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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (36 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-19 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-19 Pub. Date: 2017-08-19
Image Number: 161536
Caption: It's estimated the Amazon contains about 100 tribes never contacted by outside civilization. And there are hundreds more uncontacted people in jungles all over the world. They've probably never heard of the black plague, or the Dark Ages, or the Mongol hordes, or World War II, or Donald Trump ... and we've never heard of all the calamities they've survived, either.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-02 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-02 Pub. Date: 2017-05-02
Image Number: 157546
Caption: Did you read my article on Trump's first 100 days? Nah, bruh. No point. Me knowin' what he does ain't gonna change what he do. Big Cheeto impervious to public opinion, so I might as well not have one. Stop making stupidity sound like wisdom. It's irresponsible. Think of the children. What for? They don't think of me.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-30 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-30 Pub. Date: 2017-04-30
Image Number: 156792
Caption: What brings you to therapy … "Steve"? I feel like everything is slipping out of my clutches. Dr. Noodle. I spent years cozying up to the boss, isolating him from the advice of others, stoking his paranoia. I subtly convinced him that everyone was against him and that he could trust no one but me and his family, and even they were a little fishy. I had him in the palm of my hand. I said "buy," he bought. I said "sell," he sold. I said "destroy," and he ruined the lives of the people I said were his enemies. I was the most powerful man in the world! I was the man behind the throne! Did I say I charge $100 an hour? I meant to say $1,000. But then I made the mistake of turning off his tv in the middle of Finding Dory. It's his favorite movie.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-01 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-01 Pub. Date: 2017-04-01
Image Number: 156202
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? The "Independent Woman's Forum" gave Vice President Mike Pence a "Working for Women" award. He voted against the Lilly Ledbetter equal pay bill … he led the fight to defund Planned Parenthood … he tried to redefine rape so that only women who were "forcibly" raped could have a choice ... So I interviewed the IWF and asked them "Isn't it 100% backwards to give him a 'Working for Women' award?" And what did they say? They gave me a "Mansplainer of the Year" award.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-01 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-01 Pub. Date: 2016-06-01
Image Number: 143920
Caption: What do I have to do to get Donald Trump to attack me on Twitter" I've tried pretty much everything. I've written articles about his phony college, documented over 100 of his lies, and cataloged every time he's pandered to racists. But so far he hasn't called me a "loser," a "total failure," or even "nobody." Being trash-talked by Trump is a rite of passage for any real journalist. Didn't he once have a goon yank you out of a press conference by your underpants? You're just trying to make me feel better.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-06 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-06 Pub. Date: 2016-05-06
Image Number: 142722
Caption: If the sleeping pills I prescribed for you don't work, I want you to try guided meditation. You'll close your eyes and imagine yourself rising into the warm heavens. The worry and anxiety in your face melts away. Focus on the darkness behind your eyelids. Imagine that darkness turning into outer space. The stars beckon you to join them. You float to them. You become one with them. That's when the great truth of the universe reveals itself to you, and you learn ... we're out of time. That'll be $100. OH COME ON!!!
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-16 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-16 Pub. Date: 2016-04-16
Image Number: 141801
Caption: Lemont, how come you dont ever disagree with me? You've always been 100% supportive of all my ideas, my style, my relationships Sometimes I feel like your lack of dissent means you dont care what I say or do. That's stupid. I disagree with you all the time. You're just saying that to make me feel better. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-03-29).
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-28 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-28 Pub. Date: 2015-08-28
Image Number: 131717
Caption: Before I forget, yo' momma want you to write her more often. An' before I forget, Double-Cross raisin' your insurance premiums by $100. An' before I forget, Feudalbanc Massacard fraud prevention wanna know if you really bought six tubes of Preparation H. And before I forget, I need to change my passwords more often. I don't even wanna know why you need six tubes.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-04 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-04 Pub. Date: 2015-08-04
Image Number: 130584
Caption: Did you hear, Clyde? It's looking more and more like the EM drive may actually work! It could get from earth to the moon in four hours. It could reach Mars in 70 days. It could reach the nearest star in just 100 years! Don't you see? This is the "impulse drive" from Star Trek! This is the "Epstein drive" from The Expanse, only it's real! It could be the most important development in human history. Yet everyone's still talking about Donald Trump. When you talk geek, it make me physically ill, bruh.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-22 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-22 Pub. Date: 2015-02-22
Image Number: 122695
Caption: "Your thigh bone's connected to your hip bone Your shoulder bone's connected to your neck bone Your neck bone's connected to your head bone Now hear the word of the Lord!" James Weldon Johnson wrote that almost 100 years ago. Yeah, well I still don't see why it's James Weldon Johnson's fault you just had to pay $5,000 to get your teeth fixed. It's obvious, Lemont. For 100 years, they've been indoctrinating us at an early age into not considering teeth to be an integral part of the body. That's what lets health insurance get away with not covering dental. I bet the HMOs paid the guy not to even mention the tooth bone. It's the only explanation for such a glaring omission. First of all, I'm not sure "tooth bone" is a thing ... which is proof that a century of brainwashing works.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-29 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-29 Pub. Date: 2014-03-29
