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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-25 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-25 Pub. Date: 2017-09-25
Image Number: 163097
Caption: Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my entire life being a journalist. Why bother? History just repeats itself anyway. Dr. Noodle. I just started reading a political memoir I heard about on the radio this morning. M.A. The Democrat James M. Cox wrote it after he lost the election of 1920 to Harding. It's called "That Which Occurred." He also blamed his loss on Bernie Sanders. I hope I can be as sharp as Bernie at his age.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-24 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-24 Pub. Date: 2017-09-24
Image Number: 162394
Caption: I can't shake the feeling that nothing is really real, doc. Dr. Noodle. I just got my doctorate in history. And I watch the news every day. And I've started feeling like I've wasted my whole life studying things that never happened. I mean, if everything I see happening right now is "fake," how am I supposed to trust history? How am I supposed to know that Mussolini or Napoleon or Genghis Khan or Robespierre or Caligula were ever really all that bad? Maybe all the journalists and scribes who chronicled their reigns were part of an age-old fake-news conspiracy dating all the way back to the days of Peisistratos? I see. When exactly did these doubts begin? Oh, about 546 B.C.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-28 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-28 Pub. Date: 2017-08-28
Image Number: 162087
Caption: You know how Marvel had heroes star in separate movies, and then they all united in "The Avengers"? And then on Netflix Marvel had separate series, and then they all united in "The Defenders"? Why don't newspaper comic strips do that? You've got a couple hundred separate characters who've been building an audience for decades. What if the protagonists from "The Oldersons," "23 Skiddoo" and "Should've Ended in 1950" got together? It'd be epic. They could call it "The Dependers." Careful, you ain't all that young neither, bruh.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-19 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-19 Pub. Date: 2017-08-19
Image Number: 161536
Caption: It's estimated the Amazon contains about 100 tribes never contacted by outside civilization. And there are hundreds more uncontacted people in jungles all over the world. They've probably never heard of the black plague, or the Dark Ages, or the Mongol hordes, or World War II, or Donald Trump ... and we've never heard of all the calamities they've survived, either.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-14 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-14 Pub. Date: 2017-08-14
Image Number: 161531
Caption: Remember when we were kids, we used to talk about all the places we wanted to visit? Yeah. Well … I'm halfway through my list, and I've realized something. Some of the countries I wanted to visit don't exist anymore. You know what that mean, Lemont? It means you're very, very old, Susan. You ever realize you've said something out loud that you didn't mean to say out loud? It means someday our country won't be h ... Wait, what?
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-02 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-02 Pub. Date: 2017-08-02
Image Number: 161032
Caption: You look happy. I AM happy. The sun's shining, there's a warm breeze and a great view. I mean, sure, someday I'll be too old or sick to enjoy any of that … and sure, someday, I'll be lying on my deathbed, realizing I'll never enjoy any of that again, but ... Um ... Forget I told you you look happy. Thanks a lot, Susan.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-29 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-29 Pub. Date: 2017-04-29
Image Number: 157289
Caption: 1982. What'll life be like when we're 40? It'll be the 21st century, Susan. We'll have achieved all sorts of things. There won't be any more poverty. Little kids won't have to go hungry. Russia won't be such a poopyhead. The cold war will be over. We'll either all be friends because we're just so tired of being enemies, or we'll all be radioactive mutants. Either way, it'll be really cool. Momma says there won't be any more Vietnams because we learned our lesson ... Whatever that means.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-13 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-13 Pub. Date: 2017-04-13
Image Number: 156721
Caption: You been grabbing your chest an' your jaw all day, Big L. What that be about? Nothing. It doesn't hurt. Didn't ask if it hurt, bruh. Oh. Of course not. Anyway, did you see that dumb Pepsi commercial? The one with Kendall Jenner, where they acted like class and racial tensions can be cured by a cans of soda? Stop tryin' to change the subject. You prolly 'bout to have a heart attack. No I'm not. I'm only mumblety-two years old.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-02 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-02 Pub. Date: 2017-04-02
Image Number: 155710
Caption: You realize we've been fighting in Afghanistan for fifteen years now? The war's old enough to get a work permit. The war's old enough to get married in seven states, with parental consent. The Candorville Chronicle. Trump Hotel Mars not cause of NASA … The war's old enough to be held criminally liable for breaking the law. It's old enough to roll its eyes at its parents and think they don't know anything about anything. Dems consider, reject change. The Afghanistan war is old enough to have read Orwell's "1984," in which he wrote "The war is not meant to be won, it is meant to be continuous." Wait ... we're still in Afghanistan? The war is old enough to Google that quote and find out Orwell didn't really write that.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-29 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-29 Pub. Date: 2017-03-29
Image Number: 156199
Caption: If I had kids, I wouldn't want them having to take care of me when I'm old, Lemont. I know what you mean. I used to think that too, until I had a kid. I get a lot of joy taking care of him. Being the one he can depend on. Who am I to deny him the same joy? Taking care of me in my old age may be a great honor for him. A child is not a retirement plan. He is in a society that's not rotten to its core!
