Boss … there was a $25,000 "Christmas bonus" in my check this year. I just want to thank you. I was totally wrong about you, you're a great man. Don't mention it. You've been my trusted right-hand stooge for almost 16 years now. This is my little way of saying ... you are ordered to spend every last cent of it downloading poetry and widget diagrams from Poetry-and-Widgets.com. This wouldn't be some sort of money laundering scheme, would it? Don't be absurd. Money can never be dirty.