Image Number: 109227
Caption: Lemont, how come you dont ever disagree with me? You've always been 100% supportive of all my ideas, my style, my relationships Sometimes I feel like your lack of dissent means you dont care what I say or do. That's stupid. I disagree with you all the time. You're just saying that to make me feel better.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-23 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-23 Pub. Date: 2014-02-23
Image Number: 107347
Caption: Morrie Turner. Father of diversity on the comics page. Soul Corner. In 1965, Morris "Morrie" Turner became the father of diversity on the comics page when he launched "Wee Pals" The first syndicated strip featuring black, white, Latino and Asian characters. Morrie became an instrumental part of the civil rights movement after the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. when over 100 papers added his message of racial harmony to their comics pages. Every Sunday in Wee Pals "Soul Corner," Morrie celebrated African-American historical figures that the history books usually ignored. Proving to little kids everywhere that now matter what we look like, we could grow up to be doctors, scientists, academicians, leaders ... and cartoonists. 1923 - 2014. Morrie Turner.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-23 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-23 Pub. Date: 2013-08-23
Image Number: 100555
Caption: Before I forget, yo' momma want you to write her more often. Thug 4 Life. An' before I forget, dubble-cross raisin' your insurance premiums by $100. An' before I forget, Feudalbanc Massacard fraud prevention wanna know if you really bought six tubes of Preparation H. And before I forget, I need to change my passwords more often. I don't even wanna know why you need six tubes.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-24 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-24 Pub. Date: 2013-06-24
Image Number: 98447
Caption: Ok, how's this sound: You come back to work for us and we'll give you 5% of the gross profits of the paper. The Candorville Chronicle. After deducting standard operating expenses. Editor-in-Chief. That sounds more like your talking about NET profits. No, we're talking the gross of the net. AND you'll get full benefits, with a 100% co-pay.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-09 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-09 Pub. Date: 2013-06-09
Image Number: 97405
Caption: Rev, you know how you announced that we need $100k for renovations? Why do you ask, Marlin? Well A congregant named Steven Warren put a $100,000 check in the donation plate. I dont know if we should cash it: it seems like it must be a mistake. For one thing, the largest donation we ever made before was $50. "Looketh not a gift horse in the mouth." Not an official verse, but it should've been. Also, he mistakenly signed it "Mick E. Mouse. "Letteth not an unconventional nickname stop you from cashing a check." Not an official verse ...
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-28 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-28 Pub. Date: 2013-04-28
Image Number: 95776
Caption: Hello, you've reached Zombiemac.com were we can bring any computer except yours back from the dead. Zombiemac.com, home of the on-site repair specialists! We will come to any home except yours, which is one block past our service area. ZOMBIEMAC.COM will fix your computer and give you a 100% money-back guarantee against any future damage other than the damage that ends up happening. ZOMBIEMAC.COM, where prompt customer service is our promise to you! Hello? ... Except now, when we place you on hold for fifteen minutes. Should've gone with vampiremac.com.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-10 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-10 Pub. Date: 2012-07-10
Image Number: 51939
Caption: Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep. Oh. Go right ahead. By the way, did I tell you about the bed bug epidemic? Your bed may be infested with millions of blood-sucking insects. I can't sleep at all. 100% of those who suffer from insomnia will DIE!!! ... eventually. (This cartoon was originally published in 2010).
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-25 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-25 Pub. Date: 2012-02-25
Image Number: 76742
Caption: Have you ever thought that in the hundreds and thousands of years man has been here We've only heard the best singers of the last 100 or so? For all we know, there was an ancient Mesopotamian donkey-herder whose voice could make the angels weep. But we'll never, ever hear her because time screwed her out of a recording contract. I don't think they "herded" donkeys. No, I googled it. Donkeys were all ever ancient Mesopotamia.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-01 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-01 Pub. Date: 2011-07-01
Image Number: 62675
Caption: The power of suggestion is insidious. For months, we've been dealing with your delusion about your ex being an ancient, evil vampire. A couple of nights ago, I actually dreamt it was all true and that she was holding me prisoner in her dungeon. Can we deal with my delusion that you charge me $100 an hour to talk about ME and not YOU?
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-25 100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-25 Pub. Date: 2010-10-25
Image Number: 53533
Caption: Times are tight and we have an 8-year-old to feed. Should I cancel our cable and internet? It'd save us $100/month. #$%& no. Then y'all'd have to actually talk to each other. That'd be MORE costly. Really? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice $2. Right now. If your wife cheatin', you don't know. If your 8-year-old emotionally disturbed, you have no idea. A $100 cable bill cheaper than alimony and a therapist. I hadn't thought of it like that.
     
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