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Result page:    2  3  4  5  Next  (94 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-20 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-20 Pub. Date: 2017-10-20
Image Number: 163906
Caption: We're not done mourning the last mass shooting, so it's inappropriate to talk about gun control. It's too soon. Seriously? We're averaging almost one mass shooting per day. When exactly will it be appropriate to talk about it? I believe there's and opening between 11:58pm and 11:58 and 22 seconds.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-16 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-16 Pub. Date: 2017-10-16
Image Number: 163902
Caption: Do you have any idea how many mass shootings we've had in America this year? In just the first 75 days of the year, we had 273 mass shootings. That's almost one per day. There are more mass shootings than there are days in the baseball season. You know what that means, don't you? It mean mass shootings is America new national pastime. Stop stealing my lines.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-08 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-08 Pub. Date: 2017-09-08
Image Number: 162346
Caption: Dick Fink, come in here for a second, will you? Ok, Ms. Garcia. The CEO called me into his office today to ask why our nemesis, McMahon, Tate, Stephens and Evans, called him for a reference. He was furious. Almost fired me. Apparently someone sent them my resume, and said the best time to call would be 3 a.m. Do you know anything about this? No. But I'll prevaricate ... I mean, investigate ... this thoroughly.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-26 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-26 Pub. Date: 2017-08-26
Image Number: 161805
Caption: I saw all them tweets you made this mornin' about how both sides need to come together … about how even though both sides have very different views of what our defining principles ought to be, we should respect each other. I was almost with you right till the last tweet, which don't make no sense, bruh. #startrekdiscovery fans + #oldschooltrek fans, stop the madness! is pretty self-explanatory, Clyde. What language is you even speaking?
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-09 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-09 Pub. Date: 2017-08-09
Image Number: 161293
Caption: We're behind a lot of other countries in health care, social mobility, internet service, cellphone service, education … income equality, infrastructure, high-speed trains, voting, democratic representation, linguistic diversity, life expectancy, religious diversity, please, press freedom, child well-being, happiness, sleep, literacy, leisure, retirement security, gender equality, minimum wage, homicide rates, prosperity, the cost of food ... Other than military spending and the number of people we throw in prison, we're behind in almost everything ... so why do people still chant "we're number one!" All the time? Where we is on math?
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-05 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-05 Pub. Date: 2017-08-05
Image Number: 161035
Caption: You know what I love more than almost anything in this world, Clyde? … French fries. They're like a tragic, ill-fated romance. No matter how bad they are for me, I just can't stay away. Can I have some of your fries, Clyde? Sorry, bruh, my fries be monogamous.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-24 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-24 Pub. Date: 2017-07-24
Image Number: 160757
Caption: I'm glad you're not mad at me, Lemont. Why would I be mad at you, Susan? You didn't make me accuse my girlfriend of cheating on me just because she had an innocent dinner with some other guy. Sure, you sent me the video and warned me it was too painful to watch, so I sprung it on her sight-unseen and it turned out to be nothing ... and sure, you forgot to tell me they didn't leave together or exchange numbers ... And sure, you almost single-handedly wrecked one of the best things to ever happen to me in my life ... Well, I'm just glad you're no mad, old buddy. And sure ...
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-18 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-18 Pub. Date: 2017-01-18
Image Number: 153406
Caption: Vancouver was nervous, just like me. There we stood, two people who'd Facebooked every day for a year … who earn a living telling stories to millions … yet neither of us could string together a complete sentence. She drew me into her home in absolute silence ... Almost. I could hear out soft footsteps on her carpet. I could hear my own heart beating. I could hear my phone ring. I could hear her say "You gonna get that?" I could hear myself say "It's just a telemarketer." Dios mio.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-19 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-19 Pub. Date: 2016-11-19
Image Number: 151021
Caption: 1982. Mrs. Cass just taught us about the Big Bang. It's how the universe started, in a big explosion. What exploded? A singularity. Mrs. Cass told us "It's like a zit. You may not know where it came from, but you sure do know when it pops." What's a "zit"? I almost never understand what Mrs. Cass says.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-13 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-13 Pub. Date: 2016-11-13
Image Number: 150252
Caption: Your suggestion didn't work, Susan. Thinking about baseball should have worked. Did you do it right? What do you mean? Did you think of the boring, repetitive parts? I tried. I thought about the batter swinging the bat around in the on-deck circle … the runners going around and around the diamond ... the batters swinging and almost always missing ... but instead of distracting me, it relaxed me. It wasn't boring, Susan. It was rhythmic. Baseball is a Zen-like experience that puts you into a trance. It frees the mind and makes it easier ... not harder ... for your mind to wander where you don't want it to go ... so it didn't stop me from wondering who's going to run for president in 2020. Ok, plan B: Try doing long division in your head.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-11 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-11 Pub. Date: 2016-11-11
