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Dustin

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1. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-10-24 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-10-24 Pub. Date: 2017-10-24
Image Number: 163964
Caption: This booth is a stupid idea! Halloween Costume Advice. Here's a broom. You can be a witch. That’s it? A stupid broom? Believe me, it's all you'll need.
     
2. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-10-19 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-10-19 Pub. Date: 2017-10-19
Image Number: 163806
Caption: The tv plays the whole time you're pumping gas. It was actually entertaining. But they did run two Slim Jim ads. What's that all about? Showing me a commercial while I'm already spending big bucks on gas? Did you buy a Slim Jim? Yes.
     
3. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-10-01 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-10-01 Pub. Date: 2017-10-01
Image Number: 162686
Caption: What do you think? What is it? They call it a "salmon ladder." The producers of American Ninja Warrior -- It's a show where contestants compete on an extremely demanding obstacle course. Once I master the salmon ladder, the rest will be easy. So what is it? A hybrid chin-up station where you pull the bar off its rungs and keep moving it up to the next set ... until you make it all the way to the top. Get it? I'll be like a salmon swimming upstream. You know, they have to do that to spawn. Thump. So I guess your mother and I shouldn't count on you for grandchildren.
     
4. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-09-20 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-09-20 Pub. Date: 2017-09-20
Image Number: 162689
Caption: We should make assignments for our group project. Can I be leader? Um, you don't know what's going on. Sure I do. Doug's gonna sleep through the whole thing … Becky will act confused. You'll do all the work … and I'll take the credit. I stand corrected. What are you guys talking about?
     
5. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-08-25 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-08-25 Pub. Date: 2017-08-25
Image Number: 161595
Caption: You don't think its too trendy? Not at all. And it will look great with this dress. I don't remember thinking about fashion when I was in high school. There should be a term for the opposite of ironic.
     
6. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-08-20 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-08-20 Pub. Date: 2017-08-20
Image Number: 161118
Caption: Thank you. You are so very welcome. Enjoy the rest of your day! We will. You do the same. Oh, that's so nice of you! Thank you, kind sir! You're welcome. It was great seeing you both! Well, we're just going to run along now, thank you. The pleasure was entirely mine! All right. Nice to see you. Come back soon! Never thought I'd say this, but I miss "no problem." Coffee.
     
7. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-08-10 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-08-10 Pub. Date: 2017-08-10
Image Number: 161122
Caption: How was your first day driving an ice cream truck? Terrible. They deducted all the ice cream I ate from my pay. Oh. So, what did you end up with? A stomachache.
     
8. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-08-05 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-08-05 Pub. Date: 2017-08-05
Image Number: 160926
Caption: Did you get the lantana? Um … no, sweetheart. Ed, I told you I want to plant some lantana. It's all I asked you to get while I picked up all of these other things! I'm very sorry, sweetheart. Sorry?! One item, Ed! One item! And you can't remember it? I remembered Helen ... but the solar panel pitch guy is stationed by the plants today. Oh. Okay. We can come back tomorrow.
     
9. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-07-15 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-07-15 Pub. Date: 2017-07-15
Image Number: 160044
Caption: This shrub is starting to droop. We could plant something else. What? You would do that? After all these years? Throw out the sagging mature plant for some new young thing? I thought you were working in the yard with mom. I didn't know what I was getting into.
     
10. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-07-13 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-07-13 Pub. Date: 2017-07-13
Image Number: 160042
Caption: We welcome Scoop to the program. Thanks for taking my call, Helen. I'm frankly worried about the endless proliferation of fake news. A serious issue indeed. And based on your name, Scoop, I'll bet you're a reporter. You know, I get that all the time, Helen. Actually, I'm a dog walker.
     
11. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-06-28 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-06-28 Pub. Date: 2017-06-28
Image Number: 159506
Caption: I don't like shopping online because I don't want my credit card information on an internet-enabled device. All used books $2 - $5. So I actually go to the store to make my purchase … where my credit card information goes onto someone else's internet-enabled device.
     
12. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-06-27 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-06-27 Pub. Date: 2017-06-27
Image Number: 159505
Caption: All this bad news makes me want to quit reading the paper. That's ridiculous. You can't blame the messenger. Are you going to boycott the bathroom scale? I'm not really crazy about that scale … Fake news?
     
13. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-06-25 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-06-25 Pub. Date: 2017-06-25
Image Number: 158878
Caption: I can't believe you wore that shirt to Home Depot. What's wrong with this shirt. The Home Depot. It's orange, Ed. Everyone's going to think you work here. Home Depot people wear aprons, Helen -- orange aprons. Excuse me. Where would I find your pickaxes? Oh ... I don't work here. I just wore an orange shirt today. Hey, can you tell me where you reciprocating saws are? I have no idea. I don't work here. This is a shirt, not an apron. Later. Ed? I've been looking all over the store. Where are you? I got fed up with everyone assuming I work here ... so I started making up locations for whatever obscure item they asked me about. There must be a half-dozen furious customers looking for me, Helen. What if you run into one of them? I know -- So I'm hiding out in the employee break room until the store closes.
     
14. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-06-12 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-06-12 Pub. Date: 2017-06-12
Image Number: 158879
Caption: So I paid good money to upgrade to the new version of Word, and now … when I open my files, all the text is meaningless gibberish. Well, it shouldn't be doing that. Tell me about it -- I'm a lawyer … turning plain text into meaningless gibberish is my job.
     
15. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-06-11 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-06-11 Pub. Date: 2017-06-11
Image Number: 158399
Caption: Why does every rate increase notice begin with "in order to serve you better"? I'm on hold with these people to find out exactly what that means. You're wasting your time. Great. A recording … how convenient. Now I'm being asked to key in my sixteen-digit account number, "in order to serve me better." Bip bip boop blip bleep boop boop. Thank you for holding. May I have your account number? Seriously? I just keyed in all sixteen digits and now you're asking for it again?! And by the way, I listened to all of your menu options and they have not recently changed. How can I provide you with excellent customer service today? Do you have a time machine?
     
16. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-06-07 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-06-07 Pub. Date: 2017-06-07
Image Number: 158662
Caption: These trendy restaurants are all the same. The waiter will ask if we've dined with them before. And no matter what we say, a recital is forthcoming. You're right. "Our plates are small and meant to be shared. The chef recommends two or three per person." Have you dined with us before?
     
17. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-05-02 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-05-02 Pub. Date: 2017-05-02
Image Number: 157345
Caption: So instead of being productive, you'd rather sit and watch Star Wars movies? The goal is to watch all eight by Star Wars Day on Thursday. You're welcome to join us. Count me in. The force is strong with this one.
     
18. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-05-01 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-05-01 Pub. Date: 2017-05-01
Image Number: 157344
Caption: Star Wars? Seriously? We're going to watch all eight movies by Star Wars Day on Thursday. Wait. There's actually a Star Wars Day? Yeah -- May the fourth. As in "May the fourth be with you." I see. So, all work must cease because of a bad science-fiction pun? You had me at "all work must cease."
     
19. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-04-28 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-04-28 Pub. Date: 2017-04-28
Image Number: 157076
Caption: You said you'd be home an hour ago. I called four times. I'm so sorry, sweetheart. The other partners decided to play a game. The first person to look at his phone at dinner had to pick up the tab. You're all such skinflints I'm surprised you're not still there. The manager finally comped out table so she could go home.
     
20. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-04-27 all 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-04-27 Pub. Date: 2017-04-27
Image Number: 157075
Caption: Level with me, Simone. What are my prospects? I want the unvarnished truth. Your work ethic is appalling, and your references are all negative. You behave like a pre-teen, so your employment history reads like Peter Pan on a pogo stick. Could we try that again with just a touch of varnish?
     
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