pub. Date: 2013-05-03
Image Number: 96490
Caption: I feel the spell about to be broken, Rosencrantz. What? It's been a very good day. Nice breeze, good company. Thank you. That means something bad's about to happen. We must pay for every measure of pleasure with an equal amount of pain. I'm still not letting you thump me on the head with your shoe. Rosencrantz, don't be an idiot. Do you want something even worse to happen? (Originally published 2011-07-29).
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-12 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-12 Pub. Date: 2012-04-12
Image Number: 79197
Caption: Google told me how to get you to go to sleep. Bwing it on! Experts divaricate on the matter. Mindell advocates progressively shortening the amount of time I remain in your room. Ferber, contrarily, posits closing your door for successively longer periods of time. The AAP postulates allowing you to select your own pajamas and sleep with teddy bears and other transitional objects will ameliorate your odds of success vis-a-vis somnolence. Zzzzzz. Brazelton posits that. I thaid Zzzzzz.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-03-04 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-03-04 Pub. Date: 2012-03-04
Image Number: 76508
Caption: Reverend Wilfred, the Board of Trustees feels you're creating far too permissive an environment. There's a disturbing amount of hip-hop, short skirts and jacketless men in the congregation. The board's asked me, as deacon, to help you rein in the laxity and the temptation. I've brought a list of mandatory suggestions. Can you repeat that? When I was earning my doctorate in theology, I must've missed that class. What class are you referring to, reverend? "Alienating the youth and thereby condemning your church to a slow death, 101." You're only allotted one Kirk Franklin song a week.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-06 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-06 Pub. Date: 2012-01-06
Image Number: 74807
Caption: Doctor Dogg's How to Live Large when you a broke #$% fool with no job! Honk! We gon' git right into it. Let's say you get a utility bill in the mail that say "final notice," whachoodo? Pay it. Uh-uh, fool! Smack! This is gonna be good. You wait til they send it again in red letters. Then you only pay the past-due amount.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-29 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-29 Pub. Date: 2011-07-29
Image Number: 63737
Caption: I feel the spell about to be broken, Rosencrantz. What? It's been a very good day. Nice breeze, good company. Thank you. That means something bad's about to happen. We must pay for every measure of pleasure with an equal amount of pain. I'm still not letting you thump me on the head with your shoe. Rosencrantz, don't be an idiot. Do you want something even worse to happen?
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-10 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-10 Pub. Date: 2010-01-10
Image Number: 42642
Caption: Know how Ms. Washington always said I'd never amount to nuthin'? Ms. Wash -- from first grade? Ö An' how when I sent Russell Simmons my first rap on the eight track, he shattered it with a baseball bat, lit it on fire and mailed it back to me C.O.D.? (Sigh) Just no call, doing that to a two-year-old. Well the C-Dog has finally arrived, fools. Look at this. A fan from Maine sent it. Is this a bear? Yeh, it -- what? No, fool, it's somebody SUV! An' the plates say "CDOGFAN"! MS. WASHINGTON, YOU AN' RUSSELL SIMMONS CAN KISS MY B ... Looks like a bear to me.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-03-31 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-03-31 Pub. Date: 2007-03-31
Image Number: 16524
Caption: Ever notice how CNN's Baghdad Reporter Michael Ware always has exactly three days' growth of beard on his face? Every day, same amount of stubble. What's that tell you, Susan? That you watch way too much news? It tells you the news is all fake!
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-06-13 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-06-14 Pub. Date: 2006-06-13
Image Number: 13986
Caption: Would you like dessert, sir? No thanks, I'm full. Very well. Would you like the check, then? No thanks. I'm broke.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-01-29 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-02-02 Pub. Date: 2006-01-29
Image Number: 12882
Caption: Thank you for calling your "Singular" voicemail. Good news! We've just upgraded your voicemail service. Previously, you were able to easily skip or delete messages from telemarketers or your annoying relatives, but we have concealed this convenience! What the ....? From now on, voicemail won't tell you how to do that, so unless you figure it out on your own, you'll need to listen to each entire message! We estimate this will increase the amount of time you waster listening to voicemail by at least 856%! What the #$$% would they do this?! More good news! Did we mention you are charged by the minute for calling your voicemail?
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-10-29 amount 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-10-29 Pub. Date: 2005-10-29
Image Number: 11983
Caption: Susan, can you believe President Bush has taken more than a year of vacation in the past four years? Can you imagine what would happen to me if I took that much time off from work? Clyde, you don't have a job. That ain't the point.
     
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