Image Number: 150716
Caption: 1982. How come you never play Dracula tag with us at school? It's exciting! You start out with one person being "it," then whoever he tags is "it" also. And whoever they tag next is also "it," and so on. Before long, you have a whole yard of dozens of bloodthirsty vampires chasing the one lone survivor. That's scary! Momma says it prepares girls for dating. Don't look at me, I almost never understand what momma says, either.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-15 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-15 Pub. Date: 2016-10-15
Image Number: 149614
Caption: It's been a year since that magical night we spent near the lighthouse, and in jail … but Vancouver and I have been texting and Skyping almost every day since. Now I’m going to see her again in just six hours. I bet there'll be actual electricity when we touch. It's good that you're tempering your expectations.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-03 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-03 Pub. Date: 2016-10-03
Image Number: 149306
Caption: twitter™ Twitter.com/Candorville. Lemont Brown: Plane stuck on tarmac 2 hrs so far. No charging ports. Phone almost dead. May have to resort to conversation w/other human beings.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-10 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-10 Pub. Date: 2016-09-10
Image Number: 148219
Caption: I have to admit, Big L, you gettin' better. You made two shots in the right basket. I was proud, bruh. I was in the zone. It was like I was a leaf blowing on the wind. A pebble floating in the river Almost nobody even laughed this time when you tried to dunk an' missed the rim. You noticed that?
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-13 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-13 Pub. Date: 2016-08-13
Image Number: 147070
Caption: Do you have any children? Yeah, a son. He's almost two. Almost three. I like children. There's an old saying: "If you are not a liberal at twenty, you have no heart and if you are not a conservative at thirty, you have no brain." But that saying ignores that it's the very little kids who actually have it right. Anything they can grasp is theirs, and your rules mean nothing to them. I don't want to have this conversation. If you're not libertarian at two, you have no guts.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-18 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-18 Pub. Date: 2016-06-18
Image Number: 144567
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? There's a new Star Trek tv show coming next year. Isn't that a good thing? Star Trek is like a religion to you. Don't you see? When they canceled the first show, I wasn't even born. When they canceled the last show, I was almost thirty. When they cancel this next one, I'll be an old man! So? It happens ... and you, you'll be an old woman, Susan. Never.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-24 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-24 Pub. Date: 2016-04-24
Image Number: 141854
Caption: What's wrong wit' you, Big L? Nothing makes sense anymore. In Star Trek, they almost never jump to warp speed until they've left a star system. It takes light from the sun about eight minutes to reach earth. It takes 5.3 hours for that same sunlight to reach Pluto. And yet, it only takes the Enterprise one minute or so to leave a star system. Don't you see ... every time they use their impulse drive to leave a star system, they're still traveling faster than light. But they're not yet warping space. That means they should be affected by time dilation. For every second that passes for them, weeks or months should pass back on earth. Just like e'ry second of this conversation for you be like months for me. Exactly! Even you can understand that!
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-23 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-23 Pub. Date: 2016-04-23
Image Number: 142117
Caption: Tyrone, for whom did you cast your vote? Anderson Jackson Perot Bradley Dean Sanders Chisolm. I figured that was the only candidate who could create real change. Of course, Reagan Bush Gore Bush Kerry Clinton Nixon Clinton won, in the end. That one almost always wins. No change is always easier than change.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-16 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-16 Pub. Date: 2016-03-16
Image Number: 140511
Caption: Why do you keep walking two feet ahead of me, Clyde? I don't know what you talkin' 'bout, Big L. It's almost like you're trying to put on some primal show of dominance. Like you're trying to be the alpha male here. You always over-thinkin' things, bruh. Then how come you sped up as soon as I got next to you? Two words: "Your" an' "breath." ... an' "stank."
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-06 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-06 Pub. Date: 2016-03-06
Image Number: 139630
Caption: Hi Elmer, election day is almost here! You may remember that we helped you register to vote at a student even at University of Texas at Austin. "Elmer"? This election is the most important election someone in your community has ever faced. Now is your chance to take control for all Antarctic-Americans and really weigh in on the issues you indicated matter most to you ... such as "climate change," "wool sweater importation tariffs," and "penguin-albatross miscegenation." Can we count on you to vote, Mr. Fudd? Bruh, I ain't never been to University of Texas in Austin. Somebody done clowned you with the wrong number. But we gave you a free frisbee. An' what the @#$% I care about "penguin-albatross miscegenation"? Love is love.
     
Result page:    2  3  4  5  Next  (94 images)