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Candorville

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Result page:     (13 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-21 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-21 Pub. Date: 2017-05-21
Image Number: 157604
Caption: I'm tired of people complaining about how the coral reefs have pretty much died off. I mean yeah, a huge variety of fish and other sealife rely on the coral reefs. And yeah, about 500 million people in turn depend on that sealife for food, jobs and recreation. But it's not mankind's fault those sea creatures decided to sponge off the hard work of the polyps that made all the coral. Wait ... what? ... and it's not our fault that 500 million people didn't think ahead and get real jobs instead of sponging off welfare fish. Besides, marine habitats are something better left to private industry. If the fish really want vast expanses of underwater limestone shelters, let them buy it on the free market like the rest of us. Besides, I was just wasting my time with all those snorkeling vacations. I should've been working. You're just trying to make yourself feel better. Newsweak.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-27 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-27 Pub. Date: 2016-03-27
Image Number: 140573
Caption: I got a cousin in Flint, Michigan, bruh. He say I could buy a house for $2. You wanna go in on this with me? Between us, we could buy like 500 houses. Yeah, there are lots of reasons for that, Clyde. For instance … haven't you been watching the news? A whole generation of children in Flint has been poisoned by lead in the water, and it may have caused a fatal disease outbreak. Yeh, but that only affect people that use water, bruh. I've been meaning to say, I think you drink WAY too much Pepsi. For a $2 house, I'll bathe in it, too.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-20 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-20 Pub. Date: 2016-03-20
Image Number: 140250
Caption: President Trump's State of the Union Address: My fellow Americans, the state of the union is unbelievable. It's yuge! They said it would be small, it's yuge, believe me. One guy down here isn't applauding, and the cameras probably showed him. They didn't show the tons of people who clapped, they probably showed this one incompetent loser down here. Anyway ... They keep talking about this $500 billion deficit with China. They're winning and crying, boo-hoo, boo-hoo, like a bunch of weak little babies. Well this deficit is going away. You wanna know why? Because it's not gonna happen. We'll talk about that later. But first, we have to talk about this lightweight senator in the third row. Look at him. He's a nervous basket case. He looks like a weak little clown. And we're about to knock out ISIS, you know how? Like Truman. Patton. I'm going to pick up the phone, and forget about it, they're gone. Hey, loser, wake up. You're supposed to clap for that. What a clown. Click.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-08 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-08 Pub. Date: 2015-11-08
Image Number: 134381
Caption: NASA has hinted they'll find "definitive evidence" of alien life within 30 years. What if they're not just talking about microbes? I just read that the Kepler telescope discovered something amazing. Far away, around a star called KIC 8462852, Kepler spotted clumps of what seem to be artificial megastructures orbiting the star. Maybe the reason NASA's so confident they'll find life is because Kepler seems to a Dyson sphere under construction. A Dyson sphere is a megastructure that totally encompasses a start that whoever builds it can harness most of the star's energy output. KIC 8462852 is 1,500 light year away, Clyde. Do you know what that means? It mean you finally out-geeked y'self? It means we're looking 1500 years into the past at what may be the emergence of a type II civilization on the Karshev scale!!!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-23 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-23 Pub. Date: 2015-06-23
Image Number: 128672
Caption: Hobbler Day Care. Saul Crusher speaking. Yeah, I'm Lemont Brown. Lionel's dad … Yeah, two-year-old Lionel. He told me you said he was "bad" because he didn't want to go to sleep at nap time. When you tell a kid so early in his life that he's "bad," it affects how he sees himself. I don't pay you $500 per week to ruin my baby boy's self-esteem. When I say "you're a bad caregiver," how does that feel? Imagine if you were only two. Do not lean on door.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-29 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-29 Pub. Date: 2014-11-29
Image Number: 119349
Caption: I didn’t realize there was so much awful stuff on TV until I had a kid. Uh oh, here they go … People love they sex an' violence on TV until they have a kid … then all of a sudden they think it's TV's job to raise they kids for 'em. NYPD Blue used to show butt-nekkit people on TV at PRIME TIME. But people like you ruined that. Yeah, now you only have 500 other places to see that sort of thing. You been peekin' at my bookmarks? What? What?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-12 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-12 Pub. Date: 2013-11-12
Image Number: 103799
Caption: Last week, you said if you earned $10 million in profit, and Obama raised your taxes to 50% you'd only take home $5 million. But that's not how our marginal tax rates work. Everyone's earnings are taxed exactly the same, whether you're a billionaire or a thousandaire. We all pay 10% on our first $8,500, 15% on earning between $8,500 and $34,500, 25% only on the portion between $34,500 and 83,600, and so on. If there were a 50% bracket, it would only be the 50% of the very top part of your income. On what page of the Communist Manifesto did you find all this? (This cartoon was published originally on 11/5/2011).
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-05 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-05 Pub. Date: 2011-11-05
Image Number: 72413
Caption: Last week, you said if you earned $10 million in profit, and Obama raised your taxes to 50% you'd only take home $5 million. But that's not how our marginal tax rates work. Everyone's earning are taxed exactly the same, whether you're a billionaire or a thousandaire. We all pay 10% on our first $8,500, 15% on earning between $8,500 and $34,500, 25% only on the portion between $34,500 and 83,600, and so on. If there were a 50% bracket, it would only be the 50% of the very top part of your income. On what page of the Communist Manifesto did you find all this?
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-09 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-09 Pub. Date: 2011-08-09
Image Number: 64167
Caption: "So don't worry, I can't testify against you"? No, even further back. "Your ex subpoenaed me. I'm supposed to talk about how you got me to impersonate you an' watch Lionel so you could go to a school reunion, while you ex was sick in bed"? No, forward a little. "I can't go within 500 feet of the courthouse 'cause they got a restraining order against me"? That's it ... say what?
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-09-04 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-09-04 Pub. Date: 2010-09-04
Image Number: 51491
Caption: You're going to buy me WHAT? An iPad. How much did you earn off your books? $9,500. How much credit card debt do you have? $32,000. I fail to see your point. Dios mio.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-21 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-21 Pub. Date: 2009-02-21
Image Number: 30205
Caption: Lost job & home. Obama limited my CEO salary to $500.000.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-08-24 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-09-05 Pub. Date: 2006-08-24
Image Number: 14518
Caption: I tell you, Islamo-Fascists will stop at nothing! They want to spread their ideology to the whole world, by force if necessary. And that's just plain wrong. That's the one thing these people can't seem to get through to their thick heads… …No matter how many times Western nations have invaded them over the last 500+ years to explain it to them. Thank God for cultural clash
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-11-18 500 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-11-20 Pub. Date: 2005-11-18
Image Number: 12253
Caption: Why did I suddenly become a conservative, fire-and-brimstone type, you ask? The times, my boy. White House offered our church $500,000. Sin is rising and the Lord needs soldiers and shepherds. While House offered our church $500,000. Even I, the Reverend Wilfred, can't ignore the harsh world we live in today. White House offered our church $500,000. What? What?
     
Result page:     (13 images)