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-28 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-28 Pub. Date: 2017-03-28
Image Number: 156198
Caption: I've been wanting to see "get out" for weeks, Susan. I remember before I had a kid, I was at the movies every week. Now I don't have the time of the energy. I can't remember the last movie I saw that didn't involve a talking fish or a puppet. Reason #28,754 why I'll never have kids. On the other hand, movies won't change your diapers when you're old.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-26 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-26 Pub. Date: 2017-01-26
Image Number: 153704
Caption: I think the age of civility is over, Tyrone. Spare change. Will work 4 food. That's because you're totally biased. Very dishonest. A lightweight. Sad!!!
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-14 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-14 Pub. Date: 2016-12-14
Image Number: 152112
Caption: Are you ok, mister? I'm fine. Why do you ask? I saw you smack into that pole and crumble like a glacier falling into the sea. Pretty advanced metaphor for your age. We've got great schools in Canada.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-21 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-21 Pub. Date: 2016-11-21
Image Number: 151294
Caption: 1982. If you could live anywhere in the whole wide world, where would it be? Other than here, I mean. Oh. Well … I think I would have to choose Canada. But only 'cause Atlantis is under water, and I can't swim. You could learn to swim. At my age? I should've learned when I was young. You are about to be seven. I feel like I wasted my youth.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-07 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-07 Pub. Date: 2016-08-07
Image Number: 146197
Caption: Consider yourself lucky. When I was your age, I couldn't afford to have an iPad my father took away from me.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-29 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-29 Pub. Date: 2016-06-29
Image Number: 145230
Caption: What do you see when you look at that cloud, Susan? I see and old-school Cadillac. Looks like it has a flat. Two flats. And that other cloud looks like it's repossessing it. There's a cloud that looks like a doctor performing a colonoscopy. Maybe we're too old for this game. That cloud looks like a man being audited.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-18 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-18 Pub. Date: 2016-06-18
Image Number: 144567
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? There's a new Star Trek tv show coming next year. Isn't that a good thing? Star Trek is like a religion to you. Don't you see? When they canceled the first show, I wasn't even born. When they canceled the last show, I was almost thirty. When they cancel this next one, I'll be an old man! So? It happens ... and you, you'll be an old woman, Susan. Never.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-11 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-11 Pub. Date: 2016-06-11
Image Number: 144224
Caption: Hey, mister. What was life like in the olden days? I wouldn't know. I wasn't alive in the "olden days," kid. I'm only mumblety-one years old. Ok. What was life like back in your day? This is still "my day." What was Mr. Walt Disney like in person? He was dea - (sigh) He was a very mustached man.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-21 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-21 Pub. Date: 2016-05-21
Image Number: 143337
Caption: I took Lionel to his second baseball game the other day. We hadn't been to a Candorville Chokers game in two years. Back then, two Choker dogs, cokes and fries cost me $38. Last night it cost me $48. Back then, all the players were like 10 years younger than I was. But now they are all like 15 years younger. Having a kid speeds up the aging process. Baseball still around?
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-25 age 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-25 Pub. Date: 2016-03-25
Image Number: 140812
Caption: Harrison Ford gonna play Indiana Jones again. He gonna be 77 years old. That mean the movie gonna have to be set in the 1980s. They already done found everything by the eighties. What there was for an archaeologist to do in the eighties? I'll tell you what: In 1984, archaeologists found a sunk slave ship called the "Whydah Gally." The '80s story I'm picturin' got it all: jheri curls, leg warmers, an' 200 ticked off slave ghosts bent on revenge. That's ... wait, I'd watch the heck out of that.
     
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