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Candorville

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Result page:     (15 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-30 $100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-30 Pub. Date: 2017-04-30
Image Number: 156792
Caption: What brings you to therapy … "Steve"? I feel like everything is slipping out of my clutches. Dr. Noodle. I spent years cozying up to the boss, isolating him from the advice of others, stoking his paranoia. I subtly convinced him that everyone was against him and that he could trust no one but me and his family, and even they were a little fishy. I had him in the palm of my hand. I said "buy," he bought. I said "sell," he sold. I said "destroy," and he ruined the lives of the people I said were his enemies. I was the most powerful man in the world! I was the man behind the throne! Did I say I charge $100 an hour? I meant to say $1,000. But then I made the mistake of turning off his tv in the middle of Finding Dory. It's his favorite movie.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-06 $100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-06 Pub. Date: 2016-05-06
Image Number: 142722
Caption: If the sleeping pills I prescribed for you don't work, I want you to try guided meditation. You'll close your eyes and imagine yourself rising into the warm heavens. The worry and anxiety in your face melts away. Focus on the darkness behind your eyelids. Imagine that darkness turning into outer space. The stars beckon you to join them. You float to them. You become one with them. That's when the great truth of the universe reveals itself to you, and you learn ... we're out of time. That'll be $100. OH COME ON!!!
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-28 $100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-28 Pub. Date: 2015-08-28
Image Number: 131717
Caption: Before I forget, yo' momma want you to write her more often. An' before I forget, Double-Cross raisin' your insurance premiums by $100. An' before I forget, Feudalbanc Massacard fraud prevention wanna know if you really bought six tubes of Preparation H. And before I forget, I need to change my passwords more often. I don't even wanna know why you need six tubes.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-23 $100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-23 Pub. Date: 2013-08-23
Image Number: 100555
Caption: Before I forget, yo' momma want you to write her more often. Thug 4 Life. An' before I forget, dubble-cross raisin' your insurance premiums by $100. An' before I forget, Feudalbanc Massacard fraud prevention wanna know if you really bought six tubes of Preparation H. And before I forget, I need to change my passwords more often. I don't even wanna know why you need six tubes.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-09 $100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-09 Pub. Date: 2013-06-09
Image Number: 97405
Caption: Rev, you know how you announced that we need $100k for renovations? Why do you ask, Marlin? Well … A congregant named Steven Warren put a $100,000 check in the donation plate. I don’t know if we should cash it: it seems like it must be a mistake. For one thing, the largest donation we ever made before was $50. "Looketh not a gift horse in the mouth." Not an official verse, but it should've been. Also, he mistakenly signed it "Mick E. Mouse. "Letteth not an unconventional nickname stop you from cashing a check." Not an official verse ...
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-01 $100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-01 Pub. Date: 2011-07-01
Image Number: 62675
Caption: The power of suggestion is insidious. For months, we've been dealing with your delusion about your ex being an ancient, evil vampire. A couple of nights ago, I actually dreamt it was all true … … and that she was holding me prisoner in her dungeon. Can we deal with my delusion that you charge me $100 an hour to talk about ME and not YOU?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-25 $100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-25 Pub. Date: 2010-10-25
Image Number: 53533
Caption: Times are tight and we have an 8-year-old to feed. Should I cancel our cable and internet? It'd save us $100/month. #$%& no. Then y'all'd have to actually talk to each other. That'd be MORE costly. Really? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice $2. Right now. If your wife cheatin', you don't know. If your 8-year-old emotionally disturbed, you have no idea. A $100 cable bill cheaper than alimony and a therapist. I hadn't thought of it like that.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-06-04 $100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-06-04 Pub. Date: 2010-06-04
Image Number: 48016
Caption: Hello, Mom, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm out buying clean underwear, in case I get into an accident. HELLO! THIS IS 97 FM! If you'd answered, you'd have won $100,000!
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-12 $100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-12 Pub. Date: 2009-09-12
Image Number: 38146
Caption: I'm going to have to stop now. Wait, I thought the rate was $100 an hour. It is. I take Massacard, by the way. Yeah, but we started at 4:30 and it's only 5:30. Why's the session over? Therapy works on the 50-minute hour. … … Because customers are too crazy to realize 50 minutes is not an hour?
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-11 $100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-11 Pub. Date: 2009-09-11
Image Number: 38145
Caption: Therapy's a rip-off! You're not telling me anything useful about me! Like what? I don't know, like maybe I feel responsible for my dad having run out on us, so I've been PUNISHING myself ever since. And maybe instead of staying with Roxanne because I'm a good man, I'm staying to atone for my misplaced guilt ... ... And the first step in curing my guilt is to realize it's ok to leave Roxanne. Y'know, something USEFUL like THAT. That'll be $100.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-09 $100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-09 Pub. Date: 2009-09-09
Image Number: 38143
Caption: I feel like I'm losing it, Doc. What's wrong with me? Interesting. What do you THINK is wrong with you? I don't know, aren't you supposed to tell me? Interesting. Why do you feel it's my role to tell you? What? Stop that. You think I'm paying $100 an hour for you to not answer my questions? You think that's what I'm trying to accomplish? ... What ARE you trying to accomplish? AAAARGH!
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-15 $100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-15 Pub. Date: 2009-03-15
Image Number: 30807
Caption: Spare change? Spare $1? What's he mean, "I'm withholding 100%, you'll thank me next April"?
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-14 $100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-14 Pub. Date: 2009-03-14
Image Number: 30806
Caption: Hey! There is absolutely no ham in this hamburger! What're you goin' on about? False advertising! I'm going to sue! Or we can settle out of court. I'll accept $600. I'll give you five. Or better yet, I'll give you one. Hey!
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-06-07 $100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-06-08 Pub. Date: 2006-06-07
Image Number: 13935
Caption: Congressman Jefferson? I'm Lemont Brown, with the Candorville Courier. I didn't take bribes. The FBI videotaped you from several angles taking a $100,000 bribe. They later found most of that money in your freezer. I don't think so. Hey, are you the same congressman who used the National Guard to rescue stuff from your house while people were drowning during Hurricane Katrina? Hurricane what?
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-03-25 $100 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-03-29 Pub. Date: 2006-03-25
Image Number: 13325
Caption: But on the bright side, the alley's average income just rose to about $100,000.
     
Result page:     (15 images)